• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen January 5th

kudzuhaiku


She's looking at you. Yes you. And she is judging you with her eyes. There is no escape.

T

Shining Armor, a pony in dire need of vacation, faces immense challenge while doing so. Cadance didn't leave her work at home and being a father is a full time job. Can't a pony catch a break?

The answer is no. Definitely not.

An entry in the Weedverse.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 207 )

Isn't that a delicious sandwich? No, it's snot.

This was too intriguing to ignore, and Shining Armor found himself resenting his wife just a little tiny bit for springing this on him. It was the worst sort of bait, the kind he had trouble resisting, and even though he tried to push it out of his mind, he found himself thinking about it. For this… there would be a reckoning… later, once dinner, dancing, and drinks were finished.

Well, yeah, this is really an awful situation, this one of having similar interests as your wife.

Truly this marital compatibility will be the downfall of your whole vacation.

"I can quit working anytime I want to. I just choose not to."

Interesting. Subject acknowledges self-destructive behavior, but refuses to correct for it despite demonstrated irritation.

At least she acknowledges that living in large cities makes ponies miserable.



On a separate note, Shining Armor is incorrect: Too many choices is far, far worse than too few choices. At least with too few choices, you can still make a choice. As soon as decision paralysis sets in, that’s all she wrote: You will never make a choice from the options presented because it causes too much stress, whereas if you decide to not choose from those options (or perhaps opt for secret answer “E”), not only are you no longer burdened with the stress of choosing, you can further declare that the whole thing is a sucker’s game in any case, and by not choosing at all, you have in fact made the correct choice.

Seriously, this is like, Economics 102; a first-year business student could figure this out.

8909582
I dunno, I think there is something to be said about having too few choices, settling, and then never experiencing your fullest potential because of it.

Edit: Making do is not the same as making good.

I had to look up sproglodyte. Nice, lol. Poor Shiny, all he wants is a little down time. Guess he lost that when it was decided that he was getting married, hahahaha. I wonder if she was pregnant right then and that was why that immediate decision was made. Would explain why Twi didn't know until the last minute.

you know i can total see quiet dark being cheerful at the beach, wearing a dark cloak gown thing, grey parasol, googles, like a mini pony mortica adams

Shining reminds me of MY dad at times. Milkman for 40 years, and he married the manager of a dari mart he delivered to. Just think. The milkman serves the dari mart, and guards serve royalty.

Despite Equestria's cute little ponies, cucumber and butter isn't a good combination in a sandwich.

The cucumber is usually a bit soggy, and the butter provides an unwelcome contrast of sweetness to the refreshing and wet crisp of the cucumber.

8909588
I don’t disagree, but even if making do isn’t making good, it’s still making something: Better to feel like you did well despite your options, than to feel like you can’t do anything because of them.

8909966
I know! But people keep doing this anyway!

Something is wrong with people.

I think you might agree.

8910217 they're psychopaths.

8909591
Common theory. Horses have a slightly longer gestation period than humans (about 10 months I think), but a little over a year passes between "Canterlot Wedding" and "The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows", so it seems unlikely... unless she miscarried of course but that's getting a little dark.

I'm slightly disapointed that with the title, this isn't a Warhammer 40k crossover. Or maybe that was an unintented thing.

8910460
I am slightly disappointed that you think this comes from Warhammer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lies,_damned_lies,_and_statistics

Mark Twain popularized the saying in Chapters from My Autobiography, published in the North American Review in 1906. "Figures often beguile me," he wrote, "particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: 'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.'"[2]

Raising Alicorn Foals: A Guide, by Shining Armor.

The lesser-known sequel to the bestselling novel: "Courting Alicorns: A Guide, by Prince Gosling."

how far in the future is this...one can only guess

*curious white fox gets home from work, having left early due to allergies plaguing him due to co-workers using fragranced things on the production floor, reads new chapter, and promptly laughs himself into a coughing fit*

8909591 Shotgun wedding alicorn style? :derpytongue2:

8910470
He most likely hates them for the same reason I never trust datasheets. It always seems different on paper than it is in real life.

I like little skyla, she has a good head on her shoulders.

8910536
Check the weedverse timeline in like half an hour. I just caught up

Jumping Jack flash, Candence has gas, gas, gas!

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics is now on the timeline.

"Get a kudzuhaiku, they said. It'll be great, they said."

Fixed that for you.:trollestia:

8911242
Best thing I never knew I needed :twilightsmile:

I love Shining and Cadence's interactions. Shining's a good daddy. Is Skyla autistic?

Oh man, seawater tummy aches suck. WHen you're a kid you don't realize seawater is different than fresh water. I can't remember if it ever made me sick, but I remember accidentally sucking down a lot of seawater as a kid.

p. Reflecting a bit on being a father, this bit of knowledge was something that had taken him some fair amount of time to learn. Flurry cried in a much different way, if she cried at all. Having one foal didn’t necessarily prepare you for the second.

This guy dads.

Shining Armor wasn’t ready either; he still wanted a buddy for naps and to play with. It occurred to him for the first time how much he needed these things, and a growing lump lodged in this throat.

Shining strikes me as a pony who is only happy is they have a kid or two waddling about the homestead. Which is surrpising, honestly.

if there wasn’t a huge, looming crisis, then many of your social workers would be out of work

It's well known that social problems increase to occupy the total number of social workers ...

"I can quit working anytime I want to. I just choose not to."

Oh, is that how it works? Well, I'd better quit breathing then. I hear oxygen is terrible for your long term health.

I'm worried about Skyla. A child shouldn't become so distressed by a change in routine that they wet the bed. What's going on?

Don't you mean heffalump?

You never fail to amuse me Kudzu , thank you for helping to keep my mind off of things for a bit. :twilightsmile:

It was so hot, one of those little ponies in those orange robes just burst into flames... it was that hot!

8913445
Heffalumps and woozles?

I can appreciate an air/warship. Interesting to have a vacation on a military base. Safe, but not kid oriented, lol.

Interesting that a base this size has no facility for children. Those are most of the time surrounded by villages, and suitable for long-term assignments that include spouse and children.

Eh, Skyla was fine. If she had the wind to shout, then she wasn’t running very hard. If she was really in trouble, she’d be too winded to be screaming. Ah yes, everything in good fun. A little exercise was good for Skyla, and Shining Armor remembered fondly the days when he motivated his baby sister, Twilight, into physical fitness by dangling something indescribably gross behind her and threatening to touch her tail with it. Now, Twilight was sporty, athletic, and physically fit.

I like Shining's take on this.

“So, Shining Armor… tell me… which filly did you settle on?”

Without thinking of his rather honest reply, Shining Armor said, “The gassy one.”

The bravest stallion in Equestria.

8913445
pretty sure that is a woozle.

8914028
Maybe there is, and you just haven't seen it?

It is a very narrow perspective after all.

8914248
Then the arcade of all places would have reflected it.

It was the kind of heat that easily roasted a buttery pony without a dragon's assistance.

A much needed look into Shining's head. And I love to see the Crystal Sisters getting along.

"I have altered the deal. Pray that I do not alter it further."

So, girls, what are we going to do for dinner?

Hopefully not butter and cucumber sandwiches. Ugh.

Father/Daughter bonding time. Good times.

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