Chapter 165 - 'Jimmy' and the Celestia Equation
You were laying down on your belly on the porch, Diamond at your side. It was late, and after dinner, Scoots and Ocellus went home as Lance took to the guest room. It was good, it was fun, Scootaloo got along with Ocellus really well and really wanted to make the whole big meet up thing happen. Diamond hung by your side the entire time, and apparently what she heard from the other side of the curtain was not what Discord was actually saying. Of course he’d make sure she didn’t hear what he said, she’d rip his throat out in an instant if she did.
She snuggled at your side, looking up at the stars. “You really did good today, Anon. I knew you could beat Lance.”
“Heh, yeah… Really wish I didn’t fly into the oven though. I mean, I could have taken care of the burns myself, Diamond, y’know?” You tell her as you sigh, looking forward.
“Mnnn...” She lets out a low sigh of discontent “It was just a small bandage rip, Anon. Come on, you’re the hero colt! That shouldn’t bother you at all! Especially when our future adventures are gonna be totally thrilling and dangerous. We’re going to get a few scuff marks here and there. But since we’ll have a lot of money to work with, no adventure will be out of our reach. ‘The Hero Colt, Anon!’ and his wife the “Gemcutter’! With magic and swords, all villains will fall before us!” Diamond let out a mischievous little giggle as she cuddled on your side. “What do you think? Pretty awesome, right? I thought Gemcutter would be an awesome hero name. A skilled pony with a blade so sharp, it cuts diamonds.”
“You really been thinking about that, huh?” You say with a chuckle. “It’s not like O&O, Diamond. Bad guys usually mean business and aren’t going to show you any mercy. You have to be willing to use that sword without hesitation. And even then, I don’t think you’d really want to go out and fight bad guys like Tirek. They are really really tough.”
“Anon!” Diamond stops cuddling and looks to you with disdain “I’m not some snooty puff of a rich filly. I mean, I am a rich filly, but I’m not a snooty puff. I’m not gonna be the one to sit at home and be worried you won’t come home after some big adventure. I want to be there with you! Then we can retire when we have our first foal. And I mean retiring as heroes, because I won’t let our foal be fatherless because something happened to his dad. Do you understand?” She said with such forcefulness.
Sheesh! “You’ve reeeaaalllyy been thinking about it, geez. Diamond, look, it’s not like we’re just gonna be going on adventures. I don’t do that, it’s just that it happens. Truthfully, I’d rather not even have to go out on any kind of mission or whatever unless it was important. Everything that has happened with Chrysalis, and the Storm King, and even before all that. It’s a headache.”
“Really? So you’d rather just rest at home and do normal stuff?” Diamond asked, curious.
“Mostly, yeah. I mean, sometimes I want to do something great. But all this hero stuff, and Chrysalis stuff. I just want it to be over with. I want her redeemed, and all this behind me, and just have a time to relax. Every day is pretty much stressful for me.” You explain
“Anon…” Diamond frowned as she began to snuggle as affectionately as she could at your side. “I didn’t know it was like that. B-but thinking about it, I guess you having to run around a lot and deal with all the stuff you deal with would be super stressful. Do you think, erm, that I should stop learning how to fence?”
“Nah, if my life continues the way it usually does, it will probably come in handy sooner or later. You can do what you want really, but just to let you know, I’d prefer if things are quiet for a while.” You say as you return her affections with a nuzzle.
“Hmm” Diamond nods to herself, and looks to the sky with determination. “Well, if anypony does try to do anything bad, I’ll cut them down to size faster than Mother slashing Daddy’s snack budget!”
Oof, that analogy. “Y-yeah. Speaking of, is your Dad gonna be ok? You know, with that whole cake thing?”
“He’ll be fine. Mother probably won’t be too mad at him considering everypony was focused on you.” Diamond said with a yawn as she rested her head on your side. “He’ll be fine”
“Good. I sorta feel that none of this was his fault at all, just a lot of bad luck. Hm? Are you getting tired?” You ask as you gently nuzzle back.
“Yeah… I feel a little sleepy, especially after that pizza. Mnnn, it’s probably time for me to go to bed.” Diamond says sleepily as she adorably cuddles against you.
You chuckle “Not gonna try to stay awake longer so we can hang out?”
“I totally would, but since this isn’t a date or anything, Mother would get upset and probably lecture me. I mean, I’ve snuck out anyway a couple of times, but this time? I think also being so scared and all that training has made me feel extra tired.” Diamond said with another yawn.
“I bet. Come on.” You say as you stand up “Get on my back. I’ll carry you to bed.”
“Really?” Diamond says, gushing at the prospect. “Anon, that’s so romantic.”
“I know.” You say with a cool chuckle “Besides, I’m not gonna let you ache all the way to your room when I can just carry you there. So, c’mon.”
Diamond slowly and gently climbed on your back, gently nuzzling her head against yours as you went back to the manor and took her to her room. As you went up the stairs, she let out a loving sigh. “I can imagine the foals having so much fun doing this. You better not spoil them, Anon” She said with a light giggle.
“Heh, you mean how I’m spoiling you right now?” You ask
“I don’t mind being spoiled by this, just don’t spoil them.” Diamond says as she gives you a very gentle bop before resting her head on yours. “Well… Maybe a little spoiling isn’t bad. Just not too much.”
“Not too much, just enough for them to have a good time before study time. Or something like that, I dunno. Only thing I’m worried about is Dad overspoiling them. I just got this feeling.” You say as you gently open Diamond’s door.
“Well, grandpas tend to do that, Anon. We won’t let him do it all the time. Daddy Discord really listens to me, so I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” Diamond says with a yawn.
Yeah… Sure, he suuuuure does.
You gently lower yourself to let Diamond off as she hops onto bed. “Yeah, I’m sure it won’t.” You put on your horn to gently tuck Diamond into bed with your telekinetic magic. You decide to hop up to the side of the bed to kiss her, but she points to your eyes. “Something wrong?”
“Well, I’m not gonna give you a good night kiss when you're looking all evil and stuff.” She says with a gentle chuckle.
Ah, right, the Sombra effect. You take off your horn and do a nose nuzzle with Diamond before giving her a gentle peck on the muzzle. You look at each other for a while, you don’t know why. Love? It’s probably that. But eventually you say your goodnights, ‘I love yous’, and head off. You thought about saying goodnight to the Riches, but when you went to the study, you could hear them through the door, still discussing what happened with the cake. Welp, screw that. You head over to the kitchen, find the sink, let some water fall, and use your horn to open a portal back to your room.
Though, as you fall onto your bed. You could hear the distinct sound of a song as it ends off on a familiar word. The ending theme to MLP:FIM. Wut?
You look over at the end of the bed and see… What in the fuck? Is that Jimmy “The Gent” Burke? Sitting at the end of your bed? Watching MLP? No, that doesn’t make any sense. Discord? No, why would he do that, especially when he’s never watch-... Wait. “X-Captain? Or XXwhatever, is that you? What in the… What are you doing in my room? Why are you Jimmy?” Ugh, you were both surprised and annoyed. The fuck was he doing?
“Because, that’s my name now. It’s a name that demands respect.” The XX-Captain, or rather, Jimmy said as he stood up, adjusted his suit, and pointed towards you in a calm yet commanding manner. “Now, how about you run along, I’m working.”
Working? “Ugh, look, get out of my room. I really don’t have the patience to deal with you tonight.” Why was he even watching MLP? In fact, it did get you a little curious, but given everything you had to deal with when it came to him, you’d rather he just go away.
“See, Anon, that’s your problem. You forgive Chrysalis, you forgive Discord, you forgive everypony but me. What have I ever done to you to deserve your hatred? Try to eliminate you? So has Chrysalis, and yet you only give her the time of day because she’s a dame.” Jimmy said with a shrug as he shut off the tv with a remote. “And here I was, doing busy work, trying to figure things out behind the scenes. Not only for me, but for you too, I want you to know that.”
Behind the scenes? Busy work? Ugh, and is he trying to justify everything he’s done to you? Well, yeah, Chrysalis HAS tried to kill you a few times, but this guy was irredeemable He… Well, he probably went mad due to all that chaos that was inside him. And to be fair, you did prank the changelings first. Not only did your actions get him turned into a chair, but even Chrysalis slapped him when she had him change into you. Fine, just find out what he wants and kick him out. “Alright then, how about this. I’ll hear you out, and if it isn’t interesting to me, you stay out. Understand?”
“Anon, what’s the matter with you? Do you really not like me that much?” Jimmy said as he went towards the window and gently rubbed his hand along the glass, staring out into the chaotic space as he sighs. “Can’t you show me that you have a heart?”
He had an angle here. But what if he didn’t? What if he did want to become a better changeling like his siblings. It could be he’s simply sick of being in Discord’s house, but… Bah, fuck, he sort of really had a point, doesn’t he? You never really gave him a chance. Once Chrysalis nuked him, you only knew him as a chaotic psychopath. “Alright, alright, fine. Maybe I’m being a bit of a dick. So what is it that you want to tell me, what did you find out?”
“Willing to listen, huh?” Jimmy said as he quickly changed back to his original form, a larger than normal changeling, fierce, though without his armor. He hovered up and landed on the ceiling as he began to pace. “Alright then, so I took it upon myself to annoy Discord enough so that he would give me what I asked for. Namely, this television thing and the episodes of Equestria up to when you first arrived. Knowing what I also know from what has happened thereafter, I think I figured out something that may make you a little angry.”
“Angry?” Ok, so is he still crazy? What could he have possibly figured out from watching the episodes that you didn’t. “Angry how?”
“Angry how?” Jimmy snickered as he shifted his eyes left and right. “Think about it, Anon. All this time, you’ve thought you were the main character in your own story. But that is soooooo wrong. The show started with Twilight, and everything that has ever happened since then, despite her and her friends being so dumb, has revolved around her and them, but mostly her.”
“I mean, the show was centered on the mane six. But even then, you guys had a functioning world regardless of what the show focused on. That’s how things work for stories that are written, even in this world.” You explain.
“Yes, but sometimes ideas come from other dimensions, you know that. And being able to observe Twilight’s life at this point, I noticed that she went from an unfriendly loser to alicorn princess. And usually, although it didn’t always work out exactly as planned, it was Princess Celestia who was guiding her or testing her. The letters, releasing Discord in such a way that his betrayal would lead to the last key needed for rainbow power, Starswirl’s spell, and even now, with her school. I’ve learned so so so much.” Jimmy explains with a flick of his tongue and an evil sneer on his face.
“I mean, yeah, I already knew that. Look, no offense, but are you going to tell me that it seems Twilight is the most important thing to Equestria? Because I’m gonna tell you, living here as long as I have, she isn’t as important as the show led you to believe.” Like really, you redeemed Starlight, and Twilight was totally useless against the Storm King. Sure there was the Pony of Shadows, but eh. Hell, you already had Neighsay handled, so it was safe to say you were the most important thing right now. Heheh, you’re awesome.
“Nope, but to Celestia, Twilight is the most important thing. So important, in fact, that you’d think she’d be completely against you with the curse that is so visible on your legs. Twilight forced to be a target? Why would she let that fly, I wonder?” Jimmy said as he pondered fakely, before looking at you with focused, nearly close lidded eyes. “Unless she’s using the whole thing as a test for Twilight.”
Guh?! “Woah, woah. That’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?” Why did that catch you so off guard? “Celestia pretty much owes me this for going behind my back with your siblings. She knows she did me wrong.”
“Does she know that?” Jimmy said as he landed in front of you, looking deep into your eyes. “She’s lied to you before, used you to turn my kin into… Those things. Celestia isn’t perfect, but I know she is clairvoyant. All it’d take is one little vision to make her think things through and make it appear she’s on your side. What do you think about that? Sounds feasible, no?”
Were you… Were you relenting? It did sound feasible. But then, why did he even care to ‘figure all that out’? “Look, before we get further into it, why do you even care if Celestia is using me or not? What do you get out of this by telling me your theories?”
“Nothing really, I was bored. If I’m going to be stuck here, I need to do something to keep my sanity now that I have it back. Besides, I think I’ve grown a little love for chaos, can you blame me for wanting to see if this is true or not?” Jimmy said
“So… You just want to see me pissed off, is that it?” Goddammit, you knew it!
“Yes and no, I know the protection spell Discord cast long ago is inert so I’d rather not get completely on your bad side. Besides, this is technically me helping you and warning you that you're being used as a pawn. That my dear old queen… Is a pawn to a test.” Jimmy said with a low chuckle.
“If it’s even true. It’s hard to believe considering you’ve been stuck here for a while and all you got to go off is old episodes. Things have changed, it’s not really like how it is in the show.” You explain, despite your small doubt.
“Well, how lucky you have a portal that takes you to the castle. You know, to go and ask Celestia herself.” Jimmy said as he looked over to the door. “You should go ask her right now.”
“And why would I waste my time on that?” You ask with a sigh “It’s late.”
“Better late than never. What do you have to lose? If what I said is true, then you can probably fix whatever Celestia’s test is going to ruin. Besides, I’m curious myself. All this time I thought my old queen was devious, but Celestia? Heheheh, wow. I bet she’s getting ready to make Twilight the princess of Equestria at this point.” Jimmy said, as he began to ponder on the thought. “She hasn’t been nearly as effective as a princess as she used to be, after all. But she is quite evil in her thinking, I love it.”
“Ok, that’s just crazy. Why would she make Twilight the princess of Equestria? Not only is she immortal, but the whole princess-ship thing requires two. As in both Celestia and Luna.” You explain.
“Been awhile since you watched the ‘show’, huh? Celestia ruled Equestria for a thousand years without her sister, and the powers of day and night can be transferred to Twilight. As I said, Princess Celestia, and by extension, Princess Luna, aren’t as effective as they used to be, they can’t defend the kingdom like Twilight can. But, if you’re not willing to ask freely, then how about a wager?” Jimmy offered, plopping his butt down as he awaited your answer.
“Are you serious? What do you even have to offer me? Because, just to let you know, that theory is fucking crazy, it’s not worth me losing sleep over.” Like, fine, Celestia using this as a test is feasible. And you’re willing to confront her over it, because if that is true, then fuck her. But grooming Twilight to her level, that’s dumb.
“Basically, I’ll leave you alone forever. It’ll be as if I never existed. But… If I’m right, I want you to convert the basement into a full library of entertainment. I’m bored, Anon, I need to be right. I spent all day on this!” Suddenly, Jimmy began to look at you with a crazy look as he slowly approached you. “Just agree! It’s not like you can’t do it right now. If you’re right, I’m out of your mane forever, how could you not want that? You are sure you’re right, right?”
You back up, but stare him in the eye inquisitively. “...Pretty sure. But let me make sure, we’re wagering on the Twilight being princess of Equestria thing, right? And not the test thing?”
Jimmy grinned cooly at you. “Does that mean you agree with me that Celestia’s test exists?”
“I’d… Just rather not make a bet on something that’s going to infuriate me to even think about. Which brings me to my next question, how sure are you on the whole ‘Princess of Equestria’ thing?” You ask
He simply blinked before shifting then narrowing his eyes at you “Is this a trick? I was the one who was wagering on that very thing. Unless… Oh, are you actually going to check on it now?”
“Yeah, and I’m totally willing to make a bet on that.” Fuck, man, why did Celestia using this entire situation as a test sound so feasible? That fucking bitch, she really is doing that, isn’t she? Fuck her, you’re gonna go over there and show her she isn’t without fault. If you have to, you’ll slap her around for being such a bitch, she will know your fury. “On the princess thing, I mean.”
“Then…” He puts out his hoof, and glares at you “Let’s shake on it.”
You do, without hesitation. Dammit, fuck, you were not going to let this one slide.
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Oh, this is going to be good. 😈
I really hope that Celestia doesn't pull the same shit she has before in this series or at least not too heavily.
Clairvoyants are a pain to deal with. You can never be sure what their motive is and what their true feelings are regarding a situation.
And the few times they are caught off guard, usually doesn’t end well for most of the people involved.
10301878
Seriously?
You do know who she is, right?
Suddenly Celestia's willingness to take the Chrysalis matters into her own hooves vs now when Twilight is directly involved she stays her hooves makes sense.
Remember how for the longest time I held a grudge against the Celestia in this story?
I still do, mind you, just buried that hatchet under a pile of spite.
Now its been reignited, holy SHIT am I angry at that thought.
I was starting to wonder where the next chapter was, it had been a while. I take a look AND I MISSED THIS BEING POSTED. Oh well.
Yeah, I've been wondering about this. If it were me I believe I would have done away with that effect by now. It's not very "heroic" and seems to be more of a nuisance than anything. I would maybe use a spare horn charge or have Discord do it with the next upgrade.
Regardless, the scene with Diamond was kyoot.
Umm. this guy seems really peaceful right now. He is being kind! like WTF, common sense Anon.