Starlight and Trixie go to the store to buy groceries. A task so mundane there’s pretty much no way they can mess it up.
Note: Part of my “Twilight, Spike, Starlight, Trixie, Tempest Shadow, and Grubber all hang out at Twilight’s Castle continuity” which I should maybe think up a name for… 3TsG2Ss? It’s Always Sunny in Ponnyville?
Thanks to
Tired Old Man,
Nova Quill/Firimil, and
Steel Resolvefor their edits and suggestions and cloudyglow for the adorbs vector!
Twilight’s School of Friendship Doctorate
"Please, have a seat, I'm Dr. Light.
And sensible isn't in Trixie's vocabulary Glimmy, you just doomed yourself to shenanigans.
Pony Teen Hunger Force.
I'll read the actual fic in the morning when I can see straight.
I love your version of Trixie.
8956008
I enjoy the irony of your statement here.
Ask Twilight.
Apparently not.
A fair point.
... I guess.
Which will never do.
Dammit Starlight...
She has a point.
That'd be too easy, she even adresses the stupidity of what she's doing and goes with it anyway!
... You two need to hatefuck at some point.
I'd have gone with reciprohate, personally.
This is why I adore their dynamic.
I get it!
I see.
That is a fair point.
For kids.
What?
I'm increasingly confused and alarmed.
You, need a hug there Trixie?
I love how Starlight's inherited Twilight's snark.
... I don't doubt that.
I suspect you're right.
Yet.
...
This is not going to end well.
Five Bits says Twilight just wanted some sweet peaches. Also that either the ending or the sequel to this features an unreasonably upset Applejack.
8956017
....what irony? *reads first few paragraphs* Oooooooh...heheh.
This is going to end in at least one pony ascending to draconequushood. My money's on Vinyl.
Sweet pickles, obviously. Duh.
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!
When TRIXIE is the voice of reason, things are about to go desperately out of control.
GAAAH! RESTRAINING ORDER, RESTRAINING ORDER!!
Or a manticore...
Starlight Glimmer, you are a horrible pony.
Ouch!
Oh god, Vinyl's cooking meth.
Okay, who's pregnant?
Who's the blind pony from Hearth's Warming Vinyl was talking about?
Also, this looks to be great.
8956471
Very possibly Snowdrop
8956650
Oh yeah, her.
Standard you then.
I get it,
What?
DAMMIT TRIXIE!
So Tumblr.
That explains so much.
No.
Accurate.
And that si how superfluous he was to the movie.
This is going to end poorly.
My mind is full of f*** and I love it
Also, knife powder? Seriously?
Beanis in the morning, beanis in the evening, beanis at suppertime!
Sonata attractant and/or repellant
Now 20%...wrappier!
T H E Y ' R E G R R R E A T . . .
Kills even the most stubborn deer ticks.
...I got nothin'.
You're learning!
There is something seriously wrong with you.
.....
....... liked and faved
when's the next chapter due
8958138
Mmhm. I felt they added him because they required by law to add a tedious "comedy" sidekick to the bad guy and did the most perfunctory job possible, without doing what pony is (well, has been in the past, not, unfortunately quite so good about in the last couple of seasons) good at and doing something different or clever with it,
Knife Powder. So a stiff breeze is the next thing to threaten Ponyville.
Knife.
Powder.
Knife powder.
And now you know the basics of CQC.
In any case, the hilarity continues. I didn't even know Beanis Inc. was exporting products to this worldline. Looking forward to the further misadventures of Tsunderixie, Starlight Alchemiter, and All The Drugs.
8958217
Emo Dip is clearly what to use when you want your chips to taste as bleak and meaningless as existence itself. (It's actually just plain hummus.)
8958349
Is this a reference to something?
8959068
The knife powder reminded me of a weapon used in one of the sword of truth novels where as a means of striking at an invading army they crushed glass into a powder, magically refined it, and then used a combination of wind magic and spreading it across the battle line to cause most of the frontline of the invading army to either go blind or cough up their lungs depending on wether they inhaled it or got it in their eyes. Basically the effects of fiberglass dust amped up to 11. As for knife powder in general your guess is as good as mine on that one.
8959308
Ugh. Sword of Truth. Once upon a time, I thought those books were cool. I regret those days.
No joke, I actually wrote "Smeet pichies" on a piece of paper to try and figure it out. So far, I'm stumped.
8959537
I wouldn't spend much time on it. Honestly, like many things in this particular story, it's more incredibly obscure reference than anything else.
8959511
I still think it’s a decent series, but after the third or fourth time this exchange came up:
Richard-“This is what’s happening.”
Any other person-“That is impossible, you don’t know enough, give up on this lead.”
Several chapters later
Previous other person-“Oh god Richard was 100% right! Now everyone not in the main cast is dead and on fire!”
I came to the conclusion it was starting to drag. Dalton is still in my top 10 villains though.
8959818
And then there was every woman constantly being threatened by or actually getting raped, the increasingly blatant objectivism, Richard's interminally long rants, the rising number of atrocities they justified by claiming they're the good guys and the other guys aren't, the Gollum knockoff, oh, and lest we forget...THE EVIL CHICKEN.
Which one was Dalton again?
“Well, you certainly spend more time with her, but I spend more time secretly reading her journals, notes for various things, and mail that’s sent to her… Not to mention sifting through her garbage and shouting things about how spankable her flank is and how her hooves are just begging to be feather tickled.”
First, the offscreen Sirens snuggle/threeway, now this? You're a tease, ya know that?
8959825
Minister of culture to Anderith. Only thing I liked about the book Soul of The Fire.
8959948
Oh yeah, that guy. I liked him. He got a raw deal. Also, his country totally wasn't thinly-veiled anti-semitism and Holocaust denial.
Here's a partial summary of their shopping trip:
KNIFE POWDER
Nice reference to “home again, home again, jiggity jig”
8959827
See previous comment.
8962728
That says it all
Vinyl may be All The Drugs, but I want to know what Starlight is on.
How are they paying for all this?
Have I said how much I love your writing style and sense of humor?! Because I do! I really do!
Great job!
I can't wait to see where this is going.
Friendship with Trixie: 15 points
Ruining store with Trixie: -84 points
Angry make-up sex with Trixie: 69 points
Confessing today’s sins to Twilight: pointless
Not everything has to count toward a goal. But for those big accomplishments, there’s Mastercard.
thumbs.gfycat.com/SimplisticCaringIlladopsis-size_restricted.gif
You know you need to reevaluate your life when both Trixie and Discord are better metrics for normalcy.
Excuse me?
...
I believe that.
That answer your question, Vinyl?
You are amazing.
Trixie is best pony.
Doesn't sound too different from your usual state.
You are a frightening individual.
So, Inconvenient Trixie is canon in this ‘verse?
Trixie is half Changeling now. Another fun chapter, great job!
This explains so much...
In any case, the spell's called Star Swirl's Universal Solution for a reason. After all, booting it out of the universe does count as a solution! Now to see how Twilight reacts to this transcendent failure...
"Stop using smart words to justify being stupid"... there's a phrase I'll have to hang on to. You put it quite succinctly.
Also, just to point it out:
A yellow banana? Either this is redundant (since bananas are usually assumed to be yellow unless otherwise specified) or a hilarious spelling error. I'd like to see Tree Hugger wearing a banana, in place of (or in addition to) her usual bandana.
9026048
whoops! Fixed. Thanks !
Really hoping “smeet pichies” is the name of a new brand of cereal or something. I think that would send Starlight into a supernova of rage.
Jeez... I would have just given Starlight some Abraxo or something when she asked for "Knife Powder". Then again, I'm also the guy who'd already be dead or insane because I'm enough of a "good sport" to let crazy girls experiment on me sometimes (typically because I've grossly underestimated their harm potential). Word to the wise: do NOT let an individual not actually trained in the art to apply makeup to your face. They will tell you AFTER the fact that they are incapable of coordinating the motions because applying it to their own faces is enough of a struggle and for you they'll have to reverse the motions and learn how to gauge distance and pressure applied to something that is not themselves.