A Clockwork Pink

by GySgt Buck

My Malenky Pink Devotchka

"Not so bad? Please! They’re a buncha losers!"

"Oh, c’mon now. “Losers” might be a little strong, don’cha think?"

"After the way they treated you? I say “losers” isn’t strong enough."

"Well, it was pretty rude..."

"Pretty rude? It was down right deeespicable!"

"It was, wasn’t it?"

"If I were you, I wouldn’t speak to them ever again."

"You know what? I’m not gonna speak to them ever again. And I’m not gonna invite them to another party as long as I live! They don’t deserve to be invited to my parties. Not after the way they’ve been acting."

"Deeespicable!"

"Such losers!"

"Yes, zat’s right."

"Well done."

"Yeah!"

"You show ’em!"

Viddy this, if you will, oh my brothers. Surely my gulliver had to have let flow the red red kroovy and I was certainly imagining all this...a pink pony, a devotchka, by the sound of her voice, was like, talking to her lonesome, with only a bag of flour, a turnip and a pile of rocks to keep her company. She had clearly gone bidy bye and all sorts of bezoomy, like someone had tolchocked her a time too many.

I look down and viddy myself to be what she was, that being a four legged animal with a tail and everything. Looking between my legs I noted with great relief that I had a pair of yarbles. I was, indeed, a malchick and not a ptista like my pink counterpart. From my corner of the room, I saw she had, like, three balloons decorating her bum. I look down me own bum and viddy an eyeball being cut into by a switchblade nohz, the fore mentioned eye wearing a bowler-type schlapa, like one me meself had worn before doing time in the sodding staja.

Not near used to my new body, as of yet, oh my brothers, I reach up and pat me gulliver, and somehow, without digits, that is to say, fingers, I grab my very own bowler and take a viddy at it. By this time I notice my malenky pink devotchka has taken a noticing of me, your humble narrator. I simply look up, acknowledge her, take my bowler in my...would you believe, my hoof? I take my bowler, cross it over my chest, and bow to her.

"Afternoon, madame. Pleasant day, is it not? I apolly ologize for being in your domicile like this, but I can't really explain how I came to be here. Only thing I can near figure is that I did, indeed snuff it. Anyway, halabaloo, my name is Alex. Who art thou?"

She viddied me for a moment or two, whether she was more confused up stairs by my appearance or by my vocalization of my nadsat figure of speaking I couldn't begin to wonder.

"Hmm...Alex, huh? Well, I don't remember you. Madame Le Flour, sure. Rocky, Mr. Turnip and Sir Lintsalot, too. I invited them to my party. But you..."

Then, would you believe, she actually took out a piece of paper, a guest list like, and began to viddy the names written thereupon. She must have checked for my name two or three times before she gave me a viddy, and then viddied the list again. She finally put down the list and then strolly rolled over to me and gave me a good look over.

"A party, is it? Well, you seem to be lacking in the entertaining department. This party isn't so well, now is it? If I could, I'd like to bring my own brand of entertainment. Really horrowshow, if you take my fancy."

"Horrowshow? What, like a movie?"

"Oh, my little devotchka, no. Horrowshow means good! I mean to provide you with good entertainment! We should go out and have a great time! Forget these cruel lewdies you've been going on about!"

"Hmm...I guess I could use some cheering up. Did you know my friends have been avoiding me all day? They went behind my back and made up all sorts of excuses as to why they wouldn't come to my pet alligator's after birthday party! Can you believe that?"

"The nerve! What a rotten thing to do!" I decide to play along, to placate this pink pony, as it were. Certainly she had a pet alligator. I must have tolchocked my gulliver something fierce to be thinking up this crazy dream. If my keeshkas weren't spilled out on the sidewalk, then surely my skull had been cracked like a great big eggy weg. Come to think of it, last thing I remember was Ludwig van's ninth causing a terrible sickness in my gut. Those nasty head doctors had tricked my mozg into thinking that Beethoven's glorious music was in the same sort of bad that was violence and the forcible in out in out with the ptistas. I jumped out of a tall tall window to escape from the pain of Ludwig van. I felt I had no choice but to snuff it.

And now I was here, that being in a place with this pink pony who fancied partying, if the three balloons on her bum signified anything. My little devotchka's mood and look on her face said otherwise, oh my brothers. Surely she had gone quite loony spouting all this chepooka from her litso. It was actually starting to annoy me something horrorshow. I couldn't stand to think of someone going all crazy in their mozg, but then like, that's what was going on with me, wasn't it?

"Well, miss?"

"Pinkie Pie. Pinkamena Diane Pie."

"Well, my dear Pinkamena, what say you and I go out and tolchock some of these "friends" of yours? Distribute a little bit of the old ultraviolence?"

"Ultraviolence? Oh, its like a word game! Horrorshow means good. Good is opposite of horror, isn't it? So Ultraviolence must mean...umm..." She didn't think long, my brothers. "Happiness! A party! Yeah, let's go show them a party they'll never forget! That'll show em!"

And oh, my brothers, I grinned the biggest grin I had in a very long while, what with my long horsey worsey of a face being as big as it was. I returned my bowler to me gulliver , wrapped my arm around Pinkaena and started to laugh.

"Absolutely! Ultrapartying! Let's get to it, love!"

Comments

[SteamPoweredStallion]

All i can say is, this is real horrorshow!

[GySgt Buck]

1045741I'm not getting very good feedback on another website considering where I want to go with this...I want to recreate THAT scene, you know, the "Singing In the Rain," but with Fluttershy...the thought hit me like a bullet and made me EXTREMELY uncomfortable but that's why I want to write it...but its FLUTTERSHY, for F*CK'S SAKE!

[Boolyboo]

I like this. I even got the Movie.....maybe i should watch it again. Anyway keep it up.

th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/169/f/c/pinkie_pie_from_a_clockwork_orange_by_oooyahikoooo-d53rzbs.png

On a side-note: how does he look like? You said that he had an eye for a cutie-mark

djfollette.com/DiscGolf/images/clockwork%20eye.gif

And he had his bowler hat. Does he also have the mark on his eye and his knife?

[GySgt Buck]

1045851 Didn't plan that far ahead, actually. Just imagine an off white version of the Pinkie Pie image in the header. Since it is first person, I'm not going to go into it too much more. I want the readers to draw their own psychopath.

[Boolyboo]

1045937
lh6.googleusercontent.com/-zMaalR8cTdQ/TdcqORCRy6I/AAAAAAAABcQ/SHMiq54tVTk/15130%25252520-%25252520macro%25252520pinkamena_diane_pie%25252520pinkie_pie.png

Okey so this is my thought of how he looks like:

t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSjGjOyjMb_c3oBx_pyOhXQh8rJu07JMoJuSmiPMlXdaFTHGIquM_0hVpFz

Also here is another pic that you can use as the Cover for the pic:

i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff483/Jozako/Peliculas%20MLP%20FIM/clockworkorange.jpg

[Torph]

Hell. Yes.

Just try to be careful with using American-English terms in Alex's dialogue (he is English, after all) .

I'll keep an eye on this one.

[Bluebox]

My gulliver is whirring about wondering what Pinkamena Diane and the droog might be up to!

[jmj]

I loved a clockwork orange! That book was amazing! You do so well with the language. I usually dislike the "insert character" into equestria stories but this is great!

[RDSmashBrother]

I've always wanted someone to cross MLP over with Clockwork. Love that movie.

[CountDerpy]

an awesome idea. Great movie and perfect way to go about it. Looking forward to more!

[GySgt Buck]

I'm conflicted. I'm being ostracized on my general forum website about this idea but getting more praise than usual here...thank you all so much.

[SteamPoweredStallion]

1045808

I think that a negative reaction an indication that you're doing the right thing. There's no reason to make a Clockwork Orange reference if it's not going to be shocking.

[GySgt Buck]

1047834 You know, the more I thought about it the more I think I SHOULDN'T do a scene like that, but rather have them play on her biggest fear...but PARTYING. Like taking Fluttershy to a live karaoke bar, Rarity to a ho down, that sort of thing...I could WRITE it like that scene but then have it turn out they just did something else instead...have the reader THINK that he's going to do a little of the old in out in out with Fluttershy.

[CBM8]

That moment when you haven't read Clockwork Orange yet and you come upon this and must read it.

[GySgt Buck]

1048788 Its GOOD. And a fairly short read. Only 200 pages. The slang is the hardest part to get through. If you could read my short story without a problem, then the actual novel won't be hard.

[CBM8]

1048839 I hope I do soon. Just gotta finish The Great Gatsby first. Only 180 pages.

[GySgt Buck]

Who downvoted? Must I tolchock a chelloveck on the gulliver? Who's with me, droogies?

[MissytheAngle]

I'll admit it, the only reason this piece captured my attention because Nostalgia Critic mentioned Alex in "Top 11 Scariest Performances," and I was curious about how someone like him would be in here. I almost forgot "A Clockwork Orange" had strange language. See, I never read it, only heard of it. My curiosity brought me even more confusion from most of what Alex was saying; not your fault, mine for reading a story based on another that can be very complicated to comprehend. But still, it intuigues me and I can't help but like it. Even with the bemusing diction, I look forward to future chapters, because someone such as Alex being around Pinkie Pie can only make things hell...which is exactly why I am keeping an eye on this. *grins*

[Electric Bass]

Dang...I had no idea this story existed. Honestly .

Let the psycho terror begin.

[Braininthejar]

At the first moment I read the description I did the math and for a moment I thought he got reincarnated as a bucket of turnips ...

[Lucefudu]

I pray to god almighty that you, oh dear brother, concludes this marvelous tale.

It does seem that your mind has been drifting and having second guesses, yes? About which scenes should and shouldn't? Don't mull too much on them, is my advice. Write what would come naturally for Alexander, the large in this world of prissy, gay pastel horses.

I'm betting that an in out in out with Fluttershy, like you stated, isn't too far off, yes?

[Braininthejar]

Talk about mixed feelings. Hit too far from the original and it will be a wasted idea. Hit too close and I won't read it...

Also much of his slang seems to be bastardised Polish...

[Discordedderpangel]

Pleas make more

[Quasarbooster]

Man, this is so amazing! Alex's personality fits right into this! I just..jfgdgdshdhjhdnkgkwmso

[Discordedderpangel]

GySgt Buck I love A Clockwork Orange and I really like this story. I was wondering if it would be alright for me to do a reading of it for youtube. I usually do gaming commentary but this laptop can get pretty laggy, unable to keep up with all the processing. So I'm trying out readings. I imagine it will help me later commentating and it feels awesome to read cool stories. If you don't replay to this comment in about a week maybe. I'll send it to you in a PM and if you don't replay to that. I'll assume you are dead and this story will never be finished making me sad

[Pedro-Paramo]

I came...