This story is a sequel to The Return of the Sun And The Moon
Mysterious mare voice: (encouraging softly) Princess Cadence wake up….You are needed.
Princess Cadence (answering, fighting to wake up) I am trying….I’ve been trying….But I can’t…My eyes don’t want to open…Who needs me? My daughter? My Shining Armor? My Empire and my ponies? Please tell me who needs me?
Mysterious mare voice (mysterious) your student needs you.
Princess Cadence (surprised still fighting to wake up) my student? Blueberry needs me? Why? She’s the daughter of my adopted aunt Princess Celestia….she’s no weak pony…she has more compassion than I do…I taught her everything I know about the Power of the Heart…What more can I do, Blueberry? (Tears running down Cadence cheeks)
Mysterious mare voice (mysterious) that I cannot tell you, Princess…you must find out for yourself…So wake up Princess!
In an abandoned part of the Crystal Palace, a five foot long spectrum colored, oblong energy bubble, floats in mid air. A moment later, it pops and drops a very beautiful 5ft 9in tall curvy pale, light pink Alicorn mare anthro with a moderate violet, moderate rose and pale gold streaked mane and tail to the tile floor. She’s attired in a sleeveless green top of the knee length dress with light gold gladiator sandals on her five toed bare feet. To round out her outfit, she’s wearing her gold princess’s regalia.
The Alicorn mare rubs the sleepiness out of her light purple eyes with her hand. Her first attempt to stand up results in her falling on her backside and discovering she’s a two legged pony, and not a four-legged pony. After the fifth attempt of trying to get to her feet, the Alicorn figures out how to walk. She makes her way through the abandoned hallways of this unrepaired part of the Crystal Palace trying to make it back to the throne room. As she emerges in a large open area of the Palace, she is quickly seized by the Black Opal Internal Security Unit and taken down to the Crystal Palace dungeon.
The synopsis looks... weird. Did you cut and paste it from the actual story or something?
9118569
No not really....I was test a new way to introduce my story.
Having a two characters interact with each other, for any opening.
The description kind of reminds me of a play by play.
Also. Blueberry, daughter of Celestia.
Pff
9387214
thank you
Plus Celestia in my alt. universe has two other foals
Grand princess Aurora Silverlight- oldest daughter
Grand Prince Somnus Silverlight- only son
9388186
Those seem like good names, I could see that be canon'esque.
Blueberry is just such a normal, cute, down to earth name that the contrast is kinda funny.
Good story btw, It's a bit rough around the edges, but it's a neat idea.
If I was to give one tip, it would be to cut back on the characters straight up explaining the exposition. It can be a bit disengaging.
Still, good job.
9388954
thank you for the tip...I am guessing you are talking about Flurry heart description.
believe it or not flurry heart description is long even for me and my editor would agree with you.
Flurry heart is first time I had to use a description from another source.
All my OC characters have short description and it flow with the story.
Because you like Blueberry name, a friend of mine name her for me...Went I first created her I couldn't think of name for her.
Here a little bit of background about her.
Blueberry is youngest daughter of Princess Celestia.
Her magic teacher is Princess Cadance the princess of love.
She works as medic pony and started the Royal Canterlot hospital.
She uses her position to help other ponies.
Do I have to read the previous story (The Return of the Sun and Moon) to understand this?
10424999
Not really, but if want to go ahead.
I try to keep them as separate stories in episodic style.