• Published 4th Mar 2018
  • 2,844 Views, 42 Comments

Twilight Doesn't - Coyote de La Mancha



Some mares are attracted to stallions. Some like other mares. But Twilight isn’t attracted to anypony at all. And you know what? That’s fine.

  • ...
6
 42
 2,844

Just Watching the Sun Rise

“You know, I always wondered what the exact difference was between a debacle and a calamity.” Twilight’s tone was thoughtful. “Now I think I know. Tonight… was a debacle.”

Applejack chuckled. “I’ll say. Never seen Fluttershy like that. Nor seen Rarity so ticked off. Madder’n a wet hen—”

There was an indignant cluck from nearby.

Applejack sighed. “Sorry, Melinda. No offence.”

The two ponies were leaning against the wooded fence next to one another, facing the East. Neither of them had slept the previous night. While the Grand Galloping Gala was generally expected to last well into the early morning, their first experience had ultimately ended in total chaos.

So, once the dust had settled, the six friends had spent hours hanging out with Spike. They’d let him show them the sights by way of apology for forgetting him in their earlier excitement. It was generally acknowledged that time with Spike had, in fact, been the highlight of the night.

Now it was hours even after that. Once Spike was safely asleep in the library, Applejack had walked home with Twilight accompanying her. Behind them, Sweet Apple Acres was just starting to stir.

“And I never saw Princess Celestia like she was tonight,” Twilight mused. “I mean, I’m glad she was happy – it was the happiest I’ve ever seen her, aside from when Princess Luna returned. But in all the years I’ve been her student, she always seemed so serene. So formal, almost aloof. Now, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. She wanted the party disrupted?”

“Maybe she just wanted to see that snot-nose nephew a’hers get his comeuppance,” Applejack suggested. “I gotta say, I weren’t too impressed with him myself. When I think a’ what that critter said about my apple fritters, it still makes my blood boil. Not to mention how he treated Rarity.”

“Yeah. I can only imagine what it must be like, having your heart broken like that.”

“Well, now, I don’t know as I’d go that far.” Applejack rolled her eyes a little. “You gotta bear in mind, this is Rarity. An’ much as I do love her to death, she can kinda be a…”

“Drama queen?” Twilight offered.

“Yeah, little bit. Still, I suppose it must be disappointin’, havin’ your cap set for a fella an’ findin’ out he’s such a jerk. Be worse’n bein’ told off from the start.”

Twilight looked out at the dawn. “I suppose. I’ve never had the experience.”

“Never been turned down, or never asked a jerk?”

“No, I mean I’ve never asked.”

“Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. But you’ve been asked.”

Twilight shrugged. “I suppose.”

Applejack nodded. “Yeah, that’s about where I’m at. But Rarity...”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “I do declare, I’ve never seen a mare with such demandin’ tastes in a fella’s set-up an’ get-up.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “Meaning?”

“Well, let’s just say a pony’s gotta be able to afford her. Now, don’t get me wrong,” she added at Twilight’s frown, “I ain’t a-callin’ her a gold-digger. That gal’d give her own tail ta help a critter out, an’ we were both there when she did. But Celestia knows, she is a mare who wants for pamperin’. Them as can’t, need not apply.

“Me, I ain’t so demandin’,” Applejack mused, her own gaze returning eastward. “All I want’s somepony I know I can love, an’ know they love me back. Somepony I can wake up with in the mornin’ and watch ‘em sleep a li’l afore I get up.”

She smiled. “Somepony I can trust with my heart, even when times’r bad, an’ who smiles when I touch their mane. The rest is kinda negotiable, y’know?”

Then her smile faded, and she went on, “But me an’ Sweet Apple Acres, we’re a package deal. They wouldn’t have ta buck apples or paint the barn, I can do all that myself. But to be with me, they’d have ta move in here. The farm is a big parta my life, Twi. I’ll support ‘em in all their endeavours, but I need them ta support me in mine.”

Applejack sighed, concluding, “And for the few ponies I’ve ever looked at, that’s been a deal breaker. A big one.”

Twilight stared. “But that’s crazy! It’s so beautiful here, how…”

Applejack shrugged. “I dunno. But that’s the way it is. I reckon Big Mac might get hitched someday. Maybe he’ll move out, or maybe they’ll raise their kids here. I’d like that. Apple Bloom’ll find somepony, too, like as not. An’ maybe she’ll move off somewhere to be with ‘em, though I’d miss her somethin’ fierce. But fer me, I’ll live out my life right here on the farm, with an apple tree on my grave when I pass.”

She smiled again. “An’ that suits me right down to the ground.”

The breeze toyed with their manes as it went by, smelling pleasantly of apple blossoms and green grass.

After a time, Applejack said, “So, what do you look for?”

“When?”

“In a partner.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Um, I don’t.”

Applejack cocked her head. “You mean like, it’ll happen when it happens?”

“No, I mean like, I’m not looking for anything to happen.”

Twilight hesitated for a moment, and then took the plunge. “I’m not attracted to anypony. Mares, Stallions, whatever. I’m not into it.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m asexual.”

Applejack blinked. “Oh. Well, alright then.”

Twilight let out her breath.

“You okay there?”

Relieved and glad, Twilight leaned her head on Applejack’s shoulder. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

Smiling, Applejack leaned her own head on Twilight’s. “Any time, sugar cube.”


After a while, when they were side-by-side again, Twilight’s gaze turned wistful.

“Two bits for your thoughts,” Applejack said.

“Oh, I was just remembering when I tried to talk to my mom about it,” Twilight replied. “It didn’t go so well.”

“She wanted grandfoals someday, huh?”

Twilight shrugged. “It wasn’t even that. She was just so convinced that I could never have a fulfilling life unless I was doing it.”

She slipped into an impression of her mother. “‘Oh, honeeeey, I just know you’d like it if you tried it…’”

Applejack stared at her. “Seriously?”

“Uh-huh. I tried to explain to her that I didn’t want to try it, that I was perfectly happy without…” She sighed. “She just couldn’t get it. I mean, she wasn’t mean about it, and she tried to be supportive towards the end… but just the same, I walked away thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me, after all.”

“Sounds pretty rough. How old were ya?”

“Thirteen. And yeah, I was pretty wrecked. Fortunately, I’d been Princess Celestia’s student for a while by then, and I talked to her about it when I got back from break.”

“Yeah, I gotta say, the Princess is a fine lady. She getcha back on track?”

Twilight nodded. “Uh-huh. She knew exactly where I was coming from, in fact. Nopony brings it up in Canterlot, so I didn’t know until we talked. But it’s no secret that she’s not into sex either. Never had a lover, never going to. And perfectly happy.”

“I reckon that musta helped.”

Twilight grinned. “Well, it’s hard to think you’re a total misfit when your mentor is the same way.”

“Huh.” Applejack considered this. “Wish Rainbow’d had that kinda luck.”

Twilight frowned. “Why, what happened?”

“Oh, it was a while back. But when she was a little filly, I guess she got seven different shades of hay over bein’ inta mares.”

“Rainbow Dash? But every pony she’s ever looked at—”

“…has been a stallion,” Applejack finished for her. “Sure. But Cloudsdale ain’t like Canterlot, nor even like Ponyville. Farther away from the Princess, maybe. An’ Rainbow stood out, in a lotta ways. So it didn’t matter if she was, or she wasn’t. It was just somethin’ ta call a pony like it was an insult, an’ fer the older foals ta pick on her about. An’ they did.”

She shook her head. “Got into some nasty fights I guess, when she was little. If you can call three-on-one or five-on-one a fight.”

Twilight stared in disbelief. “That’s… horrible.”

“Well, times’re better nowadays. Just the same, though: you got a death wish, you just start talkin’ down ‘bout other folks’ preferences around her. One time she overheard a couple’a fillies givin’ Apple Bloom a rough time on her way home, sayin’ stuff about her an’ Sweetie Belle. Way I hear it, Dash might as well have stabbed them bullies as scared ‘em to death. One of ‘em, Silver Spoon, she went on about how she was gonna tell her daddy afore she ran off. But, nuthin’ came of it. So either she didn’t, or he decided she was in the wrong.”

They watched the sun rise together a while longer, in comfortable silence.

“Well, I better get goin’,” Applejack said at last. “Got a lotta chores ta do. But, listen.”

She put her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, and Twilight turned to be met by Applejack’s eyes as the orange mare spoke to her in a voice both serious and gentle.

“Comes down to it, Twi… you ever change your mind about farm livin’, you just let me know. Okay?”

Twilight smiled. “Aw, thanks, AJ.”

They hugged briefly, and Applejack trotted into the barn. Twilight went back to contemplating the dawn for a moment, before her head whipped back around to stare at the barn in wonder.

“Wait, what?”

Author's Note:

.
.
.
.
.
.
This continuity continues in In Vino Veritas.
The seminal tale for this continuity can be found here.

Additionally, there are two beautiful audio renditions of my beloved little story available on YouTube.
Sparrow 9642’s reading of this tale for Pride Month 2020 can be found here.
Agent Fluffy’s reading of this tale for Pride Month 2021 can be found here.

Sparrow’s version uses a team of talented voice actors, while Agent handles both voices and narration alone! All of them do a wonderful job bringing my little tale to life, each version offering a slightly different interpretation. I recommend them both very highly.
:twilightsmile:
.
.
And for those of you who have already read Cupid Mark Crusaders, now you know what would have happened if the CMCs hadn’t come home early from summer camp. And if you haven’t read it yet, feel free to check it out after you read
In Vino Veritas! :twilightsmile:

Comments ( 42 )

And a sneaky barn door reference at the end.

Cute story and it’s a nice take on Twilight.

This was nice

After AJ's final comment I had to read her little spiel again. I take my hat off to you. Brilliantly done.

8774176
Thank you. I admit, I was a little concerned when I posted this that readers might think Applejack was asking for something Twilight couldn't give. It's so easy for something to seem clear to the author and not to the audience. Very glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

Pretty nice story I'm not sure I understand the ending

I snorted at the end.
Well played, well played.

I appreciate the discourse on sexuality: yes, your sexuality is valid; yes, some people might struggle to understand that; no, there is nothing wrong with you.

Loved this; it sparked a little warmth in my heart :)

So. Is AJ hitting on Twilight here? Cause that's what I'm getting off the end there. I did like the bit with Velvet trying to talk to Twilight about her, thing.

Better than alot I've read.

8775218
Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Well, "hitting on" (when I've heard it used) usually has sexual implications; this was more like a proposal.

8774687 and 8775218
After describing what she looks for in a SO relationship, Applejack basically assured Twilight that yes, her asexuality was completely accepted, and yes, AJ is in love with her and is inviting her to move in and have such a relationship if she ever feels so inclined.

Personally, I think "amazement" is a completely valid response. This being Twilight, studying the situation meticulously for a while is also quite likely. :twilightsmile:

8774865
Thank you.

The warmth made it all worth while; the snort made my evening. :rainbowlaugh:

Not bad, not bad at all. I hope Twilight could find enjoyment with somepony someday. She could enjoy a healthy relationship with Applejack as she understands what Twilight wants in a relationship.

8777061
*nods* I can see it going either way - the two of them getting romantically partnered, or not - and still being healthy for them both. I haven't made up my mind where it'll go in the overarching story line, and neither character is in haste. Twilight doesn't need to be "with" someone to be happy... but if she were to partner with anyone, it would be someone like AJ. And I imagine the two of them will always have a very close and special friendship, even by Mane 6 standards, regardless. :twilightsmile::ajsmug:

Oh wow, this was excellent! Short and sweet.

I always feel grateful when someone tackles a character being ace and handles it well, because there's so little ace content out there, anywhere, heh. So thank you for that! :twilightsmile:

And the subtle TwiJack is the icing on the cake. :ajsmug:

8778150
Writing this was a real pleasure; I'm just happy you and others enjoy it. Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Short and sweet, indeed. Thanks for writing this!

8938755
It was my pleasure. And thank you. :twilightsmile:

8774052
As an addendum, I only recently got around to looking up what a "barn door reference" was. Well, now I know. :rainbowlaugh:

Niiiice.

9000202
There totally needs to be more stories about asexual ponies.

9000596
Agreed. I think it's a little weird that there aren't, when there are so many tales about every other orientation. I have Twilight and Celestia as aces in my own continuity thus far (Tia is also an aromantic and agender person, while Twi is not), but seriously, why are so few people painting on this canvas?

Perhaps that will change with time. I'm certainly writing more, anyway. :twilightsmile:

9000809
And that's great! I've written a few acespec ponies myself, and founded an acespec group just yesterday, too. It's become really hard to find a lot of ace stories that I haven't written at this point, so I was pleased to see this little gem.

Got a link to that Celestia story too?

9000816
Well, her asexuality isn't the focus, but she is in a larger story I am writing. She moves out of the narrative spotlight for a while, and then back into it in the next chapter (almost done).

I suspect there will be a conversation between Tia and Twi on such matters in a later story, though.

9000823
Ooh, I'll be keeping track of it, then! Thanks!

Very nice -- you handle the characterisations of both Twilight and AJ well, and this definitely makes a nice change from the usual brand of relationship story! Keep at it!

9044975
Thank you; I shall certainly do my best! :twilightsmile:

Twilight is certainly an interesting case. Even in canon, her orientation seems to include an anthropoid component. (That or it was the pubescent ape hormones messing with her.) In any case, lovely friendshipping scene with a nice bit of incidental background detail.

Also:

“Got into some nasty fights I guess, when she was little. If you can call three-on-one or five-on-one a fight.”

Twilight stared in disbelief. “That’s… horrible.”

"Yeah, them eight pegasi never quite flew right again."

Eh, I picked up on what AJ was saying pretty quickly. Still made for a good gag.

All in all, for a brief character/headcanon piece, this was quite sweet.:twilightsmile:

Now I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke broke.

Stories like this remind me that I can read the same basic concept of simple coming out stories over and over again and receive the same hit of seretonin each time

Enjoyed sparrows dramtic reading? :)

This story reminds of two things:

1) It reminds me of when one of my college roommates came out to me. Wait, sorry, I need to take a detour first.

I lived with four other people starting from sophomore year in college. We got a two-bedroom apartment and some bunk beds and that was space enough, and it made rent cheap. After one year, though, we changed apartments, and I ended up working on the problem of how to optimally arrange furniture in the larger bedroom (which is the one I was in). After measuring everything, I noticed that the larger closet (because for some reason that bedroom had two closets) was just barely longer than the bunk bed, and so I could hardly resist the idea to take off the sliding doors and make use of that extra closet space. It wasn't deep enough to put the bed all the way in, but it still helped to open up floor space, and Logan (the resident of the bottom bunk) was in agreement that this was a reasonable place to put our bed. So naturally for a while after we set this up, the running joke was that Logan and I were in the closet together. Of course, eventually it got old enough that the joke died and stopped being repeated.

Anyway, jump ahead to a day or two before senior year began (we're still in the same apartment). Logan and I went to the nearby pizza place to get dinner, as we sometimes did; it's a pretty good pizza place, and the rest of our roommates were either otherwise engaged or not in town yet on that particular night. At some point during dinner, during a lull in our conversation, Logan told me, apropos of nothing, that he's gay. I gave some noncommittal acknowledgement along the lines of "Cool," and then after the briefest of pauses I figured it was only appropriate to respond by letting him know that I'm asexual. Then I had a thought about whatever it was that we had been talking about before and re-initiated our previous topic, since evidently neither of us had anything else to say about orientations in that moment. And that's the story of how Logan and I came out of the closet together.

2) It reminds me of how my friend's mom thinks I'm a sexual deviant (so I'm told). Although, full disclosure, I might be misremembering the context of that secondhand remark; she might have been talking about me being a brony rather than talking about me being ace. (Definitely though asexuality was the context when, I'm told, she said she simply couldn't understand the idea of not being attracted to anybody.) But in any case, I find her lack of comprehension amusing; her opinion isn't exactly important to me, and it's not like I'm going to deny that by some perfectly reasonable definitions I am a sexual deviant, whether or not she's got the right reasons to think so.

I was definitely able to relate to Twilight me being an asexual myself. I also really appreciate how you're able to make something that can be more of a sensitive topic into a quick One-Shot story, just like how the old episodes of MLP were. 10/10

Here you go Coyote! Here's my fanfic reading of your story! Youtube Reading

“Wait, what?” indeed.

HAHAHA that end reminds me of a time I asked a girl out in college. We were buddies and I figured I’d try for more and I asked her out. She agreed and I was super excited. Then she called me about 15 minutes later and was like, “Did you just ask me out on a date?” and went on to gently let me down.

honestly, it’s one of the funniest interactions with someone I’ve ever had.

10957380
I can dig it; I’ve been on the other side of that more than once.
“Well, that was cool. Oh. Wait, did they mean...?” :rainbowderp:

Ah, the joys of human communication. :rainbowlaugh:

Login or register to comment