I think far, far too hard about things. These things include magical ponies.
Sunset is feeling a bit uprooted facing the changes that come with graduation, so she and her friends set off on a road trip to make this last summer one to remember. And New Mexicolt seems the perfect place. Art, history, and natural beauty abound. But strange auroras haunt the skies, and there are reports of UFOs.
Really, the state motto is The Land of Enchantment. They should have seen this coming.
Written for the Sunset Shipping Contest: Journeys
Page generated in 0.081 seconds
Total duration
877 users online
1,130,041 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Okay, this already seems pretty neat. Aside from the sheer adorableness of Sunlight, I'm intrigued by how Rarity seems to be into Sunlight as well. Love Triangle? OT3? It certainly seems like she might be able to fit right in.
And now we have aliens in the mix as well. What more could a guy ask for?
Also, what are the Maiar in this setting? Old fabled wizards? Angels? Given the mention of Rohirrim I can't help wondering what other Middle Earth references exist.
9157466
Glad you’re enjoying it :) Maiar in context translated to Angel. This Equestria Girls world isn’t the future of Lord of the Rings exactly, but Equestria isn’t the only thing it’s mirroring. There’s definitely other bits like that scattered about.
9157606
Neat! Does Rarity consider her other form an angel, then?
9157620
Not especially. She thinks they’re Harmonic, but she saves the Maiar distinction for the more ‘ascendent’ transformations like Sunset and Twilight. And she doesn’t know WHAT is going on with music turning them into horses. Twilight and Sunset think it has to do with Rohiric religion and bardic traditions, they’re looking into it.
Speaking of religion, it’s like Oversaturated in that it’s very private, and that the ‘cutie mark’ icons everyone has come from a personal revelation. Since it’s such a common experience you can get them made pretty cheaply.
9157670
...Okay now I want to know more about this religion.
I see you are a Tolkien nerd. This pleases me greatly. Though, if Daydream Shimmer was a Maiar, that would make Midnight Sparkle the equivalent of Saruman, right? Desire for knowledge, disregard for the rules... Holy Faust on a pogo stick, that makes too much sense.
9157685
I'm sure it will eventually come up, I've definitely got ideas.
9159557
Yep! Glad you appreciate the nerdiness. I figure there's no reason for EQG to only be mirroring one world, and clearly some culture in the past revered horses, and they've got the whole bardic magic thing going on...it just seemed to fit too well.
And if Twilight ever gets a light side transformation it's like if Saruman hadn't rejected redemption. Personally I'd call her Midnight Star, Polaris for short. Guiding light in the darkness and all that.
So just to be silly: Twilight is Saruman and Fluttershy is obviously Radagast. Dash is Gandalf, since she's really good at rallying and inspiring people and has the speed of Shadowfax. She's also the only one who stays completely Loyal to her mission. We don't know much about the other wizards, but strength and shields go well with huntsmen so we have Applejack and Rarity. And they were only both in Middle Earth because they were best friends, if you ship that way. That...works much better than I expected it too actually. Pinkie Pie and Sunset clearly mean that the situation was bad enough that they needed more wizards in this world.
"She scritched it's head, and it somehow convinced it to roll"
"She scritched its head, and somehow convinced it to roll"?
"emphatically and putting a hand on your shoulder"
"emphatically and put a hand on her shoulder"?
Well damm, this story has me on the edge of my seat, can’t wait for the next chapter
Well, that escalated quickly and then ended abruptly. Heck of a fun ride so far. So, if that Sunset is from the pod people's dimension, what about the human Sunset?
9162928
Wordcounts... you’re definitely not wrong. I’m honestly not quite happy with the end either but to do it properly would have taken another chapter.
One thing I would fix is to make it more obvious that ‘Arachnia’ actually is human Sunset, and that’s why she was giving everything comic book names.
9163091
If that was human Sunset....what was she doing, trying to invade with forces from another world she conquered?
9163357
Nope. Saving some details in case I want to clean this up/do a sequel but in general the fact that she was trying to get guns from pedestria should show she's not really in charge over there. The fact that her spaceships translated to a motley bunch of old cars in this dimension rather than, say, fighter jets, should also be a good indicator. She did take over the podlings though.
Podlings are, on the whole, much less effective than changelings. Which is saying something.
9163379
Ohh. Okay, I get it.
Also, this was a cute story. Good work. Hope things work out well between Sunset, Twilight, and Rarity.
9163381
Glad you liked it. I hope things turn out well for them too. They've definitely got some things to work out, but I think they're in a good place to go forward.
9163425
Yay!
"us when all get captured or something"
"us when we all get captured or something"?
"You do have knack for making a metaphor literal"
"You do have a knack for making a metaphor literal"?
"wasn't much change of anyone else getting"
"wasn't much chance of anyone else getting"?
"It wasn't helpful as it might have been"
"It wasn't as helpful as it might have been"?
"She said she was being selfish."
Didn't she say she'd be being selfish if she did say what it was?
"Reassured, to began to reconnect a set of cables"
"Reassured, she began to reconnect a set of cables"?
"and the Rainboom's van just couldn't"
"and the Rainbooms' van just couldn't"?
"The next chapter was, sadly, several hours late."
Ah, sorry about that.
"and what you say when some asks if you are a god"
"and what you say when someone asks if you are a god"?
"proceeding admirably though your 'internet' enticements"
"proceeding admirably through your 'internet' enticements"?
"She nodded dimly, trying to the throw up."
"She nodded dimly, trying not to throw up."?
"Besides, it's not like that thing works. Remember what they said about the dimension shift? It's a prop."
What is Dash talking about here?
"they all flinched as she draw a small handgun"
"they all flinched as she drew a small handgun"?
"Rarity continue, walking forward with"
"Rarity continued, walking forward with"?
"delights I could be introducing you too."
"delights I could be introducing you to."?
"tossed to Twilight who caught it reflexively"
"tossed it to Twilight who caught it reflexively"?
"just as the soldier were ducking"
"just as the soldiers were ducking"?
"they carried a large devise she did not like"
"they carried a large device she did not like"?
Why did they have to steal a car? What happened to their van? How did they get here in the first place? Is this something that got compressed out by the wordcount?
Oh, or did they just take one of the cars there for speed?
"We'll sit down take stock, and"
"We'll sit down and take stock, and"?
"Applejack crossed her her arms"
"Applejack crossed her arms"?
"said Sunset with mad grin"
"said Sunset with a mad grin"?
"and it's light cast flickering shadows"
"and its light cast flickering shadows"?
"but she manged to reach out and clasp"
"but she managed to reach out and clasp"?
"And Rarity felt that, despite the pain and the disaster of the evening, that it was entirely"
"And Rarity felt, despite the pain and the disaster of the evening, that it was entirely"?
9164542
Dash was actually paying attention to expostion-bot, and how the guns became ray guns on the other side. She correctly thought a ray gun would be a pistol on this one, but didn't know that Arachnea has a way around that.
Devise wasn't a typo, it's a distinction I've seen used to specify you're talking about magical pseudo-technology. Twilight's magic detector is a device, her magic trap was a devise.
They took the car for speed. They weren't even sure the van would be able to fly, transmogrification or not. It really is a rustbucket.
Thank you for the editing :) Minor changes made for clarity.
9164492
Sunset was summarizing. Thanks again!
9164605
Ah, thanks.
edit:
Oh, and you're welcome again, though I happened to read and reply to this one first. :)
9164604
"Dash was actually paying attention to expostion-bot, and how the guns became ray guns on the other side. She correctly thought a ray gun would be a gun on this side, but didn't know that Arachnea has a way around that."
Ahh, thanks.
"Devise wasn't a typo, it's a distinction I've seen used to specify you're talking about magical pseudo-technology."
...Huh. Interesting; I don't believe I've run across that before.
...Also, looking back, I'm glad it wasn't an error, because I appear to have "caught" only one out of four occurrences in that chapter.
"They took the car for speed. They weren't even sure the van would be able to fly, transmogrification or not. It really is a rustbucket."
Thanks!
"Thank you for the editing :)"
And you're welcome. :)
But on the plus side, the King of Denmark will give you your very own island. And you get to ride a moose everywhere you go! Just remember to take regular bathroom breaks, no matter how good the party is.
9160366
I basically never comment on this site but I am compelled to break my silence to assert that Sunset in this comparison must, like Twiruman, be a Maiar of Aule, maybe even a reformed!Sauron; whence her hair like the lava flows of the Sammath Naur.
Pinkie Pie is the firstborn daughter of Tulkas, "...and Arda was filled with the sound of his laughter".
YES! A Scooby Doo reference. Now if only Twilight had brought Spike.
Kinda feels like you had to rush this final chapter. I mean, this? You can't just leave us with this.
This was a serious ride, though. :D
Every time I see Santa Tabitha in this story, I mentally replace it with Rarity's VA. I don't know if the similarity was intentional or not, if it had any significance beyond being the name of a city, but I Want To Believe!
9590072
If I need a saint named city like Santa Fe or San Francisco I pick a voice actor, and I started with Tabitha because she has San Germain right in her name.
Santa Tabitha
The Tycho bit was nice too
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, Human Sunset found/created a portal to a sci-fi world, somehow took up leadership of a bunch of techno-changeling (chargelings, perhaps?) and was planning to use them to take over the world? Or the other world? And they had a device to turn the real-world things into sci-fi world things... I think? Or did Sci-Twi come up with that? Or did she adapt it? And it turns the UFO statue into an actual UFO. And also Human Sunset had psychic powers... somehow?
I apologize if I'm either completely off-the-mark or restating the obvious but... I straight up had no idea what was going on in this climax on my first readthrough and only have a tenuous grip on it now. I agree with the sentiment that it felt very rushed and could do with a lot more explanation. Especially since there was so little in the way of wrap-up.
Still, I do like the story overall, particularly how you wove the adventure and character stuff into one another in the first couple of chapters. Like I said, I think the climax could use a fair bit of work, but it wasn't enough to ruin the story by a long shot.
Fun little story, definitely not worth taking too seriously, which is fine, it's fun. Oh, and it reminds me of this Jolly Jack cartoon:
https://www.deviantart.com/jollyjack/art/Clean-up-794008515
I am simultaneously impressed and infuriated by Santa Tabitha.
"Sunset? You're, uh, neighing to yourself."
"I figured you wouldn't want me to disparage your horribly mismanaged universe in a language you understood."
This is an amazing line.
Wait a second...
Holy crap. The EqG world as a far-future Middle-Earth? I've never seen that idea before and I immediately love it. (And hey, how often did Tolkien spell out skin color?
)
"But we didn't bring Spike."
"We'll just have to make do."
I don't usually comment partway through stories, but this all deserved further highlighting.
This, of course, only further convinced the other campers that they were MIB spooks.
Or a couple cubic meters of obsidian and a pocket lighter.
"We are from Prance."
The question, of course, is how he knows.
Awesome stuff, though regrettably stymied by the contest's word limit. Are the Elemental transformations the standard pony-up or something more?
In any case, thanks for a fantastic read, curtailed though it may be.
... Oh, there's a sequel! Onwards!
9749320
Hehehehe...yeah, Spike really should have been there but I was already having trouble juggling seven characters.
Santa Tabitha, sorry but with cities named for Saints I just can't help myself!
If it's not the far future of Middle Earth, at a minimum it's ancient past mirrors it like it's present mirrors Equestria. I needed some excuse for the horse names and, well, here we are. But, as you say, Tolkein very rarely specifies skin color so Chromelanin could still easily be a thing :p
I love the idea of Sunset swearing to herself in Equish, wish I'd included that now.
9749343
Yeah, I have Ponying Up being them to an extent embodying their element. So basically Dash gets a big power surge when she's all set to rescue her friend damn the odds, and Rarity gets one when she's trying to sacrifice herself to save them. And so on.
I actually have a whole semi-coherent system in my head for how EQG magic works, combining bardic style magic with pseudo-cutie-marks and harmonic alignment. But that's quite a tangent XD
And yeah, if I ever get enough time I'd rewrite the ending almost completely. The original draft had them meeting Human Sunset and some ordinary interaction with Lings and cultists before everything hit the fan. Also HumanSet had a pet 'mountain lion' (on this side of her portal) named Diogenes.
You can has review!