Chapter 171 - Fearful Lies, Even Scarier Truths.
There he was, just calmly sitting at the table. Why was he here?! Seriously?! Oh god, did he notice Jimmy?! Goddammit, how did he even get here?! “C-Chancellor Neighsay?! Ahrm, erm, hello! Er, what are you doing here?”
“Ah, Anon, I see your father finally found you. Hm? Oh, I can assure you I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for the rumors I have been hearing. Come, sit down, I’d rather get our business done as soon as possible.” The Chancellor said as he pointed towards a seat, keeping his eyes open for any oddity that got too close to him. It was already obvious he did not want to be here.
“Er, ok.” Rumors?! Oh god, what has he heard?! “W-what’s up? I mean, did any new information come up that I’m totally not aware of?”
“I’m afraid so, and it makes me wonder if you somehow missed something.” Neighsay says as he carefully pours himself some tea, swatting away a cup of sugar that tried to tip over into his cup. “Ugh! Is nothing here normal?! They could at least show a little respect.” He said, as he began to also swat away a spoon hovering towards his direction.
“Um, sir. I hope I’m not being rude or out of place, but what I meant by my question was that it’s a surprise that you’re here. It doesn’t seem like your style.” Ok, at this point, it was obvious Jimmy hadn't revealed himself to Neighsay. But then, what are these rumors? And how bad do they have to be to get a personal visit from this guy?
“No, it wouldn’t be my ‘style’, but these rumors are not to be ignored, and may be exactly what I was looking for. That alone is enough for me to suffer this place if it means finally making progress on our investigation.” Neighsay says as he takes a sip of his tea, his voice quivering with subtle excitement.
“You keep mentioning rumors. What rumors are you talking about?” You were getting a little scared. These had to be big rumors for this guy to just show up all of a sudden.
“You haven’t noticed? The other princesses' guards have taken up residence in Ponyville. And although they are not garbed in their usual attire, I highly doubt they are there on vacation. Although the information I’ve gathered isn’t concrete, I believe they are there to protect Princess Twilight from… Something. Perhaps the school or residents as well, I’m not exactly sure what their purpose is. You truly haven’t noticed them, Anon? I’m sure you’ve been around the other princesses long enough to recognize their guards.” Neighsay says, narrowing his look towards you slightly, as if suspicious of something.
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! “Oh, uh, yeah, in that sense, I noticed something. But you kinda have me focused on the five nonpony students, so I haven’t really broken my focus from them.”
“Yes, I suppose whatever they might be doing might be enough to take away most of your attention. And yet, you still see them as innocent?” Neighsay says. No malice in his tone, more just disappointment.
“Yeah, so far so good. As far as I can tell, and trust me, I have ways of telling, I’m no fool. But these rumors, the guards and all that, it could be Princess Celestia being paranoid or something. I dunno, we’re about due for a major badguy showing up, don’t you think?” You ask, trying to keep your cool as you ask for some tea.
Neighsay uses his magic to pour you a cup and slides it over as he leans back on his chair, contemplating. “Hm, that could be why she refuses to tell me anything about it. But what do you mean ‘about due’? Is that a joke? You say that as if it's inevitable.”
“Huh? OH, nah, nah. I mean, it just seems some bad guy always shows up eventually. Almost seasonally. From Nightmare Moon to the Pony of Shadows, it's sort of hard to deny there’s, er, an unintended pattern of sorts, probably even before our time, given the Pillars of Old.” Dammit, Anon, don’t go tropey with this guy, you can’t afford a mistake.
“Hm, as ghastly of a thought that may be, there is some truth to it. It is hard to deny that these villains tend to show up rather predictably, if one were to tie a pattern to it. Yes, I suppose in a chaotic way of thinking, that actually makes sense. I see now how you’re able to anticipate things the way you do, and was able to topple the Storm King where even the Princesses and their friends couldn’t. That being said, I think I’ve figured out your next assignment for me. I believe this can finally prove if my suspicions are correct or not.” Neighsay says as his tone began to become more serious, as he leaned closer to you, as if to tell you a secret.
“Prove your suspicions, sir? Er, what does that mean, what is the assignment?” Oh god, what did he want from you now?
“As I remember it, the school counselor, Starlight Glimmer, was once a villain herself. These things go hoof and hoof, you see. And if any of these ‘special’ students have had any villainous tendencies, then I’d like to believe they may have left hints, or outright shared such malicious thoughts with her at some point. I believe the guards might be patrolling Ponyville simply to be ready to cover up Princess Twilight’s mistake. To make it clear, if one of those students decide to unleash their plans, then the guards would be there to stop them before they can execute them. Such a quick play would allow Princess Twilight to cover things up as to not arouse my suspicion. If that didn’t make your assignment clear, then I’ll explain it more simply. I want you to look through Starlight’s records, and bring me the files on those students. It should be easy for you, given your friendship with her.” Neighsay explains to you as he zaps an incoming flower pot. “Away with you! How could you eat here, Anon? This place is literally trying to end somepony, I swear!”
What?! He wanted you to do fucking what now?! He can’t be serious. How were you supposed to get the files to him without Starlight noticing?! Even then, you’re not willing to destroy your friendship with her over this. “Er, Chancellor, wouldn’t she notice if I took them?”
“Your magic can produce copies of those records, can’t it? I can understand why you wouldn’t want her to know you took them, given your friendship with her. But, Anon, this is important, there may be things in those records that can finally show the truth! And you care about the truth, don’t you?” Neighsay asked, as he genuinely awaited your answer, calmly, intrigued.
...The truth. Christ, you knew what the truth was, the only thing was trying to get this guy to realize the students were no threat while not revealing your friendship with Chrysalis. “I do, and I understand where you’re coming from. But, sir, what if the records reveal nothing?”
Neighsay went silent, he tapped his hoof on the table, then took another sip of his tea before relaxing. “I will permanently end my investigation, once and for all, and without any future meddling. If my guess is wrong, then at this point, I can be accused of extreme prejudice. I can’t deny that, if I turn out to be wrong, which means it'd be better to stop and not seek out any future actions against them after this. Although, if I am wrong, then your theory might hold water as well. In that case, I will meet with Princess Twilight myself and give her every resource the EEA can give her. Equestria is important to me, Anon, as is everypony in it. If there is a threat to be prepared for, and we can help, then I’ll even stay in the school myself, ready to fight off whatever villain threatens our peace.”
You gulp, you were afraid of that. Win or lose, Neighsay was now more than a few thorns on your side. How the fuck were you going to deal with this one? Surely Twilight would be able to persuade him not to stay at the school or provide defense, since you already knew your friends’ records would be clean. You also can’t arouse his suspicions either, as Chrysalis hanged in the balance. So, for now, you salute. Ugh, if Twilight found out you were spying for Neighsay. Oy, what a mess. “I admire that, sir. You know if it really comes down to that, that I’m with you all the way.”
“Very good, I knew I could count on you. I see such big things in your future, Anon. You truly care about Equestria, and you know your duty is to the ponies who depend on ones like you and I to keep the harmony and balance our world thrives on. Now, before I go, is there anything you’d like to say? Anything interesting that might warrant my interest?” Neighsay asks as he warps his tea set away.
“Er, no, sir. I’ll have the records ready for you soon, so watch out for that.” Dammit, you need to talk to Starlight! Even if she gets angry, she needs to know.
“That’s what I like about you, Anon. Even if you have developed some friendship with these outsiders, you know where your priorities lie. Very well, with nothing else, I’ll be making my leave. Tell your father, wherever he is, that he should make things more orderly, for your sake.” Neighsay tells you with a nod, as he stands and opens a portal back to his office.
“Er, I will, sir.” You said with a bow. “You have a good day, sir.”
“You as well, Anon, and good luck.” Neighsay says as he steps out, with no doubt in his mind that you could do the job he asked of you.
And as soon as he left…
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” You screamed out in a panic as you began to look around. “Discord! Discord, you asshole, why did you even let him in here?! Holy fuck! Dammit, you did this on purpose, didn’t you!?” Dammit, his fucking assholery has gone too far this time, he was playing with a fire that threatened to burn down everything you worked for!
“What?!” Discord cried out… From somewhere…
“What do you mean ‘What’? Where are you?!” You yelled out as you looked around the living room.
Suddenly, a yellow eye with a red pupil and black bat wings began to flap in front of you as it stared at you angrily. “I’m right here, keeping an eye on things as I enjoy our show within a show. How can you blame me for this, Anon?! He just came in from out of nowhere and demanded your presence.”
“And you just bent to his will?! What happened to you being the master of chaos?! Isn’t this your damn house?! You should have kicked him out!” You bellowed out at the eye before pointing at it. “The one time you should have been a douchebag, and you just let him in here. Dammit, Discord, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Don’t you dare make such presumptions with me, sonny colt. I was as surprised as you when he arrived. I would have turned him away if it wasn’t for the fact that… That…” Discord’s eyeball suddenly seized up.
“‘That’ what?! What the fuck are you talking about?!” You shouted at him.
“That… Ugh, that Twilight is also my friend. Hard for me to admit, but when it comes to her school, Twilight being utterly miserable because it’s gone wouldn’t really do well for me. Not only for your’s and Fluttershy’s sake, but also the fact that a mopy Twilight is simply no fun. " Discord said as his eyeball began to slowly fall to the ground. Once it landed, it only looked upwards, as if staring into a void. “How are we going to fix this, Anon? The only way I can see it is to simply have the problem dealt with. You know what I mean.”
“We’re not doing that. Christ, Discord! Isn’t that a little dark, even for you?” The hell was she suggesting that for?! He knew what he was suggesting, he just wanted to get rid of Chrysalis.
“Just a suggestion, not like it’d be hard for her to attack somepony else. But fine, fine… Any suggestions then that won’t end up blowing up in all our faces?” Discord asked.
“First, we need to talk to Starlight about getting those records. I’m one hundred percent sure they're clean. Then, maybe, she could help us come up with a plan.” You said as you began to pace, pondering.
“Or she’ll panic, overthink it, and end up telling Twilight. Who will then panic, overthink it, and either, as I’ve learned, find a way to make it work out or make it crash and burn into oblivion. Usually that last part is funny, but as I said, not in this case.” Discord’s eye said as it began to mindlessly roll on the ground.
“Ugh, you’re right about that. Hey! What if I talk to Chrysalis to hang back for a bit, and we fake a big attack for Neighsay to read about in his paper? Think that’d work?” Ohhh, that’s a good one.
“Wouldn’t work, as the guards would still be around. And before you suggest I poof them away, I can’t. Well, I can, but then the princesses would be upset at you. And I don’t trust Princess Celestia to handle that all too well, considering what she’s capable of.” Discord said, his eye hovering back up and onto the table, making a small tea cup appear so he could take a dip inside.
“Dammit, then what the hell can we do?! Chrysalis would have to make her attack before he shows up at the school, and she’s taking her sweet ass time with her planning. I don’t even know what her plan is yet! She hasn’t told me what she’s thinking, and given she says there’s a time limit, I don’t even know if she’s close to dying from not acting or not yet! Fuck! We have to have an option!” You said, as you paced left and right.
“You do have one, you morons.” Said a voice as the basement trap door began to creak open. Dammit, it was Jimmy, in changeling form, just stepping out with such bravado as he looked at the both of you as if you were jokes.
“No one asked you, ‘Jimmy’. What, have you been eavesdropping? Because you can take your ass back down that trapdoor before I send you down myself! I don’t need your shit right now.” Fucking dammit, you didn’t need this.
“Big words coming from you, small fry. Look at the both of you, pathetic!” Jimmy said with a dark boisterous laugh as he jumped on the table and kicked the tea cup Discord’s eye was in off of it. He then stepped towards you and looked down on you from the table, as if he was in charge. “And you especially. The big human who knows everything about Equestria and knows all the tropes, has now fallen into the easiest to solve trope himself.”
Discord’s eye began to hover upwards as he looked towards Jimmy angrily. “You know, you can do those sorts of things to Anon. But tossing me on the ground like that? You must be asking for something worse than being the giant meatball you used to be.”
“Puh, shut up. You’re as pathetic as he is. All that raw power, that pure magical malevolence, and you waste it on parlor tricks. Listen up you two, I have the solution you’re looking for. But if you want it, I expect a little more respect, do you understand?” Jimmy said, as he stood proud and triumphant. “There was a reason I was the changeling captain. I was, and still am, a genius. And with what I know now, I am beyond even Starswirl the Bearded.”
Cripes, where the fuck did this bravado come from all of a sudden? “Holy fuck, You really think you’re hot shit, don’t you? You think you understand this world better than me? Fine then, what is this big plan of yours that deserves you so much of our respect?”
“Anon, are you seriously going to entertain this joke of a changeling?” Discord asked, unimpressed with Jimmy's zealousness.
“Tch, only because whatever he has is probably good for a laugh. So what is it, ‘Jimmy’?” You ask him in a mocking manner.
“Glad you asked. For this example, I’ll use the episode, ‘The Last Roundup’. You remember that, right, Anon? Do you remember what Applejack’s constant lying caused? To go so far as to break a Pinkie Promise? In fact, whenever lying is involved, keeping up with said lie always seems to make things worse, doesn’t it? Oh yes, I believe one of the reasons Celestia went over your head was simply because you couldn’t be trusted. Our poor Queen, all alone and looney in the head because you simply couldn’t keep up with your own lies.” Jimmy said with a cackle.
“Nevermind! Fucking roast his ass, Discord!” Fuck him! Where does he get off!?
“Wait! Wait! Ahrm” Jimmy said, stepping back as he flinched. “You failed to see my point!”
“Hm? Then you better get to that point, before I show you some of mine.” Discord said darkly, as a bunch of needles began to float around his eye. “And it better be good, as I’ve been needing a new pincushion for quite some time.”
Jimmy clears his throat, and only slightly cuts back on the mocking bravado he was showing before. “The lying, idiots, the lying! For once, you have to stop lying and tell the truth. And I’m not saying to tell the princesses that, but to the Chancellor himself. That’s the only way to prevent this from blowing up in your face.”
“What?! You really are insane, how the fuck is that a good idea?!” That’s it, it was clear he just wanted to see you fail. Because that was just a fucking terrible suggestion.
“How the ‘fuck’ is it not? Here, let me explain it in a way you can understand.” Jimmy jumps off the table, and begins to slowly walk away from you as he transformed into Jimmy the Gent, accent and all. “Tropes, you live by them, and you die by them. Let me tell you, kid, you gotta learn to play the game before the game plays you. But what do you know about that? You’ve become more pony than man, lost your edge. You think you’re some wise guy who knows how to game the system, but you’re just some poor schmuck who let the system game them. With every episode, you’ve seen the problem play out to the solution, everytime. And yet, here you are, playing to the problem without seeing the same solution you claim to always see. Let me ask you, seriously, let me ask you, did you ever think, for even a single second, that maybe doing the right thing might fix your problem? Like, geez, kid, five and a half seasons of the same slop and you’re still as blind as a bat. Being stuck with you is doing a serious job on my mental health, I hope you know that.” Jimmy said, walking, talking, and gesturing like Jimmy would before changing back to his old changeling self, looking at you, staring into your very soul. Wondering if you understood.
“What in the fuck are you…” And then, it hit you. Your eyes went wide. Could it be?
“There it is, that realization. You see it now, don’t you?” Jimmy asked, cocky as hell about it. “See what I mean? This is why I deserve respect.”
You fell into it, didn’t you? The trappings of a trope. Something, given your chaotic unpredictability, that could have led to worse things. He wanted you to tell Neighsay the truth about Chrysalis and you. At first, it made no sense, as all it would presumably do is ruin everything you had with him, which would lead to trouble with your friends at school, not to mention trouble with Twilight, as she’d now know you were the spy. And then poor Starlight, given she’s in on it, it would lead to her being in trouble too.
But then, there was Jimmy’s words. He was suggesting that telling the truth would be the solution. In other words, that telling Neighsay would lead to an alternative outcome, one of understanding. It’s hard to see, how could he understand it when he has so much prejudice in his heart? Thinking deeper about it, you’d still need the records to exonerate your friends, and that would be no problem if you spoke to Starlight calmly and logically. The issue is putting yourself in the spotlight, basically telling him that you, all along, have been and still are friends with one of the most evil beings in Equestria.
You looked at the shackles on your legs. The curse, the need to reform Chrysalis, the final game. It was your mission, a mission known about by even the highest authorities in Equestria. Would Neighsay understand that? Would he understand your mission to reform Chrysalis, perhaps making her a powerful ally? You’d have some leeway, as even the hive pretty much hate her, their own mother, guts. You’d have to stand your ground.
Oh god, but you couldn’t do it alone either. You’d need one other person by your side, one person Neighsay would have to take seriously.
Princess Celestia…
“Oh god… He’s right, Discord. Holy crap, ngh.” It almost made you want to hurl. It was frightening. And to think, it came from this guy? Shit…
“What?! Excuse the vernacular, Anon, but do you have a few screws loose on that steel head of yours? What he said doesn’t even make any kind of sense, how is telling the truth now supposed to fix anything?” Discord asked, baffled you’d even entertain such a thought.
“Because, if we lie, and he finds out, it's basically the end. We’d be dragging not just Twilight, but everypony’s validity in the mud by lying about Chrysalis in any way. We actually have to tell Neighsay the truth before he finds out himself.” You say, still bewildered, your voice trailing off.
“Oh good, and then he can label you a traitor, sounds good to me.” Discord said in an angry mocking tone. “Oh, perhaps he’ll label me one as well. We’ll both be on the run, riding on trains and eating what hobos eat, doesn’t that sound fun? Well, actually, we’d be hiding here the whole time, but you know what I mean.”
“It’s why I can’t do it alone. I need to get the records from Starlight, and then…” Here it comes. “I need to ask Princess Celestia to come with me to talk to Neighsay, about the truth. Alone, he probably would label me a traitor. But with her at my side, things would probably go my way.”
Discord’s eyeball flew directly in front of you, staring at you as if you were crazy. “You can’t be serious. Princess Celestia, really? Since when were you willing to crawl to her like a worm, begging for her help? What good will that do you?” Discord was serious, he was so willing to try to circumvent a tragedy by lying than to tell the truth. Moreso, he was trying to protect you from being devastated once again.
“Discord, he’s right. We’re falling into a trope, I’m falling into one, where lying always makes things worse. There is no way we can come out on top if we lie. Hell, telling Neighsay the truth without a plan would be just as bad. It’s why I need Celestia, she has a way of smoothing things out in a way I never could. If this was an episode, Discord, that is how the episode would end. Given how much me being here has changed the possible state of Equestria’s natural course of fate thus far, I have a feeling my episode wouldn't wrap up so nicely if I didn’t do this. I’m going to have to bite the bullet, and ask Celestia for help.” You really had no choice.
“There has to be another way! You’re just deciding this because of what he said!” The eyeball said as it frantically flew about. “You can’t just drop everything and decide that's the best course of action when we still have a million other plans to try!”
“A million other plans, all the same lie. Hell, what are we supposed to do that doesn’t end in him finding out? I’m willing to hear you out, Discord, so what do you got?” You ask. Hoping, and yet knowing, he probably has nothing.
“Easy! We leave the EEA a letter from the Chancellor saying he’s going on vacation, and then we lock him in another dimension for a while while making sure he never realizes it was us who locked him in there. We can blame it on Sombra or something! That way you still get what you want and Neighsay is none the wiser, and most importantly, you don’t have to beg like a puppy dog to Princess Celestia.”
“Huh… That could work.” Never mind, Discord might have a good plan there.
“Oh, good plan! But let me ask you this, what do you think will happen when he gets word of the queen walking among ponies? You know, out of nowhere? How do you think that will go? Since he’ll definitely know Anon was involved.” Jimmy asked, giving you both a powerful stare, knowing in his weasely little heart that you both were wrong.
Both you and the eye of Discord flinch at those words.
“Yeah, because unless you have a way of hiding that from him forever. You know, a suddenly converted evil queen, then be my guest. Otherwise, you know I’m right, which means I expect all the respect I deserve from now on.” Jimmy said as he nodded to himself, knowing he had the both of you right where he wanted you.
“Hmmm… I suppose it would be hard to hide the fact you’d have had something to do with her redemption. Well, then, how about we just make him go away forever? He isn’t that important, is he?” Discord asked.
“...Not to us, but I can’t imagine that going well with everypony else.” Ugh, as much as you wouldn’t have minded, it still posed an issue.
“I see. Anon, you can’t just give in so easily. I say you give it a day or so. You can’t just rush decisions like these. I’m sure by the end of tomorrow, one of us will have come up with something.” Discord, he really didn’t want you to give in, to beg Celestia for help.
“Oh, so it’s going to be like that then, hm? Fine, I can go yet another day without the respect I deserve.” Jimmy said as he began to meander back through the trapdoor. But the moment he went in, he popped his head back out to say. “But it’ll only be one more day, and then you’ll see who is right.”
“Bah, don’t listen to him.” Discord says as he blinks, causing a door to appear. “Come on, Anon, let’s relax and finish watching Twilight go bonkers, it’ll help you feel better."
You begin to follow the eye through the door. You sigh, because somehow, you felt, you had no other choice, that Jimmy was right. And there was something else too, something that really worried you.
Celestia, she’d no doubt expect something in return. And whatever that was, it was probably worse than anything Discord could ever ask from you whenever it came to one of his deals.
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Weirdly noticed that this wasn't on my tracking list. But here I am.
I'm glad that the captain is there. He said pretty much everything I was thinking.
come on anon you make us two legs look stupid.
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/209/885/913.jpg
Now for a potential error:
he
....But Neighsay clearly doesn't trust Celestia either....
And it was even said by Celestia that Neighsay technically has more influence than she does when it comes to schools and such.
Neighsay is worried about a student using friendship to cause harm to the people of Equestria, basically pulling a Cozy Glow.
Imagine how he'll react when they tell him that a major villain, who hasn't given up yet, is ALLOWED to plot to destroy Twilight, even if in super favorable in their terms conditions. I mean, hell, she's a shapeshifter, if Cozy Glow's manipulation mentality was what Neighsay was afraid of, Chrysalis is the absolute representation for it.
The way I see this going down is Neighsay using the whole situation as an excuse to close up the school, no matter WHAT Celestia says, and Neighsay to basically step in and destroy Twilight's hopes and dreams because of Chrysalis. What happens after that is hard to imagine exactly, I'm personally rooting for something off the wall stupid and hilarious like Cozy revealing her evil to Evil Anon, being hit on and disturbed by him before capturing him, not questioning his behavior since it IS technically Anon, and then capturing everyone else while Anon is having a chat with Chrysalis about the messed up situation....
That, or real Anon is captured alongside everyone else, and its suddenly up to Evil Anon and Chrysalis to save the day, Honestly, there's a lot of things that could happen, this is just one of many ideas. What I'm looking forward to is just a very confused Cozy Glow, since she can't be expecting Chrysalis and/or Evil Anon AT ALL.... Also there's still the Storm King thing, I imagine Evil Anon could get captured by the Storm King and put through horrible stuff instead, like I said, there's a lot.
*EDIT*
ALSO I REALLY HOPE ANON TELLS NEIGHSAY ABOUT COZY GLOW BEFORE SHE GOES TRAITOR MODE! That would be extremely satisfying to have Neighsay take a full 180 on how intelligent Anon is, after assuming him dumb for trusting Chrysalis.
10400730
Neighsay may not trust Celestia too much, but what you saw from Anon was his "heel turn" moment. It may still be a longshot, but at least he knows he needs to pull off some human shenanigans to get his way.
But when the meetup starts,an old foe will appear once again
10401161
I will ALWAYS come back to this story just cause of the crazy stuff that can happen due to SHENANIGANS, and I don't mean the lol so random shenanigans, but the consequences OF them.
The devil gets his due with whipped cream finish in this story.
Man. When are we getting a chapter about Anon's trust skills? They're abysmal. Or maybe a chapter about all the stress he keeps holding on to? Cause every new chapter he keeps getting more uptight and paranoid.
OH SHIT! ANON! YOU BETTER MEDDLE WITH THESE RECORDS NOW! AND GIVE THEM TO HIM!
This is Jimmy isn’t it
Nevermind
PREACH JIMMY!