Slowly dipping my toes back into the world of pony to see what happens. | https://en.pronouns.page/@GlissRose
Art for Fanfiction213 stories ·5,170 members
Starswirl the Bearded183 stories ·234 members
Random Promotional Club871 stories ·190 members
Let's Make You Known!3,112 stories ·793 members
Want a Review, Perhaps?189 stories ·47 members
Flash Magnus45 stories ·84 members
Pinkie Pie's Comedy Club35 stories ·7 members
Rainbow Dash finds a book from Celestia and Luna's childhood in the Castle of the Two Sisters, one that details their exploits in pranking. Obviously, she has to give them a try. And drag a few other creatures into her schemes as well.
Cover art created by me in MS Paint.
Page generated in 0.099 seconds
Total duration
630 users online
747,407 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Love the premise. I can see Celestia and Luna writing something like that.
Cant wait for more!
Yes So Funny Please Keep Going I Need More ASAP
This is good! The beginning's a little slow and wordy, but the pace picks up thereafter and works well overall. For a chapter without much dialog, you need to get to the action quickly -- get to the point where Rainbow is doing stuff as soon as possible, and fit in explanation of where and why as you go, and where it makes sense. I'd also suggest that the scene break near the end works well as the actual end of the first chapter, and that you add the following text to the next one. Keep it up!
This would be a good point to start a third chapter, since this one is somewhat long -- once you get into the actual pranking scenes and the humor is keeping the pace up, you can go for longer without a break.
9024965
Thanks for your feedback! While I agree that these chapters are rather long, I’m going to keep it that way in order to not mess up my guidelines for the rest of the story. I have a thing for writing (and occasionally animating) entire stories in my head before even touching my computer, and getting them out into actual words is enough of a struggle. Future stories (of which I have too many planned) will probably have better chapter pacing, but for this one I’m going to keep it more of a test-run thing.
Things I love about this chapter:
1. The panicking scene at the foal mountains!
2. “I’M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!”
3. The whole montage of them teleporting and Starswirl appearing out of nowhere after them! Seriously, I was like “Don’t they know they can’t escape from an all-powerful unicorn wizard? :D”
4. THAT FREAKING. LAST. SENTENCE!! XDXDXD!!!
9042888
I came up with that last sentence more than two weeks ago and wrote it down so I would remember it as soon as I got to this point in the story. I’m glad you like this story so far!
Ooo the plot thickens. Pinkie is such a joy in this!
I’ve enjoy the story but I feel like it’s rushing to fast and losing opportunities for more pranks. Even though it was sweet with this chapter I think you’ve could have added more pranks for the sisters.
9152623
Yeah, it's a bit rushed. The reason was that I originally wanted this chapter to be longer, but it was then pushing well over 4,000 words. There will be an epilogue released (hopefully) in the next few days that will (hopefully) help tie up a few loose ends. Keep in mind that this is my first story here as well. Future stories will (most likely) have better pacing.
Read it, liked it!
Nicely done.
9277734
Thanks! Any parts in particular that you liked? Anything I can improve on?
9277896
Nothing to improve, however I was expecting a second trap after "they" were left alone that would have gotten "him" at the last moment before they left and would have pit the trio against the other trio and started a sequel of prank battles. (Hint hint)
MWAHAHA!
But that's just me, it was a great story that resolved itself fantastically and I'd read a sequel because you've shown it can be done.
9280064
Hmm... Interesting idea. Something may come of it someday.
9280069
I've helped with editing and ideas in the past, no reason to stop now!
I loved this
Is there any possible chance of seeing more pranking adventures?
*gives upvote*
I can't wait to see what happens next