Let Soldier In Equestria butthurt.....BEGIN!!!!

Nah, no butthurt on this one. I read this on fanfiction.net, it's one of the best!

Ahh always rarity saying THOSE HORRIBLE RAGS!

>>970780970780

*LE GASP*

Its....actually good?

This I MUST see.

This was a decent story. It's not one of the best I've ever read but certainly not among the worst. I'ld give it three of five stars.

This story lacks the minimum of thumbs up I require, but the nice set-up amount of chapters (albeit short on word count, total for a nice piece) HiE setup (my favourite, sorry)... Conclussion, I download it to my kindle.

-reads description- i feel like i have been plagerized :D

JK, well i cant read right now but ill be sure to read later.

OOOH shit this is kinda nice dont know why its not featured?

Second paragraph up, first line, get should be got.

just saying but America isn't a democratic society, bro. We are a democratic republic, that runs on capitalism. ever since 2010 the supreme court ruled that corporations have "free speech" meaning they can donate as much money as they want to political campaigns. In a very simplistic version of voting, you get the choice of voting for either A or B, whom are both owned by C. look up (Citizens United V. Federal Election Commission)

The american dream, lol.... "The american dream you have to be asleep to believe it." - george carlin

The only thing that gets to me is the calling of magazines, or "mags", clips.  They are not clips, but are magazines.

Oh my god tooooo good but those FUCKING DIAMOND DOGS

>>973234973234

because it was posted yesterday, maybe?  or maybe because it was made by somepony else.

In times of war, shit shall go down

This man is a MASTER of diplomacy, and stabbing shit.

>>974703974703

you just described my emotions here perfectly.

A little off topic but was that an annoying orange reference I saw?

'Moore went over to put his shit back on...'

Ooh, the plot thickens(heh)!

MAN DOWN! WE GOT A MAN DOWN! MAN DOWN! GRENAAAADE!

A very good story overall. I enjoyed reading this.

DA PLOT THICKENS!

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png

This story is awesome! And now if only their was one thing during those touchy moments or when they were bonding :3

Image: http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png

YAY! NO HUMAN-PONY SHIPPING! BEST NEWS OF WEEK!

>>984327984327

... Yes, yes I know what you mean

... Best plot twist thus far

>>981221981221

>>981235981235

MOLOTOV INCOMING! (grenades can't beat flaming alcohol!)

>>991863991863 You obviously haven't seen Legion and Friends.

>>996884996884

Not at all, my good sir!

There ya go, no need to thank me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Liudw5xlkU0

this sounds a lot like cupcakes

nooooo not Braeburn

>>991448991448

Evacuation like a boss.

I feel strangely pissed off now. Strangely because this is a fictional character, but who cares? YOU DIAMOND DOG BASTARDS!!

Kick their arses! Rangers lead the way!

>>10187741018774

"and begin freeing the hostiles."

...You mean hostages? Lol.

>>10685521068552

I love this story.......Makes me cry.....:rainbowcry:

This needs to be a movie!

He's already asking for there ages.

Awkward.....

So....He apparantly likes to beat up little fillies.

The plot thickens....

NO ONE EVER SLAPS FLUTTERSHY!!!

NOPONY!!!!

Rangers don't use MP5s.....

It's a BUCKING MAG, NOT A CLIP!!!!

CELESTIA, this author is annoying the crap out of me with all the military inaccuracies.

Reposter, is there anyway that you can change the story a little TINY bit?

Agreed. A good story but it seems like Call of Duty is the closest this guy has gotten to war.

>>981235981235

Moore's breathing steadied as he took his knife and plunged it into the beast's heart.

-

Dramatic, true, but how did he know where its heart was? He's never seen a Manticor before, after all.

Moore took his knife and just stood there for a moment. Taking in the scene that lie before him. He looked at the knife in his hand, still freshly coated in the demon's blood. He had just killed an unknown creature, never discovered by anyone on Earth. Where was he? What kind of messed up country was he trapped in.(?)

-

That should have ended with a question mark, not a period.

"My name is John Moore, I am US Army Ranger, can anyone hear me?" He asked with desperation. Silence was his the only reply. Outraged, he shouted into the speaker. "Hey! Don't just ignore me! Someone had better reply!" Nothing. Sighing, he placed the radio back onto his side and put his helmet back on. He was alone, whether he like(d) it or not.

-

Ya missed a 'd'.

Swallowing, he slowly walks(ed. Lose the 's') closer to the horses and kneels(ed, again, lose the 's') down. One backs(ed, lose the 's') behind the other, who raises(d, 's' again)  a hoof and backs(ed) her head away. He rubbed the back of his head and tried to explain himself. "Look... my job is protecting people... and... I'm not going to hurt you." He said(,) still staring at the ground.

-

You're switched tenses in this paragraph, but the comma at the end could be ignored if you placed the word 'while' in its place (with the spacing needed, of course )

If you ever go back later and edit it or get someone else to edit it for you I'll read the rest of it. Overall your story(line) is at interesting, but you've got a lot of work on it to do. Your spelling as far as correct lettering is fine, though.

>>12666691266669

Image: http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000976055/7bdbf23871e875b4_817585_grammar_nazi_logo_large_xlarge.jpeg

Sigh... fine. I'll go back and correct it.

Wow... The military innacuracies really really irritates me here!!

HOWEVER, I do enjoy this story. I know this was a repost version of the one from fanfiction.net, but I just wish I was the author's editor. I could have contributed many corrections there (switch from 'clip' to 'magazine', correct Army customs and courtesies, etc.)

>>13206231320623 I hear ya - I'm in the reserves... but I'm too lazy! :D

>>13272401327240

I'm active Army MP. Also, I actually categorized each Ranger's specialties, thinking what they use to be  and what unit they were in (and unit patch on their right shoulder) before they became Rangers. Call me nerdy but that's what I did.

Moore-Air assault (101st Airborne Division). 101's motto "Rendezvous With Destiny." I was thinking of the flashback he had while Johnson was trying to push on.

Connors-Long Range Recon (mostly thinking cavalry scout.) 1st Cavalry Division.

Adams-Combat engineer *cough* Essayons!! (I say 1st Armored Division)

Barns-Squad automatic weapon gunner. (2nd Infantry Division)

Hans-infantryman. (4th Infantry Division)

Daniels-light infantry. (25th Infantry Division)

>>13333271333327 NERD!

I kid, I kid...

dude, sometime you ARE going to run out of ammo you know...

The story is allright, but the grammar could be better, I spotted numerous errors.

>>13887101388710 No you aren't! Twilight is duplicating magazines for you!

>>974626974626 Speaking of magazines, 19 m4 mags? mother of god thats 570 rounds! Soldiers only carry 210 (7 magazines) plus a bandolier of 140 rounds to refill the mags.19 mags? Where on your kit would you even keep all those?

>>14824261482426 I talked to an active CF sergeant once who said that his platoon deployed with double the standard ammo after they were in a particularly bad fire fight which landed half his platoon with the sacrifice medal. You're stil right though... I think that ammo would have been kept in the humvees or something, not on the actual soldier.

"Moore looked back up to the rainbow colored pegasus and placed a hand on her head, stoking her mane."

is it supposed to be stroking?

>:( I hate my birthday...........

This, this story... was just great. I would recommend this fic to be featured, it made me smile, laugh, shed *coughmanlycough* tears, it was epic. Waiting for a possible continuation

NotABrony is correct, but another thing. Soldiers do have their hair cut short to see better, but there's another reason as well. When/if a soldier gets into close quarters combat, if their hair is long, and they nothing on their head, their opponents can grab their hair, pull it, basically take control of the fight.

And I know I'm probably late saying this, but I notice you switch from present to past tense multiple times as you write. Also, I notice small grammatical errors but I don't see them as something to pick about. Other than these few things, and NotABrony, I love this story.

I'm probably too late in saying all this, but hay, I still can.

Also, I know I'm picky, but you don't take into consideration that- wait0 never mind. Equestria does have guns. Bullets and others things allude to this fact in some episodes.

im your 100th thumbs uper!

those dogs deserves a tomahawk to the FACE!!!

Image: http://www.navsource.org/archives/01/0162049.jpg

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_oDxaspT_gsg/TP9QwOQ7mZI/AAAAAAAAAKs/1B3rQx3lQn4/s1600/nuclear-explosion.jpg

that MW3 phrase!