- Member Since 12th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Dec 28th, 2018
Mistaken Pony
Yo, I might write some good stories, but they will probably be bad. I LOVE mlp fim! Also, a bunch of other random stuff that would make you lol! Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are SO cute together!
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Wolokai · 31k words · 107 8 · 4.7k views
- NeutralParasite · 6.1k words · 26 3 · 1.8k views
- Priceless911 · 100k words · 157 6 · 3.7k views
- friedlambo · 12k words · 549 31 · 15k views
- Harmony_Charmer · 9.6k words · 18 4 · 963 views
- DontWakeTheNeighbour · 7.5k words · 179 10 · 6.7k views
- Jet_Black1980 · 78k words · 643 19 · 7.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.07 seconds
Total duration
828 users online
597,241 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Also, this was somewhat of a super-short prolouge, so now, fire away with the terrible comments!
Tell me if sucky or not please.
sigh I ruined another chapter, having it be short.
Twilight was humming daybreak, like 'Community' does.
Also, random, I know, but this is so true and my life
images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/18400000/If-you-watch-anime-lucky-star-18486465-750-600.jpg
ATTENTION!
I did not mean for chaptars to be so short!
It was always in my netbook! It won't let me type that many words, but there will be more chapters! I swear!
Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye
Don't... even... say it! I know!
Now, have a nice day sirs and madams
BEUTIFUL
WHY DO YOU MAKE MY STORY LOOK BAD
Yeah! Almost first! This was good. Have a stache.
It reads like a fairy tale. I noticed a couple of grammar issues such as changes in tense. It could probably use some polish to straighten out a couple awkward sentences.
Your ideas are neat. I really liked Twilight as a changeling. There is a lot of potential there. One thing I would recommend is slowing down a bit and taking the time to get into her head. You could put a lot more of her character into moments such as when she is first transformed into a changeling, or when she transforms into her friends. I know watchers of the show already know how much her friends mean to her, but there is opportunity for you to show it in a unique way when she transforms into them. I mean, how does Twilight feel to be transformed into Fluttershy? Also, slowing down can help you to build a bit more suspense in your story. Short chapters are easy to read, which is great. Make things easy on your reader wherever you can. But it means less build-up to moments like the parasprite battle. Just a thought.
So, yeah. Those are my two cents. Your story is fun and imaginative, and I feel that slowing down and delving into Twilight's thoughts and feelings would make it even better.
967099 Well, it is rather short. And I make it a personal rule to never post any chapters under a thousand words.
967346 More description of action between dialogue. And more feeling behind that dialogue.
Honestly, I can tell you tried, and that is something that I cannot say for many stories on this site.
974904
What's your story? This is horrible! I think its an ugly excuse for a fanfic. To me... mine shouldn't deserve to be on fimfiction!
ITS FANTASTIC
>>RainbowShades
Thank you so much for your kindness!
Hey! That's my element! Find your own!