"...what did I just even read." - Wintermist || "Pour la beauté du geste" || ooo || π
Apple Bloom was starting to get suspicious. No pictures of her with her parents, no stories about it, no flashbacks where she appeared together with them. So she took matters into her own hooves, and had some tests done in secret, with Twilight's help, to determine her actual relation with her supposed family.
The results were... certainly unexpected. Interesting, to say the least. Absolutely devoid of any logical sense, more appropriately.
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Ummm, ok then
I don't know about anybody else but this actually does make sense
~cackles
I honestly followed this easily. I’m unimpressed by the lack of confusion I am experiencing right now. Add more weird.
This is an impossible paradox.
Big Macintosh... You are NOT the father!
media.tenor.com/images/5bf45b6051d281325a7e294c85e6fcf7/tenor.gif
Does this story have anything to do with the story Contraptionology?
Whatever Celestia gave Cadance must’ve been strong.
This is so ridiculous that it actually makes sense. And really makes my brain hurt. I love it! 😂
Why any of the ponies involved thought it was a good idea (even under the influence)...we'll never know exactly.
shes an orange
before reading this, i'm gonna place my bet on she's her own grandma
EDIT:
*boy was i wrong*
is this homestuck
$5 Discord sent the drugs back in time.
Wut?
Seriously though, did we ever get any real confirmation that Apple Bloom is Applejack's sister, and not some other kind of relation or otherwise acquired?
If im being honest, people have done wierder shit while high as a kite.
Well...that happened.
So funny and would love a sequal or something lol
9400849
I'll bet you ten bucks Discord had NOTHING to do with this, realized what was going on, and laughed his ass off when he realized what happened,
So... Applebloom is Applejack's mother from Cadance doing time travel and Applebloom is an abomination created by Evil Moon-butt, technically making her Moon-butt's daughter, which makes AJ Moon-butt's granddaughter and thus related to Cadance...So... AJ is royalty... as is Applebloom... Did I miss anything?
9401402
15 bucks both of these things happened simultaneously.
i.imgflip.com/jfnha.jpg
--Spade
I have no words
9400842
Oh man a girl I fancied was way too big into homestuck, she shown me soooooo many memes thou XDDDDDD
Thanks for the memories :)
So let me see if I have this right;
So originally Apple Bloom was created by Nightmare Moon. She grew up in that timeline that unknown things happened. She is sent back in time after reaching adulthood to have relations with Night Light. She then has Applejack and both of them are sent forward at different points and Apple Bloom is regressed to foalhood and has her mind wiped.
Am I right?
9401975
Not quite. I'm just going to write the whole thing out in order to help me keep it all clear to myself as well:
And it would all be even more confusing if you tried to put it in full and proper chronological order.
Remember kids, don't smoke crack.
9401564
Applejack's father is Night Light, who is also Twilight Sparkle's father, making them half-sisters. That would mean that Apple Bloom is Night Light's ex and that Twilight Velvet is AJ's stepmother. If being created by Nightmare Moon means that Apple Bloom is Luna's daughter, that would mean that Princess Celestia would be Bloom's Aunt, which would make Cadance and adopted cousin. In turn, Celestia would be Applejack's Great Aunt, and Cadance would be her first cousin once removed. Having Night Light as a father, would also mean that Applejack is a half-sister to Shining Armor, which would also make her a sister-in-law to Cadance. Then there's Flurry Heart, who would be a great niece to Apple Bloom, and both a second cousin and first niece to Applejack simultaneously.
And this is all really cool, which is why I want to share it, but also a real headache to think about, and even with a chart of family titles I can't keep it all straight.
9402039
I'm fond of overly complicated timeline shenanigans, and even *I* think that's excessive. Dammit Cadance!
I like it though. Now we just need a reason why all these events made sense at the time...
9400977
Magical dna testing confirmed that AJ and Twilight are sisters, and that AJ is Bloom's daughter.
...wh
...what?
...Okay then?
9400977
Apple Bloom is a living apple golem created by Nightmare Moon to kill Celestia. ... It seems like.
9402794
I wonder what kind of cutie mark you get for that?
9402797
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/c/cf/Apple_Bloom%27s_cutie_mark_winking_S5E04.png/revision/latest?cb=20150420201113
Somebody make a flowchart for this madness
It turns out AB is 1/1024th Cherokee, so she goes to get herself a beer, very awkwardly.
.... I follow this... and it worries me. Though i wonder how Applebloom was supposed to destroy Celestia.
9402067 Yeah, stick with good ol LDS!!
Mostly vore.
Anyway... (Alondro struggles in a ball of knots)... I'm kinda stuck in all these tangled bootstraps...
9402039
you know what? that made perfect sense to me. in story and in your explanation.
9402797
probably something similar to Twilight's predecessor.
9402995
as someone who is technically somewhere around 3/8ths Cherokee and technically 1/20th Cherokee I take offense to that. we are not drunks. we do not arbitrarily scalp you in your sleep for giggles. we do not all know the rain dance.
9403023
I believe I can guarantee with utmost certainty, that the Cherokee nation had absolutely nothing to do with the making of that joke.
9403034
i'm not sure which you mean but that is exactly my point. just because i am part Cherokee doesn't mean i know the Rain Dance. i have never scalped anyone before. and despite also being Irish, Scottish, and German, i do not even drink alcohol so i am not a drunk.
"Sugarcube, yer spendin' way too much time around Pinkie Pie if yer seein' other ponies' flashbacks."
Ah. It's the entire universe that's spending too much time around Pinkie.
Huh. Given the coloration, I would've guessed father.
"As a side note, my old classmate Lemon Hearts is also your half-sister."
"Not the time, Twi."
Wonderfully insane bit of irresponsible fun with time travel. Thank you for it.
I'll be honest: This might have been funny. But it was ruined by Apple Bloom and Night Light (at least, that ruined it for me). I know it's future Apple Bloom and past Night Light who had sex, not a child and an adult. But it still left a bad taste in my mouth.
And there are two things that really didn't help. One: Night Light's line, "You remind me of someone I spent some time with before meeting my wife, you know?". Two: Half the time, there's foalcon in the feathered box.
What the Hell did I just read?
Snnrgg.