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Scootaloo loves her daughters, really she does. They're all so creative. Especially in the way the deal with bullies.
Warning, while this is more accurate to bullying than in the MLP episodes, it's still a very simplified version of it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hmm, that's actually an interesting idea, nice short fic.
8957107
Thank you!
8957131 I am always in support of ScootaBelle and I've made some family for them too... though I'll admit triplets never crossed my mind, still, very cute, saw all their pictures.
Actually, that should be "your."
Also, the narration randomly switches between past- and present-tense. I'm sorry if I'm coming across as overly critical, but one of the most important lessons a writer has to learn is the importance of constructive criticism. Too many people have made the mistake of refusing to listen to what others have to say.
I'm sorry if I come across as a lecturing jerk@$$, but, well, I... I don't have a lot of social skills, so a lot of conversations I have turn out like this.
Grammatical issues aside, this is an excellent story with a very interesting premise; I haven't really shipped ScootaBelle in the past, but now I 100% do. And I like the kids as well - they're so cute and I just want to hug them all!
8957956
Why thank you! This is part of a series, all my other stories are in the same universe in fact!
Spot-on. A realistic portrayal of the bullying issue that a lot of media seems to deny.
As stated before, you really need to work on your grammar, though, there are several errors like the confusion of "your" and "you're" and issues with sentence structure.
The narrative needs improvement, too, it's not clear if the story is meant to be narrated by Scootaloo or not which makes the speaking manner look odd. This would have probably worked better in first person. If you're telling a story in third person, a more formal style is more fitting.
8958419
Thanks, both for the praise and criticism :D
Yeah, I always found the whole 'ignore bullies and they'll leave you alone' thing to be stupid. If their hits don't work, they won't walk off, they'll just hit harder. And the 'tell somebody' is based around the idea that authority figures will step in, which they rarely do.
Sorry, ranting there. But I will try to make it clearer, uh, hang on.
8958419
Okay, I fixed the your and you're thing, but I'm unsure as to how to make it clear it's from Scootaloo's perspective. I have to explain the main reason they're being picked on, and how they deal with it, but I try to make it seem as if it's Scootaloo noting all these things. If you could point me in the way of a specific line or two, I could see what I could do.
8959158
The overall informal and personal speech manner, most notably these moments, make it look like it's Scootaloo who's talking, yet the story is told in third person which makes it look strange.
Third person narration usually implies some abstract narrator who is not a part of the story and is usually done in a fairly formal manner.
As I said, I believe the story would have better matched your intentions if it was told in first person from Scootaloo's perspective.
8959203
Right, thank you. I might need to think for a bit, but I will fix this.
Nice. Also, I can totally understand Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle's frustration with that rule, as I too share a similar frustration with "zero tolerance on fighting policy" in most schools
8960863
It is such a stupid rule! I'm honestly annoyed at how badly MLP screwed up on episodes surrounding bullies.
8960872
Not just that, schools in general. They always tell you that you should tell a teacher, but just like in the story, they just get sent home and a slap on the wrist
8960873
If I'm ever a parent, and my kid gets in trouble for beating their bully, I'm not going to punish them. I'm not going to allow the teacher to punish them either, because they had to have known.
8962285
Same. I'm going to make sure they learn how to defend themselves. No child of mine is going to be a victim
If Scootaloo's daughters were voiced, what would they sound like?
8967130
Well, one of them is mute, so she's out.
Ace- She spends a lot of time around the Apples, and somtimes borrows their prases. She also has a habit of lowering her voice. So, kind of deep, I guess? It's hard to explain
Melody- Kind of like Starfire from Teen Titans? It's not that squeaky, but can reach squeak level if properly excited
8967154
Why do you think Starfire's voice is squeaky?
8960863
I did 2 days in detention for getting my ankle broken. I didn't even participate in the fight. What I learned was to not get caught.
9067892
If my kid gets detention for a fight that they didn't start, I am storming the school, I don't give two shits about any kind of false moral highground they'll try to pull, I won't allow it
9068374
Didn't start nothing. I didn't hardly participate. And yes, my parents were furious. But since the douchenozzle who did it got expelled literally the next day for an unrelated event of offensive behavior, there wasn't really anthing they could do. And the next guy who tried found that the 6'2" scarecrow can, in fact, punch through a cinderblock when I 'accidentally' missed his face.
9068544
Good on you, Scarecrow!
9068892
Yeah, down side was that I split my knuckles open back halfway to my wrist, and cracked 3 bones. Worth every second of the healing process to make the bullying finally stop though.
9069216
Well, no pain no gain?
9069870
That's true.