• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen Jan 10th, 2019

Girlysquirrely


Comments ( 13 )

its great nice wrok on all 3 chapters.:twilightsmile::yay: looking forward to chapter 4.

Comment posted by diablo4000 deleted Feb 20th, 2018

I think someponies are downvoteing the story for what it is rather than actually reading it.

8750216
likely, although more story between "plot" sessions would not hurt

8750238
The 'plot' sessions arent every chapter and there is an ok ammount of story so..

I apologise it's difficult typing on my phone. This is more of a shott story. Clop fiction mostly. Will work on the length! Any other things i could improve on?

8750256
it's a fair story, i just have read authors who have written more detailed stories so i MIGHT be a bit spoiled (said stories being on average over 5k words per chapter, a few chapters over 20k long)

8750347
I agree! I'll probably make it up to yalby having a crap ton kf chapters. Just of the shorter variety. And any other works in the future will probably have longer chapters

It is good, but I highly suggest that you put in more filler, point in case from a couple chapters ago, Twilight mentioned that there was a complication, what complication, and how does it affect the story. As the audience, wee need to know these things, as it builds plot development and character depth.

8751137
At the end of the last chapter. Aj realized that the complication, or problem wasn't as small as twi had led her to believe. Aka fluttershys stuck with a dick. And an innuendo for the size. However moving forward i will fix this! And add more details!

Rainbow started out until shr noticed Twilight hadn't moved.

i think their is a small mistake and hope to have a update again

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