I'm the guy with the moving profile pic.
The girls find some hidden fanfiction written by Rarity detailing a hot date between herself and Sunset. Goaded into a high stakes bet by the others, Sunset agrees to follow the fanfiction’s “instructions” for the perfect date.
She probably should have read how it ended first before agreeing to it.
Written for Oroboro’s Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fantastic story but Twilight's got some serious explaining to do later...
Amazing, simply amazing.
I have no other words.
I did't really care for Twilight's dubious behavior or the part at the end; it ruined my inmersion as it threw the tone toward cold self serving frivolousness on the parts of Twilight and Cadance.
liked the other parts
it would have been better if it was all twilight removing cadence from the picture would have made twilight look better here it looks like she just wanted to win a bet
8401892
I thought the Cadence twist at the end would add another layer of depth and humor, but I can see what you're getting at.
It's the product/cost of trying to write a complex story in about a week, I suppose.
I'm curious. Why would Sunset's idea of a "Perfect Date"™ involve Rarity breaking up with her?
Thank for sharing your story.
8402553
Not to dodge the question, but I did leave that part open to interpretation for a reason. Why do you think Sunset's version would have Rarity break up with her?
Theory on why the story written by 'Sunset' ends with a breakup: it goes back to Sunset's exile by Celestia. She had a studious life in Equestria, one that was meant to mean something and that had a lot of potential -- and she threw it away. It all ended wrong, and she's not gone back.
The breakup, then, is her way of ending something on the right foot for once. Sunset still can't quite believe her luck in finding friends in a place she had done so much harm, and so (going back to her previous experience) she believes it's destined to end eventually. (A reasonable concern for a teenager, actually.) As such, the story is her way of ending her relationship with Rarity in the absolute best possible way, after a date where everything went as perfectly as possible.
8402738
I figured as much.
I suppose a hypothetical Sunset might do it as a form of self-punishment for her past misdeeds.
The romance part is fine, but the other girls come across as utter scumbags in this. You don't toy with peoples' emotions if you actually are their friend.
Ang istorya nindot kaayo! Ganahan ko sa pagpalambo sa kinaiya ug ang paagi sa imong pagbalhin tali sa mga talan-awon! Ang imong paghulagway nakapalipay kanako ug nanghinaut nga maayo ka! Siguroha nga wala nimo ibutang ang sarsa sa labada!
Missing a comma after Dash.
That's not a generous tip, that's a standard tip. 25% would be generous. Of course, since we don't know what Sunny does to support herself in this 'verse, I'm mainly nitpicking just to be ornery.
Nice story! Though clearly, Rarity is breaking up with Sunset because fictional Rarity thinks Sunset is in love with someone else, and couldn't bear to be the one standing in the way, and none of them have heard of polyamory.
8448300
I did consider writing an ending where Twilight shows up at Rarity's house as Sunset's secret love interest, but alas, time constraints and creative direction led me away from that particular scenario.
How is it fanfiction if she's writing about it in the same reality...?
8479221
I was using the term "fanfiction" in the broader context of creating a fictional story using "real" people that are idealized. The Perfect Date is essentially like one of those One Direction self-insert fanfics littering the internet. In this situation, The Perfect Date idealizes Sunset and places her in a "fictional" setting outside that of their own reality.
Like if I wrote a story where me and my real life friends made out, most people would consider that fanfiction, I think. It's not the most ideal label, but it fits.
An interesting read, but between Twilight's manipulation and the girls playing keep-away with Sunset's copy of the story, this didn't quote feel right. I think part of the problem is that we never got to know just how Cadence got Twilight to go along with this. That information could've gone a long way towards explaining such strange behavior.
Still, the romance was enjoyable, even if the side characters felt off.
8734364
Thanks for leaving a comment on two of my stories.
The next time I write romance, I'll try to leave the sociopathy out of it. Not the best combination in hindsight.
8480652
I actually did this a couple of times in high school. One of my female friends even had me specifically write a "lime fic" about her and me (being less explicit than a "lemon fic"). The story is lost to the sands of time, though.
Nice story, still think Twilight's a bitch.
And then, ten minutes later, Sunset and Rarity burned the Sparkle house to the ground...
I wish there was an aftermath chp to this, I would love to see Rarity and Sunset confront Twilight about the supposed prank she pulled on them, only to get the real truth and punish both Cadence and Twilight for it.
If it's ok with you, I would like to write a aftermath scenario of this story, a short little romance comedy
10381308
I'd be honored, man. Go for it.
10388975
Thanks I already started it, I just need to get everything headed in the right direction
That's just creepy
nice work
Well, I admit that that surprised me. I was expecting something like Rarity always knowing about the bet and just helping troll Sunset, but Cadence being the real mastermind was, well, it blew my mind.
Also, excellent fic, very entertaining