Alternate Ending: The Place Under no Sky
Alternate Ending: The Place Under no Sky
She waits at the station. The Canterlot Castle dominates her vision, every feature glaring down at her from high atop the mountain.
The train whistles, it’s near.
She looks at the ponies gathered around her, searching every face for a reason to stay just a moment longer.
Too late. Its over.
She mutters one last goodbye between herself, the lonely rainslick floorboards of the station, and to the pony that she held close so dearly.
Her mane is flat, her face hidden by the silken curtain. It won’t be much longer. She doesn’t dare look back, afraid that her past will reach out and grab her, sucking her back into that dark, watery despair.
She stands firmly on her hooves.
The whistle gets closer. This is it, she thinks, I can’t turn back now.
A flutter of wings behind her. A much too familiar flutter of wings.
She gasps.
She has to turn, at least to see if she’s right. Courage returns to her, and she lifts a hoof . . .
Nothing . . .
She didn’t hear anything. Dash is not here . . .
Why would she be here?
I have to go, or I’ll start seeing her everywhere again.
The train arrives, billowing a thick cloud of steam all over the platform.
She disappears in the fog . . . with a sad smile in her face and no song in her heart. Wherever she’s going there’s no place for songs.
Some years later she has obtained it.
A place where she can’t possibly think about her love.
A cold, barren, desolate place no different from the farm where she grew up. It’s not even that distant, actually. She has even picked up the family business: rocks . . .
Those six colors are nowhere to be found, erased by the passage of time.
She can’t even catch a glimpse of the sky. That sky is just like her heart: lots of obscured gray and ominous darkness, but no blue.
Just like she wanted . . .
She never sees her friends. She hasn’t heard of them for quite a while. The memories of those days are fading, just like her love. She can’t even remember the name of that blue mare . . .
She doesn’t see anypony at all, save for her workers.
One of the farmers brings a newspaper with him one day. He starts to read it aloud for the other workers.
She happens to eavesdrop them.
The headlines are about the Wonderbolts and their new captain. He’s a great fan of them.
Their youngest captain ever: a beautiful, brave, incredible blue pegasus with a mane of six colors and her tradermark pink headband . . .
Pink . . .
She wears pink.
Pinkie can only cry now, and lament for what could’ve been . . .
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1060706
Thank you, that comment cheered me up a little, ironically.
Pretty good, I think I might prefer it to the original ending too.
You must stop writing in what is essentially slang though; "she didn't hear nothing" should be "she didn't hear anything."
Call me a jerk, but I like this ending more.
1060834
Finally someone that mentioned it! Thank you! Thank you! And thank you! Fixing it right away!
Also, love the song.
1060706 Sometimes a writer has to fill in the "What if's" of a story. Its something that nags at them until they finally decide to do it. I speak from experience and have written many a depressing "what if" amongst the stories that have piled around me over the past five years. Stories as powerful as this one have a tendency to write themselves, though I cannot speak for this story as I am not the one that guided it.
1060845
.
You're welcome. I hate when good stories are dragged down by small mistakes. And I'm glad you liked the song, its a favorite of mine
I...I like this ending better...
I suppose it's because I'm listening to
at the same time
1060914
Yep. That's how it was. But the funny thing is that the "real" ending is technically a what if, as i have mentioned earlier in the comments, and the alternate one is the original. At least in the writing process.But the point remains: the eventuality had to be explored.
You know... i was wandering this morning what will be the story if Rainbow never went to the train station... And that ending is so heart-crushing...
Good job.
Hey... hey feels...
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1057005
If you're serious about shooting for EQD, you'll want to take it to ponychan's /fic/ board first. As it stands you'd burn your first strike on grammatical errors alone, and nopony should go through that.
That being said, I wish you luck.
1061728
I can fix that. Do all the fics that are posted on EqD have to pass from there? I didn't know that.
I was kind of depressed before I read this. Now I'm really depressed. Thanks a lot..
Seriously though, this alternate ending is much better than the epilogue, both in terms of actual writing and how well it fits the tone of the rest of the fic. It's great to get a happy ending in which everything works out, but depressing endings have something most compelling about them as well..
1062052
No, but it's a smart move. I put my story up here--after only self-editing--and then went straight to EQD's submission page.
My pre-reader was kind about it and has even helped me fix it up--which is totally icing, as they're not required to help you at all--but I shouldn't have blown my first strike like that. I only have two shots left, and now I'm sweating bullets.
Figured I'd spare you my mistake.
..Great, now I'm crying. Good story. I loved it. But..man, the manly tears.
1062134
Thank you! I'll fix any mistake i can find and then i'll post it there. At least i have to try, right? And if someone pulls a Yoda and says There is no try i'm gonna get angry
1062162
They're called manly for a reason. There's no shame in them
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!!!!
Now I'm depressed...
-Jorofrarie
you are a horrible person for making me feel this way... favoriting and liking...
I like this ending because I don't have to acknowledge it.
1067779
There's no logic: there's only Rarity
1070862
Haha, yeah! Sparity is my second favourite so i wanted to at least hint at it before writing a proper fic about them. I just need an original idea...
1071107
"pat his back to comfort him"
1062203
this was the original ending, huh, I like it.
Just curious but were are you from. I've noticed many people (mainly movie writers) tend to write happy endings in america for whatever reason. Like the masses can't handle the realistic situation where one lone hero goes in and gets his optimistic ass kicked by the advanced technology and army of henchmen the villain has. It's weird but it's something I've noticed American's do (I'm american and the fact that we can hardly get a decent, sad ending in a movie bothers me.)
Either way it was amazing before and with this it just gets better
This is why I'm watching you
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1077660
I'm Italian, actually. But, like many of my generation, i grew up with american movies. Although i'm kid of an oddball because most of my favorite movies tend to have an ending of the bittersweet kind:The Wrath of Khan, Terminator 2, Donnie Darko, A Fistful of Dynamite ( well, that one is more bitter than sweet...), The Girl who Leapt Through Time. Also i always liked the one hero that fails his quest like The Epic of Gilgamesh ( he didn't achieve immortality except trough his works) and my second favorite album of all time: Hope Rides Alone by The Protomen, so i'm writing a story of that kind. But i don't think it'll be pony related, i don't just write fanfiction, you know
1077724
Yeah I know what you mean, thought I was referring to more disney (or any kid movies really)/ action movies. I love the sci-fi, like wrath of khan and what not (Picard>Kirk). It's not just the kids movies either, we actually have a movie here (and another one is coming out) that has a good amount of the popular action movie 'heroes' actors all in one movie and i can guarantee you this, if one ACTUALLY dies then it will be some sort of self sacrifice after accumulation a kill count in the triple digits and ensure the rest of them win. It's inevitable, in 99% of the movies here, especially a lot of the new ones, good will always triumph over evil
Sorry, I'm rambling, but yeah I know what you mean. I'd be interested in reading it, pony related or not. Maybe I might see this story at some point ... that is, if it isn't too much trouble
1077777
Is that Expendables 2 you're talking about? The only reason i'm going to see it it's probably Jean Claude Van Damme
but otherwise i won't. Also, yeah: good always triumphs over evil. But what if it's bad guys vs worse guys 
. I love that kind of stories, just like the one i'm writing and i've talked you about. Once it's finished you'll be the first to know.
1077889
Yeah, Expendables 2. I saw the first and it practically radiated testosterone
bad guys vs worse guys is always fun, it really makes you think because they usually don't right out demonstrate who is who (at least in what i've seen) and that's what makes them so good. In a way you want them both to lose but that wont happen and you just don't know how you want it to play out. Great entertainment
also, the cuteness of the Fluttershy has worked
can't wait
I prefer the Alternate Ending for large impact. I just can't shake out of my head. The thought that something is missing. As if I encountered The Uncanny Valley of endings.
Wut?
Pinkie, why did you leave?! She wears pink in honor of you! PINK!!!!
If you hadn't left then *Takes a deep breath*
Youcould'vebeenwithdashandshewouldbehappytobewithyouandthenyouwouldn'thavetoliveontherockfarmagainsoyou'dbehappilylivingwithrainbowsoyouwouldn'thavetocryandtheneveryponywouldbe happy.
I don't even know what to say other than that.
I am actually crying
I can't believe anyone can make such a beautiful amazing story like this.
I d'aw'ed all the way through the story until the alternate ending... Now I feel like my heart has been torn asunder
Great story though.... but please never do that again.... it would kill me and then I would not be able to read anymore
there is a slight irony that even this ending has the potential for a happy end.
But only slight
Ouch. That ending hurt. Like, physically.
1062123. I second that
Way to make me sad again after the epilouge cheered me up.
Nothing will ever be sadder than a sad pinkie pie.
Oh, shit. I haven't read this in probably forever and somehow stumbled upon it. Heck, I even see my old comment. I only barely remember reading this, and that was just the first part. So I read it all over again and now this. Quite frankly, I like this ending better for some reason; I don't know why, maybe I'm just a depressing person.
I did say I favorited all those months ago, though I never did, but I still, I feel like this is a really good fanfiction that deserves it.
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Ah, you fiend! Great first story, amazing epilogue, but now I have to thing of the alternate ending? CURSE YOU!!!
wow
You monster. How dare you create this alternative ending?!
That was the cutest thing I ever read!
But the alternate ending made me cry so hard!!!
Keep Smiling!
-SS
Seriously?? Why'd you have to make it saaaaaaaaaad??
Still pretty good though
This ending makes me want to rip out my heart to stop the pain.
I loved this story. I`m not sure which ending I liked best. I think that first one but if you made the other longer than I would choose the second.
This ending was so sad D:
The alternate ending made me cry a little...Poor Pinkie.
Great story.
Nooooo! That end is mean, why did you have to made me feel sad again!
Fortunately, this is the alternate ending. That is, the one that matters is the other one. Unless you're reading Hard Reset.
Anyways, kudos for the story. Very good work.
Aaaand right in the heart again.
You son of a bitch.