Princess Luna is told by Princess Celestia that she must take on two students. But something is different about these two and there is a specific reason Luna was chosen for this task. As the students grow and learn, The fate of Equestria could hang in the balance.
Note: The growth-cycle of Alicorns is based on magical power in this fic. They will gain power within weeks, and grow at a fast pace. they can reach full height within a year if trained properly
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Well i have to say its a nice premise but your writing (unfortunatley) is fairly blunt.
Mostly its the odd perspective that drives me away, trust me, i know its hard to get it right... Suggestion: try 3rd person past, itll sound better :
Also the plot moves way too fast and you lack detail but that can be fixed (hopefully)
only problem is that their alicorn... There arnt many of those around now are there? And their colouring... Its just so very overly typical...
Also luna is extreamley out of charecter... Really really badly... Tip: if you want luna to be more like luna give her ye ol' royal woice... Aka "we", "thy" and "art"...
Im going to be nice and give you a like for effort, but fix this thing up!!!
977517
Thank you for the suggestions! I might try 3rd person past (probly not for this story, sorry), but WILL will add more detail. I will also fix the way Luna talks. I know their coloring is really typical, but I couldn't think of what matched light and dark more than black and white. Much like how Luna and Celestia match night and day. Also part of the purpose of the story is that the students ARE Alicorn.... Also, the story DOES seem fast, but that is because there is much more to tell
977715 its very nice seeing people actually trying to improve
) but like i said, nice to see people improving 
perspective is a weird thing but its not as bad as it coulve been (ive seen some crazy stuff in my time on this site
protip: make chapers atlest around 3000 words, that way you'll beable to fit in a bunch of details, also dont rush it too much, take time, make cliffhangers etc. Ill keep an eye on how your doin' do your best
982692 thank you very much! I do my best to improve every time I do something, and I will try not to disappoint! 3000 words, oh boy. its a tall task but it can and will hopefully be done!
Oi! How did i miss this?! STUPID PHONE Y U NO WORK WHIT ME HERE?
*ahem* anyway... You have improved quite the bit since last time
the perspective still gets me but i can press past that 
nice to see your using the royal canterlot voice. also its nice to see more details this time around. I may not have mentioned this but your spacing and paragraphing is awesome. i couldnt do it for my life
anyway, you've niceley improved. Only the royal voice can do some work... try 'thine'
but like i said: yer' doing better! Keep it up
1041642 I will do my best to improve on the voice thing, just gotta get the hang of it
. And thank you, the spacing was actually suggested by my editor, and ever since he did I find that I love the spacing as well! I will try to improve even more in the upcoming chapters! Thank you for all your help and suggestions!