The Power Bimbos take on the seductively sinister Love Bunny
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's great to see a new chapter, you're definitely improving
This is a interesting chapter to be sure. It is showing that both Spike and Twilight need to step up their games. As they said they were thinking far far too small about all of this the whole time at the start and that has come back to bit them with them being under prepared for this conflict. One thing I did see over and over that did make me awe a bit was that Spike was referred to as a Sidekick again. Both by the bad guys and really everyone else. Hell Even the narration called him a sidekick lol. I still think this could be a major issue for the team and more so Spike and Twilight's relationship if this gets worse. I mean if the whole time from the very start he has been there, helping her train, pulling her ass out of the fire, being the sensible one of everyone and to be referred to as a minor member of the team.... that is going to hurt. There is also well I honestly can't blame Flash for taking shots at Twi. I honestly would to, but to me I am someone who likes the more.... natural and modest look. Someone who just seem to scream too big to be real would be off putting. Even more so with them running around like she is. So I think him not liking her hero persona but liking the real her could be a fun angle to be toyed with. Overall another fun chapter and I can't wait to see when we get a round 2.
Stygian had a lot of problems to deal with I see, his lack of powers the least of them apparently. Celestia likely topped that list.
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She was probably on top of him quite a bit, along with Mistmane, Somnambula and Mage Meadowbrook.
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I think Spike will grow to be their equal in so many ways; Raven and Celestia did say Stygian was the one who got the team out of so many tight spots.
I really liked how you have Twilight just learning to tap into her powers when she went against that Diamond Dog. Seeing Stygian was a really cool touch; I hope he really decides to give Spike some pointers in the future and make him his protege. Interesting choice for the metal that the staff is made of. I'm also curious to see more of the original team, as well as what happened with Celestia's former student.
So, having read what exists of this, I figure I'd try and offer some constructive criticism since while I like the overall premise, I do, I feel like there's a few small problems that could be ironed out that could improve the overall product.
For one, you're writing the Apples' accent WAY too thick to the point where you omit the 'T's from her speech, which is excessive. I would advise listening to some clips of her, or writing a sentence she's say normally, then try to imagine how it would sound with her accent.
My second point is that the way you describe things feels a little, bland, for lack of a better term. I'm not sure how to put it into words but, I feel like you could be a bit more wordy in describing how characters react and feel. How does their body react to say, fear, for example? Such as Spike seeing his staff busted, you could put that he felt this pit of cold dread in his stomach since the ONE thing he has that lets him be effective, bar the Ouranium boost, is busted.
That aside, I feel like the title is a bit misleading. A Bimbo is a whole thing. It's not just ridiculous proportions and skimpy clothing, it's a mindset, for lack of a better term. Yes, the heroes and villains have powers that can be augmented by sex, but they don't act like bimbos. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not. Because right now, our titular 'Power Bimbo' isn't one. She's just Twilight with exaggerated proportions, which, doesn't come across. We're TOLD that her proportions have been increased to Bimbo 1.0 standards, but if you omitted that bit and changed things around a bit, it wouldn't change much.
All of this said, I really do like this story and want to see more of it, I just feel like it could be better.