After waking up alone and trapped in Equestria, I found myself treated with noticeable caution by its inhabitants. Not that I blame them; I am a predator species after all, but that still doesn’t make it easy. Will I ever find my place in this world? Turns out I may not be so alone in my struggle for acceptance. Following Luna’s return, the bat-ponies are also faced with adversity and although most ponies see their return as ultimately positive, it only takes a couple bad apples to spoil the bunch. We are all individuals, with strengths and weaknesses and should treat each other as such. Unfortunately, not everypony sees it that way and although it’s natural to group yourself (and others) together, it’s still ultimately harmful.
Cover art by byDaliaPamela on DeviantArt
Okay, I liked this. It was short, but I read why. It does leave one wanting more, though, so a sequel would be nice. I would like to see where this could possibly lead.
9136359
I would probably enjoy a short sequel.
9136359
I am pleased to say I am indeed working on a sequel. :)
9141461
I will look forward to it! Thanks!
This is a great story. Unique and very well done. My only issue was that it felt incomplete, but since I see you have a sequel for it out, Im OK with that.
Also great artwork, but why is the human cowering on the ground?
The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller
9435401
Yeah. Like I said, I had an extremely limited number of words to work with. Even with all my trimming, I had just 9 words to spare (3991/4000). But that's what sequels are for right? A story to finish what another started.
Seems like he probably shouldn't be there if everyone is going to shit on him and use him for manual labor for nit being the "correct species".
So... she's supposed to be a friend? I'm not seeing it. It just looks like she sat in his room to call him a bitch for trying to be nice, even after they had an an agreement to get him what he was missing in his diet. To be honest the story feels depressingly incomplete, lacking in resolution and leaving with the protagonist alone and miserable.
9442073
As the Author’s Note says, I had a limit of just 4000 words to do this and only just barely scraped by as it is. Plus I had to trim this down from like 8K or more. (I forget what the original draft was). The point is, even with resorting to literally trimming a single word here and there by the end of the editing, I only just came under the limit, leaving exactly NO ROOM for further story. However, some themes DO need expanding on, you’re right, hence why a sequel is being written.
Pore human can’t catch a break
Love your interpretation of Luna
That....that is oddly correct! Is it strange I now want to strap a chair to a rocket and strap myself to it as it travels to the moon and back just so I can say "I rode a rocket to the moon and back. What's your excuse?"
9450790
Thank you :)
9455254
Haha. Totally. We humans love a good challenge!
Something small and quick for a prompt? Not bad at all. It was an enjoyable read.
ok seriously, all of these stories piss me off. why the fk do people keep making stories where humans can't survive without meat? I mean like really dude? even IF we could not get the protien needed from mushrooms, beans, lentinals, and other such sources. Even IF the 2 specific types of proteins those plants lacked would leave us with degrading muscles and the like if we didn't get them. we could still easily subsist on eggs, milk, and milk products. stories like these with 'meat-eating' humans incapable of surviving without are lazy and poorly written for the simple fact they don't take into account logic and reality. I can at least somewhat respect the ones who make it so that its the taste of meat that causes people to go after it, but even then, is a steak really that much better than lobster or crab all nice and buttered up? it truly bothers me how authors just make humans in these seem like they can't control themselves in a mindless drive to get meat. like equestria has been established to at least have all the animal byproducts plus fish being eaten.... sure its not the best tasting everything but plenty of people IRL dont eat red meat and are plenty fine.
I would request a audiance with a Princess after that shift. That behavior is unacceptable for a high Ranking officer !
I would totaly go for the Luna Guard
Just 3 chapters
But it started so good...
9648060
Sequel story here.
9660660
Thanks
9689727
Yeah I had to keep a fast pace because of the word count. I had no room for any more detail
9690713
you where trying to keep it under 4k word? (i dont understand why you would want a low word count)
9760888
As stated in the author’s notes, this was written for a contest run by Scribbler, open to the people who attended her writing workshop at bronycon2018. One of the rules was the 4K limit.
9763429
completely missed that, still enjoyed it tho
😒...Really?
I know I shouldn't say this, but...
I ship it heeheehee
Oh, I definitely ship it.
9629773
You are actually incorrect, technically you could probably survive but you would be incredibly unhealthy. Humans, in case you didn’t know can’t produce all the proteins themselves. So they have to get them from outside sources. Before you say it, no plants do not have all the essential proteins, meat does. Just as a diet comprised entirely of meat is unhealthy, so to is a diet entirely plant based.
Oh and sorry for the bad grammar.
10025835
You're absolutely correct they would not be 100% healthy if they did not eat meat or meat products.....
Except I specifically stated you need to eat meat products like dairy and eggs to be healthy. So again your wrong You don't need to eat meat directly to get those essential proteins just cheese, milk, eggs and other such things. Heck you could even eat fish which again is not the Red meat the author exclaimed as so important and that I stated has been eaten by Equestrians.
You are acting ignorant with a confirmation bias good sir. my complaint is both legitimate and with good reasoning.
Interesting why he's in the guard.
Good thing our guy is on the stronger mental side of normie. Dealing with prejudice is rather difficult, and not everyone has the fortitude to stiff-lip it.
The beginning of a beautiful relationship.
10025923
Where did the author make these claims? We think you're unfairly projecting...
10274289
Let’s hope so! You’ll have to read the sequel to find out.
And thank you for all the previous comments. Makes my day when I get a stack like that at once.
10274382
😘
Wow! this is an awesome story! I really enjoy it! Nice work!
10025835
What bad grammar?
Has anyone else noticed that the night guard is just as hostile as the day guard until he mentions he eats meat?
10647285
I usually suck at spelling and such. I can never tell if I messed something up. I’m a bit self conscious on that, so I’ll often preemptively “admit” to it.
Lindo.
10647357
Well they had little knowledge about him and only from others. Take into account how they get treated and it's not an unreasonable assumption.
9629773
You can survive on plants, but you need to know the how to. Do you know exactly what nutrients you need, and what plants give them? It’s a complex task, and without instructions you’re more or less f#cked…
Sequel? Did you say sequel! Yeas!
In terms of feedback, this was short but sweet. Well done!
11613086
I never once said eating pure plants dude stop conflating what I stated. Its called Animal By-products aka Eggs, Milk and milk products like cheese and yogurt. Those provide pretty much all the nutrition that we would get from meat my dude. and Ponies EAT EGGS AND MILK IN CANNON.
I can understand stories that make it so that its uncomfortable which it can be but its not NEEDED. Full Vegan diets are impossible yes but Vegetarien diets are very much doable. Especially if you add on a fish here and there which some stories have Pegasus eating.