Virtually invisible to PaulAsaran
You work as a shop assistant at a general store in Manehattan, stocking shelves and running the cash register and doing whatever else Jim Jam, your minotaur boss, needs you to do.
He's a pretty decent boss, and you get a discount on anything you buy in the shop. More importantly, the schedule is flexible, allowing you time to pursue your weekend passion: exploring ruins in search of ancient artifacts.
Written for Rare Story Prompts Contest #1
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Anadolu?
I know where Galicia and Manipur are, but I don't know that one.
8895287
It's a breed of pony from Turkey.
Booby trap
That's the first thing I think of when I read that.
Wasn't it the British Museum who sent the team?
8895321
The Bitish Museum.
I've seen the Monty Phyton's movie, I know how deadly rabbits are.
A fast trip because they only have 20 minutes of an episode instead of an hour an half of movie?
I thought Whistle stop would be after it because of the Rings Things Pyramid?
Defnitely go in for acrobatics. And Parkour.
And try and get some unicorns learning Mend?
need more space
I'm always a sucker for a good Daring do. Neat, fast paced and interesting.
Good enough to make me forget that dumb 2nd person heresy in fact.
8895294
The first thing that popped up in google was a Turkish touring agency.
8895330
Ah!
They need canvas and whitewash. Ok, it's an inside gag. Our adventuring group once had to build and defend a dungeon. Door? Expensive as heck. Trap doors for your pit trap? Even moreso. Rope, canvas and whitewash? Cheap. Snares, trip-ropes, secret doorways covered in canvas, arrow slits covered in canvas, and whitewash over everything to disguise it.
Disposable minions make the job of trap detection much easier. And it cuts down on retirement benefits.
Banana-because she's elongated and smooth compared to a pony?
If they hadn't opened yet there wouldn't have been any customers to look.
8895339
They have big, sharp, pointy teeth.
8895347
Fixed, thank you!
8895296
I actually considered giving the chapter a different title, since I wanted to be classy and not make too many boob jokes.
Speaking of which, here's a picture of boobies!
static01.nyt.com/images/2017/03/07/science/07sci-boobies-social/07sci-boobies-social-facebookJumbo.jpg
8895398
That's actually pretty clever. If you can keep it pulled tight (or don't mind it looking like your dungeon is undergoing remodeling), it's affordable and you can hide all sorts of sins behind it. Heck, that's why theatre flats were canvas nearly forever (now they're mostly luan, since it's just as cheap, not much heavier, and slightly more stable).
In one of King's short stories, a guy disguises a trap with a giant piece of canvas painted to look like a road.
8895340
Acrobatics and parkour are skills that any adventurer needs.
In Pathfinder, one of my best characters ever (in terms of durability) was a monk with high ranks in acrobatics and tumble. We once cleared a dungeon by having my character go through, activate the traps, and then just jump out of the way . . . it was faster and had a better success rate than our rogue finding them.
He also had the feat 'throw anything,' which was a lot of fun in combat. I once tossed a halfling in that campaign . . . as a weapon.
8895356
Well, I kinda had to do that for the contest. Even though first person was allowed, when it was first announced, it was second person or go home, and I figured that I ought to stick with that. At least prove that it can be done well if one tries.
8895401
i.imgflip.com/uxyg5.jpg
8895565
They could have been looking in through the front window?
Correction made, thank you!
8895468
I mean, yes, she is, and some of the ponies think that she's a monkey, but more in terms of the nickname for Hannah being Banana.
This was a fun little weekend adventure.
8895586
You need the feats Cut From The Air, Smash From The Air?
First one lets you deflect Arrows, the second, unlicked by getting the first, lest you deflect Magic Missile? But its level limited I think to Maud, L16 or something.
I would like to register a complaint with the management! This is actually the preantepenultimate chapter.
8895575
Is that how you call them? In french they're called "Fou" (crazy). Not much better.
I heard of the Antikythera mechanism! The author of one of my favourite webcomics wrote a book that revolved around whether it should exist or not
I'm guessing, like an orrery?
"...but you can call me Hannah Banana."
Meanwhile, somewhere, nowhere, Discord is sitting in his floating fauteuil, and laughs until he falls out of it.
I never understood that idiocy. Sure, you can make the place a republic, but, by definition, those things have elected leaders. The very idea of "a republic led by Luna" makes no sense
Also, general body flexibility, I guess, though Equestrian ponies might come close to that.
A change in both tense and narrator? Whoops.
Actually, this brings up something that bugs me about this fic, consistently, and it comes in the form of a question.
Why was this told in the 2nd person?
No "Ka-Li-Ma! Ka-Li-Ma!" either
Remarks and Corrections:
> which could have driving right up to the doorstep.
I don't think that should be "driving".
> any more then ten seconds
any more [than] ten seconds
A fun, fast-paced adventure. Indeed, the jump cuts to ever more absurd temple defenses were some of my favorite parts. Thank you for a delightful read, and best of luck in the contest.
Ohh. Very sneaky
Gotta admire the kind of architecture that manages to create a spot down there that has remained attractive for alligators to hang around for thousands of years. They must've studied them beasties for decades to figure that out
"Y'know. After you survive the fall and fend off about a dozen alligators."
Remarks and Corrections:
> You've made it all the way into an antichamber before you hear banging off in the distance.
That's "antechamber".
The thought that these things actually exist in Equestria suddenly makes me happy I'm on boring old Earth
Why are they still discussing this?! Get outta there!
Hee
Well, dammit
Hah
That's pretty straightforward
Doesn't an airship have a crew, though?
8895398
That doesn't work if your dungeon is supposed to last for millennia though
High-octane edge-of-my-seat action!
Remarks and Corrections:
> The rope’s right in front of you and you grab onto it
missing period at the end.
Pony pillow is best pillow
Hey, some practice in that couldn't hurt, considering how much you end up doing it
Remarks and Corrections:
> “I saw it done in a movie,” You tell her.
Shouldn't have a capital letter on "you".
> somebody’d going to wind up with a load of rusty nails.
I think that should be "somebody’[s] going to"
8896534
That was part of the prompt he wrote this for,
Given the chapter title and the multiple references to our main characters bra in the first few chapters I thought it might play a part in disarming one of the traps.
Huh, the bra did turn out to be useful.
8896157
Yes, but it's the penultimate chamber.
8896677
Hopefully ponies have Holy Hand Grenades of Antioch, or the spell equivalent.
If there were still living defenders in the temple, that'd be a great way to get anyone raiding it, wouldn't it be?
It's true; they're alarmingly cute.
It always pays to take the quickest route to the top. And maybe not debate what kind of bunnies are in the pit trap.
8896733
Fixed! Thank you!
8896630
The best trapsmiths know to vary the mechanisms and timing of traps to catch the most people.
There's actually the warning in one of the army's boobytrapping manuals about traps that set off a small device to attract curious onlookers, at which point the larger device goes off.
I think it was Whip and Wing that had several sections devoted to the trap maintenance ponies who worked inside the temple. Probably feeding alligators would be one of their duties.
Well, yeah. But that's a minor detail.
What if it's made out of antimatter?
Correction made, thank you!
8896939
What, tie the bra to a lever or something and then go commando through the rest of the temple? (Well, I guess it would be half commando.)
Actually, thinking of that you can sometimes calm down IRL panicking horses by putting a bra over their eyes. "Take deep breaths, Daring. Wear this."
8896720
As Daring herself said, "A mare's gotta do what a mare's gotta do."
Simple plans are the best.
Yes. So Daring has to get past the guards (if any) and subdue the crew somehow.
Use really good canvas and hang mothballs everywhere.
8896986
Never leave home without your tactical bra (technically, it's a pocket bra and a tactical bra is a different thing, but whatever).
8895955
I think I did have Catch Arrows. Which meant that if someone fired an arrow at me, I could grab it from the air and then throw it back at them.
8896534
Dammit. Correction made, thank you!
Because that was the harder version of the contest. The expert level, if you will. It started out being only 2nd person FiE, but the judges relaxed the rules a bit. The main factors, though, were difficult and rare.
I like doing things that other people don't do (I'm pretty sure I've got the only clopfic starring Hayseed Turnip Truck as half the tango), so I decided to take the more difficult route and see if I could make it work as a second-person story.
8896572
Absurd temple defenses are the best part of writing a story like this.
You're welcome! And thanks!
8896742
Agreed. Although boobs are good pillows, too . . . maybe Daring and Hannah should have taken turns dozing on each other.
I'm just imagining it now. Jim Jam manages to get her enrolled in some ropes course or acrobatics course or something like that and the first time she goes out there she sets a new course record.
Corrections made, thank you!