Chapter 236 - The Snow War - Part 1
Winter Time…
Months had passed since that time with Yona, Jimmy, the spirit. All of it. You managed to avoid the overall subject of it thus far, especially with Starlight having been so inquisitive. But even then, nothing else had really happened since that day. Chrysalis has managed to keep to herself, to the point that it was impressive that Twilight had been receiving monthly letters from Shining out of paranoia while Chrysalis was finding it cool and calm as a hermit, always enjoying an occasional visit from you, Diamond, or Scrappy. She wasn't keen on seeing Fluttershy just yet, but you were sure you could come up with something to soften her to the idea.
You’ve managed to avoid trouble with the mane six thus far, just keeping to your schoolwork while doing your best to keep your chaos to either private matters or a not so dangerous little adventure.
Diamond’s sword skills had improved greatly, she really committed to learning how to use a blade so she could adventure at your side. Much to your chagrin, she always seemed willing to go heroing with you, even if you weren’t doing much heroing these days. Ah well, it was better this way, to be honest. You didn’t want to cause any more problems, and the lack of trouble was relaxing, to say the least.
Yep, life was good.
“Okay, team! Listen up! Because I’m only going to say this once: Like, does anypony have a good plan? We’re out of options here.” Diamond said as she slumped into the snow.
Yep, somehow you, the crusaders, your school friends, and Diamond and Silver Spoon had somehow gotten into a three-way snowball war with each other. Team one consisted of Silverstream, Sweetie Belle, Ocellus, and Silver Spoon. The problem with this is that this particular team had three team members with varying degrees of construction skill. As in, they had somehow made a huge tower of a snow fort that was nigh impenetrable.
Team two was Yona, Applebloom, Gallus, and Sandbar. Now, the problem with this team was the same as the first, except their fort was more like an actual snow fort with huge snow walls covering them in a circle.
Then there was you, Scoots, Diamond, and Smolder. Turns out Scoots is the only one with any kind of construction knowledge when it came to snow, and it wasn't really useful in this instance. So you four basically had a rinky dinky little frontal wall, and a trench, which could be plowed through if Yona’s team decided to go on the offensive.
Oddly enough, despite making concessions for her, Cozy didn’t want to play, instead opting to be referee to make sure no flying or magic was used in the war.
“Yeah, I got nothing. Dragons aren’t exactly the best with snow. Y’know, because we breathe fire. Can’t use my wings, so that’s no good. Anon, you couldn’t have picked Yona or something?” Smolder asked, grumbling, knowing you all were sitting ducks.
“C’mon, guys, just because they have better forts than us doesn’t mean they can beat us in an actual fight. Look, let me just take a peek anFSDFSD” The moment you poked your head above the snow wall, you got decked with snowballs by Ocellus’s entire team, sending you backwards into the snow.
“Sorry, Anon! But you shouldn’t have poked your head out!” Silverstream yelled out.
Diamond, in shock that you took so many hits, started barking towards them from behind the wall. “Silver Spoon, you traitor! You hit my Anon!”
“Sorry!” Silver genuinely apologized, yelling from the top of the snow tower. “We’re on different teams! I had to do it!”
Scootaloo sighed, her wings flittering as she began to ponder on the situation. “This is tough. How are we even supposed to get near them without getting hit?”
“No clue. And Gallus and the others haven’t done anything for awhile now, they’re probably planning something. But what?” Smolder said, almost daring to take a peek, but resisting the urge.
Diamond helped you up as she wiped the snow off your face, bitter about the whole situation. “Well, that’s the problem. We can’t take either of them on from here anyway. Their tower is too big, and Applebloom’s team is probably planning something big to take us all out.” Diamond then stomped her hoof in anger. “I didn’t come out here to lose first! Maybe second, but totally not first!”
You slowly stood up, wiping your face to remove the rest of the snow as you began to think. How would you do this? What big brained trope can you think of to let you win the day?
“Anon, do you have a plan?” Diamond asked, giving you a gentle nuzzle.
“Uh… um… er… mmmmmm…” Dammit. “No. Without magic or flight, we’re kinda doomed over here.”
“No kidding, these rules are kinda lame.” Smolder complained, crossing her arms in frustration. “All I’d have to do is breathe on that tower once and they’d all go down.”
“Not like we can even get close without all of them pelting us with snowballs.” You groaned. This sucked, even at a disadvantage, this should have been easy!
“Yeah, every time any of us poke our head out, we keep getting hit! If one of us could throw Anon, then maybe we could knock the tower down.” Scootaloo said
“Are you saying my Anon is hard headed?!” Diamond said, her nostrils flaring with steam as she stomped towards Scootaloo.
“W-what?! N-no! I just mean his head is super hard and durable! That’s all! A good throw could knock down a real tower, that’s how tough he is!” Scootaloo said with a nervous chuckle. “L-look, it isn’t like we can just dig under them and pop up through the top. We’d have to be some sort of diamond dog or… Wait.” Scootaloo’s eyes slowly fell upon Smolder as she began to hatch a plan. “Spike can dig pretty good because of his claws, right? Smolder, what about you? Couldn’t you dig through the snow really easily?”
“I could, but making a deep hole isn’t going to do us any good. They’ll just toss snow at us like one of those buckball baskets.” Smolder said
“No, not a hole. I was thinking we dig right under the tower, then through it. Trust me, I build ramps for my scooter all the time. And if you have a bad foundation, the whole thing will fall apart. We just knock 'em down and ambush them from under the snow. WHAM! They won’t know what hit them!”
“Wow.” Diamond was blown away by that plan. “That could totally work. No flying allowed, right? So they have to fall down. They won’t see it coming. I almost feel bad that we’re going to totally thrash Silver Spoon too.” But then Diamond shrugged. “All’s fair in love and snow wars.”
“Look, I’d hate to be ‘that dragon’, but I can bet that Yona’s team is waiting for something. They haven’t really done anything since they built that fort. Who’s to say they won’t attack us while we’re taking down Ocellus’s team?” Smolder said, sitting down as she pokes her claws through the snow lightly. “It all seems fishy to me.”
“Well, we’ll be deep in the snow thanks to you, Smolder. So if they try anything, we can ambush them too.” Scootaloo said with a nod, sure that the plan would work.
“Yeah, I guess.” Smolder said with a shrug as she smashed her fist into her palm. “Dunno why I even got worried. With me on the team, they won’t know what hit 'em!”
“But what about after we take down Sweetie Belle’s team? Or what if Sweetie's team notices what we're up to? No, we can’t take the chance of a counter attack.” Diamond said, hitting her right foreleg onto her hoof. She looked towards their fort, determined to win at any cost. “We’re gonna need bait. We need somepony to be a distraction so they don’t notice what we’re trying to do.” Diamond then looks at Scootaloo. “Scootaloo, you’re bait.”
“Me?! Why me?!” She asked, astonished. "It was my plan!"
“Well, me and Anon are a team. And Smolder is the one getting us to Sweetie Belle’s snow tower thing. So it has to be you.” Diamond said, nodding to how smart she thought she sounded.
“Well, why can’t you be bait then? Everypony pays attention to you no matter what!” Scootaloo argued
“True, but again, Anon needs me. So that makes you ‘it’.” Diamond retorted.
But you were deep in thought. Bait. Normally, you’d want the glory of a battle like this. But to mess with Sweetie Belle and Ocellus without fear of repercussions? Being a better colt is one thing; thus far, you have managed that. But you knew you could also get away with what you were planning long enough for the rest of your team to knock that tower down. You look towards Diamond, and point to yourself. “I’ll be bait.”
“What?!” Everyone said in surprise.
“Anon! B-but, but, you can’t be bait! You’re my coltfriend, and the hero colt! Hero coltfriends aren't bait!” She said, already pouting.
“...Unless he has a plan. Anon, what’s up, why are you agreeing to be bait?” Scootaloo asked, intrigued as to why you’d volunteer.
“Trust me, guys. I can make sure you guys get where you need to be without anycreature noticing.” You give a coy smirk towards Diamond. “Diamond, look at me, how could anycreature resist my charm?”
“Nocreature can do that!” Diamond said, before making a scowl. “But they better try.”
“Actually, I think I know where this one is going.” Smolder said as she put her claw to her hip and gave you a half lidded look. “You’re gonna make them angry, aren’t you?”
“Close, but I don’t think I’d be able to throw off Silverstream like that. I don’t even think she can be angry. So I got something else in mind. Look, Smolder, just get to digging. Diamond, I need you to smack me.” You lean in close and point to your face. “Right here.”
Diamond nods, and smashes your face with her hoof, sending you onto the ground.
“O-oww! W-what the?! Geez! You didn’t even think about it! You just hit me!” Crap, you were caught off guard. She just smashed your face in without even hesitating.
“W-what?! You said to do that, Anon! You said to trust you! Of course I’m going to do it if you’re telling me to trust you!” Diamond barked. “Why would you tell me to do that if you didn’t want me to do that!?”
“Ngh, I mean, I did. I j-just didn’t get a chance to get ready!” You said, slowly getting up as you rub your face.
“Hmph, then next time tell me you need to get ready first!” Diamond said.
“I-I, I… I mean…” You didn’t even know what to say to that. You probably should have counted or something, fucking christ.
“Well, that happened. Hey, Scootaloo, was Anon always like this?” Smolder asked as she began to dig.
“You mean weird? Yeah, Anon has always been kinda nutty. But I wouldn’t have him any other way. Unless he starts being mean, then I kinda just wanna walk away from him for a while. Otherwise, he can be pretty great.” Scootaloo said as she slowly began to follow Smolder.
“...Anon, why did you ask me to hit you, anyway? What’s your plan?” Diamond asked, unable to fathom the genius of your plan.
“It’s complicated, Diamond. I don’t really have time to explain it. Look, you do what you do best and show them that power, that… Er, well, did this.” You pointed to the hoofmark on your face. “Got it?”
Diamond frowned and slowly brought up her hoof to gently feel the mark she left on your face. “I’m really sorry, Anon, I didn’t mean to hit you that hard.”
“No, no, it’s perfect. It’s gonna sell what I got planned. C’mon, Diamond, don’t worry. Now hurry up, before they start wondering what we’re planning.” You tell her as you give her a gentle kiss on the nose.
She blushed, stunned for a second. She then nodded, looking determined to follow through with your plan. “Alright, I’ll go. But if you mess up, I’m going to ask Mother to dress you up to her standards for a family dinner. And, Anon, that can take literal LITERAL hours. Got it?”
Oh… geez. “E-erm, trust me, I got this.” You sure hope so.
With that, Diamond began to follow Scootaloo and Smolder into the deepening snow tunnel. As for you? It was showtime.
“GYAGH!” You yelled out as you jumped as hard as you could, backwards, as if you took a gigantic hit to your face. You did, but you had to ham it up. “Geez, Diamond! OW! Ow ow ow ow ow!” You yelled out as you brought you hooves to your face as Ocellus’s entire team popped their heads out from above their tower to gaze at you.
Silverstream, despite being your opponent, gasped in fright when you fell backwards and into sight. “Anon! Oh no! He’s hurt! Anon, are you okay!?”
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes as she muttered “Oh, brother.” She then gazed at you, skeptical of what was going on. “Okay, Anon, what happened? What are you planning?”
“Huh? Oh geez! I didn’t know she could hit me that hard!” You said as you looked up at them. “What do you think happened? Diamond let me have it. Geez, she’s stronger than she looks.”
Silver Spoon gave you an awkward look, and narrowed her eyes as she adjusted her glasses. “Wait a second… Something isn’t right. You’re telling me Diamond hit you?” Silver Spoon scoffed. “As if. She’d never hit you. He’s totally lying, guys. I bet he expects us to let him up here so he can sabotage us! Nice try, Anon, but that isn’t going to work. I’m onto you.” Silver then yells out to your dinky snow fort. “It was a good try though!”
“Look really hard at my face.” You said, pointing to where Diamond hit you. “Do you think I’m making this up?”
“Hmmm…” Sweetie peered harder at you, trying to figure out how you managed to get that mark. “It does look pretty real. But I’m with Silver Spoon on this one. Why would Diamond just hit you like that? It doesn’t make any sense.”
You sighed, pretending as if your hand was forced. “Look, all I said was that her butt was like two perfect snowballs put together and then she decked me. I was complimenting her!”
Silverstream tilted her head in confusion. “Would the Hero Colt say something like that?”
Ocellus sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t wish to sound mean, but Anon would say something like that. It does make sense.”
Silver Spoon and Sweetie Belle just looked at each other in astonishment, both letting out a “huh…”
“Yeah, so. I’m just going to go back to my fort now and make up with her. I mean, you guys wouldn’t take advantage of me right now, would you?” You asked, acting timid.
“Oh no no! We would never! Right, guys?” Silverstream said as she looked over at her teammates. “That’d be unfair, right?”
“Oh, no no, we would.” Sweetie said as she prepped her snowball.
“I don’t want to make Diamond mad, but I kinda really wanna win.” Silver Spoon said as she raised her snowball.
“Our odds would increase if we make Anon give up.” Ocellus deduced as she prepared to pepper you with snowballs.
“Well… If everycreature else is okay with it.” Suddenly, there was a crazy glint in Silverstream’s eye as she suddenly gave you a cheerful but scary look. “Then I guess I’m okay with it too! Don’t worry, Anon! I won’t consider this a real loss for you! It’s just a game!”
Oh shit… You thought you could distract them a little longer than that, but it seemed they were all determined to win the war.
“W-wow, so that’s how it is, huh?” You began to pout and make the most pathetic face you could muster. “You all hate me that much?”
Silverstream dropped her snowball as she looked to her teammates in sudden panic. “He thinks we hate him?! Why didn’t any of you tell me that!” She then looks at you and tries to calm you down. “A-Anon! It’s just a game, right?! We didn’t mean to make it look like we hate you! We didn’t, right?” She looked to her team again, with deep worry.
“What?! No, we don’t hate him!” Sweetie Belle said in a slight panic, until it suddenly hit her. “Wait! And Anon wouldn’t normally just think that too! Girls, I think he’s trying to trick us!”
“Or distract us…” Ocellus surmised. “Wait, does he want us to hit him? Looking at their fort, there’s no way they could just ambush us from there. Something is wrong.”
“Then he can’t be trying to distract us. If I know Diamond, she wouldn’t let Anon be bait. Could you imagine? Anon is totally not bait. I think he was totally telling the truth.” Silver Spoon said, coming to her own conclusion.
“Okay then… So is he bait? Or is he telling the truth? I’m so confused, I didn’t know a snow war could be so confusing. When it comes to wars, we hippogriffs just fight with big armies and cool tactics. And if we lose, we just run away! But all this snow war stuff? I just do-” Suddenly, Silverstream stops speaking when she notices a feeling under her talons. “Hey, girls, did you feel that?”
“Feel what?” Sweetie Belle asked?
“No, Silverstream is right. Do you feel that? Something is definitely off.” Ocellus said as she began to look around. “I think I felt something anyway.”
“Anon, are you che- No, he doesn't have his horn on. Woah, wait! Gah! The snow, it's coming apart! Eeek!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as the snow tower fort began to crumble from the center.
“Ack! What’s going o-AHHH!” Silver Spoon could barely get a word out before falling into the crumbling center.
“That’s impossible! I made sure to build this fort toGAH!” Ocellus yelled out as she too fell.
Silverstream just shrugged, and happily dove into the growing hole, feeling that, if her whole team was going to fall in, she might as well too. “I still don’t get it! Wheeee!”
They ended up being buried within their own fort. Then, as you noticed them slowly poking their heads out, you could already see three other spots around them begin to shake about. Those spots had to be where your teammates were coming out for an ambush. You quickly rushed upwards and prepared to attack.
Eventually, Sweetie Belle and her team managed to pop out of the snow, dazed and confused. Sweetie Belle herself just started wiping snow from her head and tried to figure out what just happened. “G-girls? Hello? What happened?”
“I-I don’t know, I don’t underEEEK!” Suddenly, out of nowhere, Diamond and the rest of the team quickly popped out of the snow. With a shriek of “ATTACK!”, they all began to pelt Sweetie’s team's faces with snowballs.
You rushed up to Sweetie herself and turned away from her, just quickly using your hindlegs to kick snow at her as fast as you could. Eventually, after the air filled with shrieks, they were finally calling for a surrender.
Ah, that was pretty excellent, to be honest. With Ocellus’s team defeated, you all decided to be good sports and dig them out of their holes so they could sit out on the sidelines. Ocellus was actually pretty impressed with the strategy used, as she didn’t think in a million years that you and your team would use such advanced tactics. Silverstream was probably the most okay with losing, it was almost like she didn’t realize she lost. Silver Spoon of course wouldn’t let herself be upset in Diamond’s presence, and Diamond herself didn’t act too arrogant about it towards her. And Sweetie Belle, surprisingly, had no hard feelings towards you, and was pretty impressed you could still be so tricky. Well, of course, you have the power of pure ingenuity. E-even if it was Scootaloo’s plan mostly.
“Yes! We did it! That was amazing!” Scootaloo cheered
“Yeah, that was awesome! Good plan, Scootaloo.” Smolder said as she shook her claws to warm them up. “It was really cool. Seriously, my claws are freezing. Kinda surprised Ocellus didn’t figure out what we were up to.”
“Of course you’re surprised.” Diamond said, an arrogant tone in her voice. “My Anon was the one who kept her distracted, remember? He was an awesome distraction! How’d you do it, Anon? You had to have a real silver tongue to be able to trick them all. In fact, I bet you made them believe you were switching sides.”
You shifted your eyes for a moment, as you realized if you told her the truth, she’d probably slap you. But if you didn’t, she’d find out from Silver Spoon. Oh boy, there was no way to avoid this one… “Erm, Uh… I told them I liked your butt.”
“What?!” They all said, looking at you in surprise.
“What do you mean you like my butt?!” Diamond said, embarrassed more than anything else, though you couldn’t tell what exactly she was embarrassed about. Well, you knew somewhat, but you couldn’t tell if it was the butt thing in general or the fact you said she had a nice butt.
“Erm, it was a trick, remember? I, uh, had to distract them.” You said, awkwardly shrugging.
“Oh, right. Wow, that was distracting, no wonder it worked so well.” Diamond said, not knowing if she should be impressed or utterly confused.
“Well, that’s one team down anyway. But what’s up with Applebloom’s team? They still haven’t made a move yet.” Scootaloo said as she looked back at the high walls of Applebloom’s fort.
“Hey, yeah, they have been awfully quiet. I bet they saw what we did to Ocellus’s team and got scared.” Smolder said arrogantly.
“Nah, I don’t think so.” No, that couldn’t be it, Yona wouldn’t be the type to give up. “It’s weird. You’d think they’d have attacked us from behind, or something.”
“Hmmmm. Hey, I got it! Smolder, toss me really high up, okay? Maybe I can see what they’re up to.” Scootaloo said.
“Now that’s a good plan. Alright…” Smolder said, as she began to flex her arms some. “Just let us know if they spot you in the air, okay? I don’t want to go down by some stupid rushdown.”
“Gotcha! Alright, now let me fly!” Scootaloo shouted as Smolder gripped her and chucked her high up as her wings began to flap.
Scootaloo, instead of descending slowly, just began to fall fast. To the point Smolder had to jump to catch her. “GRHGDFG… Ngh, Hey! What gives! It’s not cheating if you flap your wings, remember? You can’t fly!”
But Scootaloo was still silent.
What the hell…?
“Scoots! What’s up, what did you see?!” Holy hell, she looked pale as hell. What the hell happened?
“They’re… T-they’re all down, covered in snow, they’re already down.” Scootaloo said in a chilling tone.
You all looked at each other in worry. Was it a trap? Was it true? You looked upwards, and saw that Cozy was still flying around, presumably monitoring the situation. She would have called you all the winners if they were down.
So what was going on?
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....I could See Yona jumping literally once in joy, and burying them all right at the start.
What's happening?!? Snowball battle mystery! (murder mystery but it's a snowball battle)
Love that this is finally happening. I remember you talking about this from before chapter 100, CL.
11230240
Yeah, I wanted to move on to this and the winter season. For snow fun, some loose ends being tied up, and finally, a chilling start to the end
Missing comma before ‘team’.
three-way (?)
Unnecessary comma.
Lowercase ‘s’ should be uppercase.
'em (?)
Maybe make the first comma a semicolon?
a while (?)
onto (?)
Maybe make the period an ellipsis?
Lowercase ‘r’ should be uppercase.
Missing comma before ‘girls’?
it's
Missing comma after ‘that’?
team's
on (?)
Maybe add another comma before ‘however’?
I could be wrong about some of the above.
11230389
.....dammit. Hein you are both a godsend and a bringer of death
11230999
That is rather funny, since ‘Magere Hein’ is the Dutch name of the Grim Reaper.
That's the most child friendly version of the 'inexplicitly slaughtered soldiers' I've ever read
I'm getting too old if my first things to complain about are safety and Anon going way overboard with the distraction. And taking Ocellus into consideration, can't she feel his emotions and expose his lies, or does that power have a limited range?
No, like seriously, last year kids have died via suffocation under collapsed snow in here.
War tactics