*Note: Takes place after season two, but before season three.*
The main six have very complicated lives. On top of their everyday tasks, and dealing with the problems of living in a town near The Everfree Forest, they also have the weight of the world on their shoulders. This can cause a lot of problems and stress for the main six, each one having their own ways to cope.
Now with a sequel! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/473891/fake-smiles-fluttershys-lament
Applejack has her farm and family, Fluttershy has her animals, Rainbow Dash has her clouds, Twilight has her work, and Rarity has her dresses. But Pinkie?
Pinkie chose alcohol.
Chapters (1)
You might want to add the Narcotics tag since they talk about drinking a lot.
I'd love to see how that Pie family showdown turns out!
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Fair.
Ok, now I want a sequel. This was really good.
This was
pretty good.
A sequel would be kinda cool
Nice. The concept I feel is kinda overdone, but I like the way you handled it. I shall give you a like and be on my way.
I think everyone wants a sequel.
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I promised myself I wouldn’t write any sequels/prequels to any of my one shot/one chapter stories until they got featured, got a reading on YouTube, or were just popular. It’s not out of any desire to be popular or well known, though that would be nice. It’s more along the lines of I’m very insecure about my writing skills, even today I re read my stuff and find errors that have yet to be corrected, however minor they are. So I like some kind of proof that people genuinely like my stuff, so, maybe one day.
Though if I were to write a sequel to this story, which I have been thinking about how I would do. It wouldn’t take place after this, they’d both be prequels. One would be about Rainbow Dash, and the other about Fluttershy. And I was also thinking about doing one for Twilight, since she clearly has some issues. After those, I would write a chapter about the whole Pie family thing, then likely one about Rainbow’s family and about Fluttershy’s. Not about Twilights though, she doesn’t really have any issues with hers.
Though it’s unlikely I’d actually write these. If someone else would like to write these instead, I would be perfectly okay with that. As long as said person emails me about it and give proper credits in the story.
This was another sweet story, but where did you get the idea of Pinkie's family being so nasty to her when they seemed pretty nice in the episodes we've seen them?
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A few other fanfics I’ve read have taken the idea of Pinkie having an abusive family life, it’s just an idea I decided to use.
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Got it.
Oh... Um... I never told you that... Did Dashie tell you?
...
Sorry you had to hear that...
Your review.
Good- no, great read.
I would read things like this more often if I could find more well written ones like this
Very powerful. Actually no, what it is, is very honest. As a recovering alcoholic and a sufferer of depression, I can attest that the struggle never ends. This was obviously written from a position of experience and it shows. Well done.
This really works using Pinkie and Rainbow Dash.
I feel like I relate to this more than I should.
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Glad I wrote it realistically enough to where people can relate to it.
Wow, you made me see Pinkie and what she does in a new light... which I never thought I'd do. Nice work on this.. I couldn't stop reading. Upvote from me!
I gotta say you have shattered my mask and now...
I'm crying through the cracks! Great job at making this!
Really gives another perspective on Pinkie.
To quote the tragic clown of Seinfeld fame, "La commedia è finita!"
This really reminds me of my friend Sketch and I
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I wrote this based off IRL experiences and the best writing I could manage at the time, so at the very least I want this story to be realistic.
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I try to do the same with mine
Ouch. It's hard to imaging Maud being like that. I don't know if your intent is to subvert everything in your version of Equestria into a crapsack universe, or if Pinks is talking about stuff that happened before Maud became so protective. (Normally I think Maud is a super super cool pony.) ANyway, thanks for writing.
Oh man, you know just how to hurt a recovering alcoholic.
There was some things to work on. A little capitalization and punctuation in odd places, some weirdness with tenses near the end.
A little bit where "show not tell" could have helped a tad, but you generally did pretty well with that.
The main thing that stuck out was that Pinkie was drinking this alcohol, that was supposed to be severely alcoholic, get a normal pony fucked up with a quarter of a bottle, and she wasn't even tipsy. She wasn't even reacting to the drink. Not a shake of the head or a wrinkle of the nose.
Maybe I was just weird but that seems off to me.
THAT SAID
As soon As Rainbow grabbed the bottle and sat next to her? That onwards melted my heart. That was so we'll written, and I just... Gah!
Seemed a bit too depressing, but I really like how you ended it, abd then just throwing in a cheesy cupcakes joke. It was so out of place. I loved it.
Good story, PI.
Stunningly mature and emotional take on a confrontation between friends.
Seeing Pinkie portrayed as someone who forcefully smiles to keep up everyone else around her happy and to feel some level of self worth is actually really relatable. I didn't think that RD would be a good pick for this type of convo but I'm glad I was proven wrong, she worked out perfectly for the role you gave her in the story.
Also, I may have cheated and whilst reading, I was Listening to gypsy bard and it just elevated the experience personally.
Pacing is a bit off at the start. Although you're very keen on physically portraying emotion (Which is laudable!), the alcohol didn't really seem to play any form of impact on Pinkie.
Everything regarding RD confronting Pinkie and Flutters was pure gold.
An enjoyable read for sure! Bravo!
This is a really cool take and charming read mostly, there's a lot to love about this fic. It's just there's one big gripe I have about it that is preventing me from being fully on board, and its something I think could be potentially harmful to put out in the world. And I know you said in the beginning that you favor realism and that the actions of the characters are not necessarily things you condone but hear me out on this specific thing anyway. It's not about the drinking.
When Rainbow Dash is talking about how she reacted to Fluttershy's depression, how she hit her and got mad at her, I understand where you're coming from in how that's meant in good faith, but a reaction like that can be EXTREMELY harmful. As you probably already know considering everything you addressed here, depression isn't something you can just turn off and nor is suicidal ideation. Having someone get mad at you for it, to blame you or tell you that those already difficult feelings and desires of yours will jeopardize your friendship, is in most cases just making things harder for them. And don't get me wrong, anger is a plenty normal and common reaction for something so shocking and/or scary, but that being said it is NOT a reason to take that anger out on the individual.
For what its worth, I can totally see Rainbow Dash reacting the way you depicted, especially while she was younger. And I know you've said that you value the realism of the fic, that's fine. The specific problem I have with this fic is that it was not at all regarded as an unhealthy or harmful reaction, and Pinkie even seemed comforted by it. What I would have loved to see is something like Rainbow looking back at the memory with pain/regret. It could emphasize the contrast between how she initially reacted to Fluttershy and how she now chooses to react to Pinkie Pie. Or just knowing that she apologized at the very least would be fine. You can do research for more healthy reactions and clarity around this. I don't really want to be the one that gives you an uninvited essay about it.
Also I acknowledge that maybe the fic means too much to you to change it, or that maybe its too late to make that change, but however you feel about it I think it would be great if you would at least put an obvious authors note somewhere addressing it.
Anyway, otherwise awesome fic!!
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First off, thanks so much for the praise and detail in this comment. It means more than I could ever articulate into words.
When I wrote this, my writing skills were not the worst, but not as good as I like to believe I have become. And while I have wrote a sequel to this, I honestly regret doing so since I felt like I was writing it just to write it at that point. Sometimes, I feel like this is the peak of what I’ve written and I can’t do better.
In every regard with the rainbow dash scene, you are absolutely right. I should have made her express some form of regret or guilt, even if her actions influenced Fluttershy trying to get better, that is one of the worst responses to something like that someone could make. Pinkie being comforted by the action wasn’t exactly a good response either. I could have handled it better, and I certainly should have. Your essays are not uninvited, and I appreciate people pointing out where I messed up and how I can improve. I can’t learn from my mistakes if I don’t know I made them.
That was a good story.