- Member Since 27th Jan, 2019
- offline last seen Last Wednesday
OrganicMachine
The nature of daylight is fleeting and always succumbs to night as all things are temporary.
OrganicMachine
Joined 27th Jan, 2019 ·
Offline
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OrganicMachine · 11k words · 109 12 · 2.7k views
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Well, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
Though, no offense, you need to pick up a book on grammar. There are many places where you should have used commas, among other things.
9438143
English was never my strong suit. Science on the other hand was.
9438159
Your stories are featured in several groups, if you drop by them and ask, there are always plenty of people willing to help with editing and proof reading for Authors. You just have to ask.
In my opinion, perfect grammar is not necessary to fully enjoy a story. There are several great stories here that were written in a foreign language, then translated to english using an online translator. Some translators do a fair job, while other translator apps are terrible and the end result is painful to read. It just depends.
Ill read this story next and give you some feedback. It looks interesting.
The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study and be evil." - Reykan
Shouldn't you complete "Purification" before you start this one?
9454603
This is short and I plan on making 'Purification' very long. I mostly wrote this so some people can understand the main character.
The switching between 1st and 3rd person is still jarring.
9438143
Exclamation of surprise: HOLY SH#T! IT'S YOU!
Eh...
Ok sounds like entertainment
Twilight looked like she was about to burst into treats. "Anon! With that knowledge we could advance pony kind into something amazing!"
Treats? I think you mean tears
9709009
-Begin Comment-
No I actually mean treats. As in exploding into a pile of treats, that you can eat.
-End Comment-
Well I'm thoroughly entertained follows for you!
He just being normal, unlike you fanfic fools.
So... was Purification written on the idea of not having any knowledge of the prequel or the correct wy to read is this one first then purification?
I am going to start with puri just because this one seem to be an afterthought but still curious to know.
Does anon dreams of anonimous sheep?
Just one question: Is "Creator" ok with the arrangement?
I understand that Logic was created to help Creator prosper and all but it is not clear if Logic has gone out of control of that is what Creator wanted from the start. Perspective changes depending on which one it is.
Wait... another question: Is the wrait just Logic or a combination of Logic, Anger and Insanity? Did Logic killed Creator or is it also in the wrait?
I don't see why Twilight is having so much problem...
Just explain to him that doing good things for the sake of connecting with others is good. Like have Pinkie make the party just to maoe her happy and you have someone to help you with things when you need... ot just tell the Heart' warming story to him, the threat of an ice age for ponies not being happy would be more than enough to make him nice.