This story is a sequel to Fizzlepop's Wish
As a new year starts around Equestria, Grubber is settling into his new life in Ponyville, wondering how he can best help out with Fizzlepop's routine around the castle, with some sound advice from the Princess of Friendship's assistant.
Cover art by InuHoshi-To-Darkpen@Deviantart.com.
Page generated in 0.225 seconds
Total duration
1,052 users online
1,514,866 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I just hope it's not one of those click bait fictions... My suggestion is a template of an outline.
9162700
You are aware this is a established story arc series yea? That there are parts to the story that predate this (and hit featured as I remember right)
9162718
So that's what the blue link was for in the beginning at the description?
9162751
Yep, many writers will link back to the previous story. In this ones case it links back many times, I think 3-4 previous stories. Just check the writers story link, you will in many cases see a whole story arc.
Well then, fourth story in the series. And a different POV character this time, it would seem. Great job on the continuity and worldbuilding (the thing about Appleoosa's budding tourism industry). The only minor gripe i found was the mention of a blast furnace ... that's not what you use to maintain armor and weapons, that's what you use to cook steel, I think you meant a forge.
As for where this story could go? Assuming you want to keep it Slice-of-Life it could simply be a more low-key story about Spike and Tempest showing grubber the ways of the Ponyville EUP while also showing the reader about the troupe's daily operations, perhaps with a bit of action here and there as they defend the town from various minor threats, with grubber becoming progressively more helpfull along the way.
A story and a series that I'd very much be happy to see contiued.
9162875
Forge was on the tip of my tongue but it never came to me last night. Thanks.
Is there a good romance story about them that isn't just a one shot? I'm curious about it but I think the only one that interessted me or I even saw, was a one shot.
This feels good. I'm really liking this premise. I'll check out the previous one as well.
I always have trouble writing fluff as well. Share the secret if you figure it out?
Fluff, bro. I have no idea. I never actually aim for fluff. I just let my mind play out the scene. Picture the character(s), roleplay them in my head, and just write as the characters just take over while you watch and listen to them go about their day.
I think one can see my first fic I reluctantly wrote as just a perfect example of not wanting to write, which quickly turns into a thing all its own. To this day I leave it as it was written, unedited and raw.
*shrug*
Fluff just happens, I guess.
Anyways, sounds like Grubber has an actual goal beyond raiding the nearest fridge so good luck!
Glad to see this coming to fruition! Yeah, fluff might be rough, but I'm sure you can pull it off.
so the prologue comes after the first chapter ... i see ... well anyways, I found two little things in this chapter,
the what? either this is missing a 'y' and it should be 'they were all enchanted' or there is a word missing here, either way, as is, it doesn't make much sense
I do belive you mean 'hollowed-out', 'hallowed' means something else entirely, the golden oaks library may have been a nice place to live, but i kinda doubt it was a holy site (especially with equestria's notable lack of religion)
Is Fizzlepop a commissioned officer? Because she'd be entitled to a batman.
But does Fizzy not want Grubber to be her assistant because she's afraid he'd be in the way? Or is it something deeper, like she doesn't want to see him get hurt? What job would she have him do? Just sit around the castle all day where she knows he'd be safe? It might give her piece-of-mind, but it'd make Grubber feel useless, and I don't think she'd want that either.
Yeah ... the map dosn't really care too much if others have a different set of priorities ...
'must have been experiencing'
This story is going places ... not sure where ... and not exactly fast either, but it is going somewhere ... looking forward to seeing where
I like this story showing the elaborate steps and timeline required for building a school.
Never thought I'd feel sorry for this little hedgehog, but I do hope they find a place for him.
Does Tempest have a canon mark? I don't think I've ever seen it.
9181239
No, she doesn't.
Most artists have it as an ice cream sundae (from an earlier generation, I think), or fireworks of some kind, because of her displays in the movie.
Wonder what the friendship problem could be and how can Tempest help as well as Grubber
Okay, Tempest does not trust the table ...
'and sitting down'
there is no reason that should be capitalized
This is more of a stylistic than an actual propblem with grammar. This sentence is getting really long, and I feel this is a good point to cut it off. So just drop the and and the comma and start a new sentence at 'The'.
Calling it. His destiny is mess hall cook. Or "nutrition specialist" or whatever they're called in military-speak.
I'm in the middle of reading but, the role for Grubber is quite obvious: He becomes Maj. Fizzlepop's aide de camp.
While sometimes derided as a useless job for bootlickers in peacetime, ('glorified dog walker' is a common description), it's a job that becomes vital when the balloon goes up. The AdC handles all those little needs that an active commander simply doesn't have time to take care of but that still need to be done, (up to, and including, making sure said commander gets enough to eat).
He could be a chef
Allright, I did not see that coming.
You seem to have had some trouble keeping numerus and tense consistent in this chapter. Specifically:
If a specific part of your sentence has multiple verbs they all need to be in the same tense. In this case you allready have 'popped' so you need to stick to that tense and make that 'blown'
You're talking about his coat and his mane here. Two things. Thus: Plural. 'than they did'
once again, you need to keep your tenses consistent. 'before turning and running' or before he turned and ran' either will work, but keep it consistent.
Now to see how much further this goes ...
With a name like Grub-er, he's gotta be good.
Grubber at the school of friendship? Sounds like fun
A happy ending with some cuteness from a character I hadn't really expected to see it from. Well done!
9190543 Yeah, in retrospect it looks kind of obvious.
9191728
Granny Smith is a little too old to be the lunch lady in this school. :)
Sweet, Grubber gets new friends on top of his new job!
Oh, I'm so glad you added this on. And I think a rouge is the perfect role for him, too.
I need to have a sequel where grabber joins the O&O sessions
9262712
Um, that is precisely what happened here.
9262786
No I meant where he plays o&o. Guess I wasn’t too clear there
9263413
Ah.
I'd need more of a plot than that. That sounds like a side scene by itself. Right now, no plans to continue this series. That could change at anytime, but nothing concrete right now.
9186721
No one likes a grammar nazi
Of course Grubber should be the Head Chef! Another good story in the series. Thanks again for creating and sharing.
9559507
Thanks for reading!
why make grubber a 1 for 1 to spike? you even made him live in a smaller space with fizz when there's so many rooms in the castle...
9891942
It changes in the next story.
man, this just reminds me that spike could be the best chronicler in the series.
didn't see that curve coming.
i had to watch a super cut of his scenes from the movie and yeah... he was basic eating the whole time. that was a good call.
9892068
Thanks for reading!
I'm curious as to why months later, most of the Ponyville E.U.P. are stationed inside of the Castle of Friendship? Not that I have anything wrong with that, but I believe since most of the facilities that they use are located within the lower levels of the tree it seems impractical in the event of an invasion or for an evacuation should the civilians of Ponyville need somewhere to head to for their safety. Considering that one of their lieutenants is a Corps Engineer, wouldn't it be more effective to construct fortifications around the Castle of Friendship such as walls, barracks, armory, etc.?
I can imagine that due to the increased foot traffic Ponyville obviously received due to one of the Princesses living there, that would cover the cost of building such facilities, and that its presence would help boost Ivory Scrolls' approval ratings as the mayor of Ponyville: especially when it can be used to help replace the major dirt roads throughout the town with proper cobblestone which would necessitate and accommodate increased trade routes with local settlements and farmlands since wagon wheels would suffer damage due to the uneven terrain of dirt roads and easily snap apart. It would also be a good opportunity to help increase the appeal of the town as a viable trade partner with other local fiefdoms that live in the region nearest to Ponyville: like the Deer Village of Thicket or the Diamond Dog Kingdom of Dimondia. An alliance made by these fiefdoms with Ponyville would serve to increase the overall wealth, resources, and tradeskills (Dimondia having Miners and Stonemasons that can provide raw Ore and Metal for construction and engineering, and Thicket having access to druidic magics allowing them to regrow sections of their forests which can be used to provide a wide spectrum of goods like Lumber for building, Medicine for healing, and fertile soil for farming): all three regions can pool together and have them be actively called on as allies in the event of a crisis affecting one of them, something that Canterlot had failed to do on multiple occasions as I will get into.
Beyond this, it would also serve to paint an image that Ponyville is someplace that is worth living in, almost transforming what was a small unimportant hamlet located at the base of Canterlot Mountain several years ago into its own sovereign economic powerhouse that welcomes ponies and beings from all walks of life; effectively making it become a new beating heart of Equestria instead of the extremely-isolationist Canterlot that is populated by distant unfeeling Unicorn Nobles that don't seem to care about those of lower class or station. Which is part of the reason why the E.U.P. failed in aiding their former Abyssinian, Griffin, and Hippogriff allies when they were suffering from economic collapse (Griffinstone), invasion by a hostile power (Mount Aris), or both (Abyssinia), it would also showcase how Canterlots' House of Nobles effectively shot themselves in the foot by cutting off funds for both the Royal Guard and The E.U.P. that resulted in them being woefully unprepared in protecting Equestrias' capital during the incursions made by both Chrysalis and the Storm King in recent decades, and how Ponyville is not going to be making those same mistakes ever again.
I mean... a Major in the Castle Guard definitely needs an assistant or a secretary. But it's something you train and study for, not just something you randomly start doing out of the blue.
I've been loving this series since I first found it, and have been bingeing through them all yesterday and today.
But I do have one tiny negative critique.
It's not Princess Ember. Its Dragon Lord Ember.
9909163
...
Why are you the first one to spot that?
Well spotted, thanks.
9909170
Lol no problem! I've had the same thing happen to me.
I really do enjoy your work!
9314903
I prefer the term 'Diction Dictator' than 'grammar nazi'
And remember the capitalization...
9893019
I think miles is specifically focused on the slice of life and emotional bonds rather than the more grandiose world-building that you're talking about.
That being said I'm really liking what you have here in terms of world-building potential, if you haven't already, I would love to see a story that covers this angle on how we go from "we don't want none of yer fancy uni-korn magicks here" to School of Friendship and beyond.