A Christmas to Remember

by TwiPON3

INTERLUDE: Autumn & Speedy's Date - Part 1

After Touchdown's rant over Sofia's request, Seth just had to know what happened between his cousin and their friend earlier.

"What happened earlier?" Seth asked Zecora.

She didn't know how to answer the question because of everything lately, so they just dropped the subject. A minute later, they all left for the Yugo.

"What was he screaming about in there?" Speedy asked.

"I wanted to take his penis to Belarus," Sofia said.

"There..." Seth said, trying to put words together, "There... is an odd reason... I sometimes enjoy you."

Pulling out on the road, the drive back to the house was silent, except for the roar of the engine as Sofia kicked up her feet and continued reading sick, disgusting sting stories.

---

When they got back to the house, it was only a matter of seconds before Autumn got her keys and wallet, then pulled Speedy to her car.

"I know this place, it's called Kirindainā or something like that."

"Let's go," he replied, "I wanna try it."

She started her car, and Adele started blasting from her CD player, startling Speedy for a second.

"You two have very different tastes in music," he said as Autumn turned the volume down by about ten notches.

"I know, he likes this song about Moskau, then Rasputin, Air Supply, Gloria Gaynor, while I'm more in the now."

The thirty-five-minute-long trip was filled with talking, jokes, laughter, and some jackass blowing his horn because they made out at a stoplight.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, it started out as a normal date, but then...

"Kirin dinā e yōkoso, watashi wa anata no u~eitoresudesu, Fern furea," a Kirin said, noticing Autumn, "Kyō wa nani o nomimasu ka?"

"Fern Flare," Autumn said, holding up a fist as her eyes turned somewhat-demonic, "Don't fuckin' ruin my date!"

"Fine, fine. I'm Fern Flare, what will you drink?"

"Beer-ru."

"Pepsi?"

"I'll be back," she said, writing down their orders, then leaving as she put a pencil in her hair.

"This'll be an interesting date," she said, looking at Speedy and accidentally scaring him.

"Uh, Autumn?"

She took out her phone and used its front camera as a mirror, "Don't mind that," she said, putting it back up, "She's a bitch."

He made sure the coast was clear, "Are you gonna rip her head off?"

"I've wanted to do that shit since day one. She was so... God only knows when Seth and I lived in Brooklyn. He'd come back to the apartment all like 'Jesus, Autumn! Yous mad yet!?'"

"How did that turn out?"

"Three people, one handgun, three bullets, you piece it together," she said, lifting the side of her shirt some to show the scar.

"Oohh."

"Yeah."

A minute later, Fern came back with two drinks, both which resembled thick mud, "Enjoy."

"C'me here," Autumn said, pulling Fern to her by the collar of her shirt, "This is my date, and I don't want you ruining it," she darkened somewhat, "I don't care about what we did to each other in the past, but I never tried to ruin your life, so don't try to ruin mine."

Autumn's hair, along with Fern's, began to catch fire at the ends, so Autumn pinned Fern down on the floor.

"GET IT RIGHT!!"

"FINE! FINE, I WILL!"

"Good!" she said, getting up and cracking her bones, "And don't make my guyfriend eat squid if he doesn't want it, ya hear me!?"

Fern, now frightened, ran back to the kitchen, so Autumn went a table over, grabbed one of their drinks, and threw it on herself, extinguishing the flame.

Frightened, she went back to the kitchen and came back out with a glass of beer and a Pepsi, quickly took their orders, then ran back to the kitchen.

Author's Note:

Edge doesn't like me, Firefox 64 doesn't like me, my Lenovo doesn't like me, and I felt like I was dragging this on and on.

Comments

[Snowdrifter]

Edge doesn't like me, Firefox 64 doesn't like me, my Lenovo doesn't like me, and I felt like I was dragging this on and on.

Safari might like you. Cortana too.
You're weird though, so I like you.