- Member Since 30th Mar, 2018
- offline last seen 6 minutes ago
Universal Librarian
Just a tired Welshman with a penchant for writing. You can also catch me on TikTok! Now with added Ko-Fi!
Universal Librarian
Joined 30th Mar, 2018 ·
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Universal Librarian · 17k words · 69 5 · 841 views
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Universal Librarian · 3.5k words · 27 2 · 278 views
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I seriously hope they arent a replacement for the vault dweler, that would be an insult to the legend
8839340
Absolutely not! He's in there and doing his own thing. I've been deliberately avoiding bringing him in directly for now but he will get a mention in the next chapter and from then on his actions (and their consequences for the Wastelands) will have an effect on the Equestria Girls and their own adventure.
8839376
Ah I see now at first I thought he was docs assistant, but when I saw that he didnt mention having a son and girls having a somewhat simmilar encounters like in the game i thought that was the case. But I admit that i am very interested in how will they interact with the wasteland dwellers like moira, burke, BoS and others
like the chapter lengths.
8859686
Thanks! The next chapter will probably be a little shorter but I'm looking to average around 5k words per chapter
8860166
yeah 5-7K is my usual sweet spot, unless it's like Extradimensional Alien's flow (have u looked at his story?), then I can and will go up to 10-15K.
This should be interesting. There's room for all sorts of possibilities here and I can't wait to see what you come up with.
Seriously can't wait to see what you have in store here!
Honestly I wish I could write a Fallout crossover fic, but I don't think I have the chops for it...
I don't really have much to critique here. Grammar and spelling is solid, the story's interesting so far, and the characters are as I expected them to be more or less.
All in all everything's pretty good so far. Keep up the great work!
Power cutoff, always a wise thing to have for a experiment
So the Cromwells survived the apocalypse eh? figures..
And this is why I always make sure Mack dies
8888020
I hope I can meet your expectations!
As far as writing a fallout fic goes I'd say go for it, you'll never know if you can do it unless you try. If it goes well, brilliant! If not, at least you can get feedback and find out how to improve. Hope that helps!
8890542
I think everyone I know who's played fallout 3 kills Mack, he sucks!
8890770
If he wasnt stuck behind a glass barrier when you initially leave, I'd have killed him then too
Will this story have any sex scenes, implied or otherwise, where the woman does most or all of the work?
8893077
Short answer, yes.
Long answer, yes, but it'll be a little while. I'm planning on the story getting slowly more mature (read: violent and raunchy) as the girls explore more of the crapsack world of the capitol wasteland.
As far as sex scenes go, there will definitely be implied ones of several varieties. Explicit scenes depend on whether my readers want that and how well I write them as that's something I've never tried before.
'Tis a lie! It's obviously their fluff!
pre00.deviantart.net/7e00/th/pre/i/2016/366/8/0/why_pinkie_pie_is_pink_by_tmntsam-datqxd2.png
In my runthrough of FO3 I got pretty far into game and never ran into Burke. Does he really appear that early?
And that's why Pinkie would make an excellent companion. I bet with her around, carrying stuff around won't be a problem anymore
nathannelsonross.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/vaultboyoverencmessedwithgreen.png
Alright, good sir I believe you deserve some feedback on this piece.
If I'm being honest, I initially thought this was going to be mediocre. It took me a while to become fully vested in the fic- the writing seemed a bit awkward, and I was having a hard time letting the words flow smoothly enough to create a mental image of the events you were trying to portray. But I'm glad to say I was proved wrong. Around the third chapter, the story improved remarkably. The characterization is fairly accurate, the diction is not awkward, contrived, overly artificial, nor is it overly verbose. It's just the right type of speech I would expect from the Canterlot High Students. When you couple the nice writing with the entertainment, you really make this fic good. You may be telling a modified version of Fallout 3's events, but you focus on the girls enough, and you flesh out their struggles well enough that I don't feel anything is missing. Rather, it all plays out in my head, as if I were watching a movie. When you can connect with the characters on an emotional level, comprehend their struggles, and visualize the events in a cinematic fashion, you've found yourself a gem of a fic. And so far, I think I've found quite a nice read here.
All in all, bravo sir.
Also, I know you've been thinking about sex scenes in this fic, and that concerns me. I find it hard to believe that any of the canterlot high girls would engage in sexual activity with some wasteland degenerate. This makes me anxious about the prospects of a sex scene. But hey, that's just me.
8899545
She would also give you cupcakes
8899538
You can find Mr Burke in Moriarty's saloon the first time you enter. He's sat in a little alcove to the right, if you really want to you can even make blowing up Megaton the very first thing you do after leaving the vault
8899662
First of all i'd like to thank you for the feedback, it is very much appreciated and I hope I can maintain or improve on this standard as the story progresses.
I understand your concern about the sex scenes. I'm not planning on adding any that involve the canterlot high girls for quite some time simply because it's not something they would go around and do under almost any circumstances. When it finally does occur it'll hopefully make sense as to why she/they have ended up doing that rather than just some fling with a random wastelander.
8899662
Hymn .... i don't see any potential hook ups until minimum rivet city and bos introduced. I could see rd and aj going after bos guys ..... sunset could hook up with twi or a oc or both sunset shouldn't be weirded out by herds. Rarity and the mysterious stranger oc version no 40+ year old version you could make him his successor. Fluttershy is tough an oc maybe or the lone wanderer after amada kicks him to the curb for good. Pinkie gotta go raider oc she befriends who frees her after capture.
8900409
For the moment the girls have higher priorities than that. Their focus for now is on finding James and figuring out a way home. Of course if you know Fallout 3 then you know that events are coming that may.... complicate things.
8900409
You forgot twilight.
8900432
There's a lot that happens in this game. How do you decide what you're going to tackle and when?
8900682
I've actually planned it out in stages to an extent
I'm going through it as if the Lone Wanderer has gone charging off after James (understandably) and is single-mindedly ploughing through the main quest line. The girls are (mostly) less headstrong and more concerned with safety and supplies so they are going to be slower to catch up but I have planned out how and when they are going to catch up. Basically I'm just trying to follow the steps in the most logical progression with a few random encounters thrown in.
8900682
No muhaha I'm all for twi/sun wether a third person is to be included is the real question. Also anyone who states timber as a potential love interest for sci twi needs to be taken out back and shot. First warning sign he's a camp counselor meaning he's a adult with a job ....mkay.. trying to pick up teenage campers...... it's like a teacher dating a student. For those who say he's a teenager you can't become a camp counselor without certification which requires you to at least be a intern for credits as part of your major from college.... hence adult. Which takes upto 4 years for those interested. I swear a brony works for them and somehow had his oc included in the movie. Sorry sore subject ... sci twi/ sunset all the way.
8900432
You just started the story I don't expect romance ..... or lust ...... until atleast 200k words unless this'll be a short fic then 80k ... i mean if they started sleeping around the first month or two they are there I'd be shocked. I'm reading this for the story not just for the clop.... I'm enjoying it so far. I'm just surprised .... the girls became friends with amada and james .... but it sounds like .... adam? Was it .... hasn't had any contact with them ever. When they get to the reentry to vault 101 and amada throws adam to the curb after using him can't wait to see the girls reactions.
8900761
I don't see this being a short fic at the moment, so many different scenarios to write and I'm honestly having way too much fun with it!
I've sort of got it in my head that the Lone Wanderer sort of kept himself to himself while he was in the vault I feel like the game implied that Amata was his only real friend so out of the equestria girls I suppose the only ones he would have had a lot of contact with would be Fluttershy (working in the clinic) and Pinkie Pie (it's Pinkie Pie).
And yes, I do have something rather special planned for Trouble on the Homefront..... :)
So... Like the map room in Twilight's castle?
Well, ain't that a kick in the head.
8912239
Almost exactly like the map room in twilight's castle, only instead of finding friendship problems it picks up any equestrian magic
Just be grateful that the Capital Wasteland doesn't have these things
i.imgur.com/iJvPBAO.jpg
Fuck these things, they are worse than a pack of nothing but Alpha Deathclaws.
8890770
Never played Fallout 3, but if I ever do, Mack is going the way of Cook-cook, dead, beaten until he has no limbs left, and then five more bullets for good measure
8912290
For the life of me, I fucking run away when I see these things.
Also, oh my, fluttershy
8889526
The who's, is that some big American family or something cause I've never heard of them here.
Considering she's from peaceful Equestria, and just saw a dudes head get blown off, this is to be expected.
I feel like the legion of steel is going to have the opposite reaction to the girls then the church of atom
8912899
No, back in the 90's - 2000's the name Cromwell popped up a bit in stories that were more along the lines of supernatural in tone overall.
So do you have an idea of how long the story is gonna be or are your just kind of seeing where it goes? I'm just curious because I personally don't plan ahead and generally don't have an ending in mind when I start writing.
8921033
There are certain events I want to put in and I have a definite ending planned and ready, it just depends on how long it takes me to get there and what other ideas I have for this fic along the way
You have Capitol (the building) Wasteland in your short summary. You want Capital (the city)
8926672
Thanks for pointing that out! Should be corrected now.
So is fluttershy gonna get a legendary alpha albino deathclaw named angel as a pet. I'd really like to see that. I don't see her being able to kill but I don't see her being against it killing to eat. Carnivores gotta eat too ... law of nature.
8926869
Hmmm, dropping Fluttershy in old olney does sound like a fun idea......
Wonder what happened to that water guy outside megaton
Btw. Hopefully, they would catch up to adam, but maybe later in the game (like when he finds his dad in vault 112 or something), when he already made a name for himself.
8926961
I was going to write him in when they first arrived at megaton, but couldn't really work him into the flow. As for when they go outside?
I forgot. Woops! I've written a large and abusive note on my rough plan to include him when they get back, hopefully that'll remind me!
Speaking of plans they will catch up to Adam eventually. He will have certainly made a name for himself at this point, and their reunion is going to see more than a few sparks flying (both literally and metaphorically)
Arefu, huh? This ought to be fun...