kalash93
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media1.tenor.com/images/c2a0dd40e02c95328cda2fdbaed472ff/tenor.gif?itemid=4982365
A couple of edits needed but I like where this is going.
Hereβs a part that needs editing.
Something tells me Luna was his previous client...
I've seen enough failed relationships when one partner tryed to "help" or "save" the other. Tempest's case... Well I wonder where will she bury the body - Canterlot's on a mountainside after all.
What Fizzy needs is a psychotherapist, not a prostitute. Easy to mix up, I know.
And oh boy, you better believe that the shrink's grocery list will begin with almonds, cashews and phistashios.
Wow
She really needs a kind compassionate soul to help her.
Well damn I like it so far couple errors but overall pretty good. i don't normally read this kind of story but overall it's one of my favorite so far hope there is more character development with tempest because she seems a bit over the top. That my opinion on that. I say you've got 8/10 rating for it so far.
π
I'd really like to see what happens next.
Thank you all for commenting! The new chapter goes live in a few hours.
8734514
Thanks, Darkstone, seeing to those now.
8734795
Maybe next year. But she does have a royal harem and we haven't heard from Just Fact in a while.
8735042
You wouldn't be wrong, but what's more fun to read? A romp in bed or 19 hours of psychotherapy alternating between sobbing inconsolably and talking about feelings? I think you'd probably love Cadance In A Minor by Isseus. Go read that NOW, even if you have already.
8735192
I'd say that and a huge supply of vodka.
8736204
Wait a few more hours.
8736092
Laconic as ever.
8736671
Drinking doesn't solve problems, it's just a way to avoid them. Kinda depressing, I prefer to see what Sought Touch is planning to do to help her.
I might have underestimated you.
Though I still believe that she's a type that leaves no witness of her weakness. And she still got a shiv nearby.
ππππππππππ
Ok Iβll stop now.
8736807 8737170 8738331
Sorry about not having the chapter up yet. It'll either be up in a couple hours or go live tomorrow morning. Today has been very busy. Sorry. Thanks for the comments.
Also, you might want to remove the picture of yourself as your avatar. For a lot of people, they don't want to imagine the author when they're reading a sex story. It makes it kind of awkward. And personally, I don't want to know what the authors of any clopfiction I read look like.
8740016
Thats a tad bit rude don't you think? I know its your opinion and all but its just a picture, so maybe be nicer about it next time? You did insult clop writers everywhere with that "I dont want to know what the authors of any clopfiction i read look like." If you see what a clopfiction writer looks like, it makes no difference. Just be happy there there to write for you.
8740016
Comrade, his name is Kalash. And something makes me think he didn't mean the rapper of a type of bread when he picked it.
Back on topic, tho. It always pleases me to see how a fic transcends oneself, and although my first impression of this one was wrong, I'm glad I've mistaken. Keep up the good job, man.
MFW I get three comments and they're not about the story.
8740395
Thank you, Techno.
8740498
Ocelloid, your first comment was genuine uncalled for. I have always used a photograph of myself for my fimfiction avatar. i did it when I signed up and it has been so since then. Yes I'm named for the rifle. The only thing that gives me a bigger hardon than a big titty anthro mare is an AKM loaded with an extra large magazine holding 40 rounds of 123grain M67 type FMJ's, and mounted with a bayonet.
I do thank you for being continually very favorably surprised by this story, and I thank you for your comment on MEGA Covefe.
8740726
Huh? I thought the profile pic is more of a goof. I mean, look at mine, I purposefully made it look as bad as possible.
If you have any strong position about yours, well, good for you, god bless you.
8741040
Whoa, people here take me way too seriously.
8740016
I fap to Kalash's avatar every night.
I love me a blonde commie!
8740726
Np, always happy to help a fellow writer :)
Π‘ΠΊΠΎΠ»ΡΠΊΠΎ ΠΆΠ΅Π½ΡΠΈΠ½Ρ Π½Π΅ ΠΊΠΎΡΠΌΠΈ, ΠΎΠ½Π° ΠΏΡΠΎΠΆΡΡΡ ΠΈ ΠΎΠΏΡΡΡ Π±ΡΠ΄Π΅Ρ ΡΠ°Π·Π³ΠΎΠ²Π°ΡΠΈΠ²Π°ΡΡ.
Gonna need a period there, dude.
Honestly, this is quite the interesting fic. Clop is nice and all, but seeing Sought slowly pry open Fizz's shell is actually quite nice.
8740726 Is the kalash really a type of gun?
8762158
Originates in Russia named by it's the inventor Mikhail Kalashnikov. Here's an archive picture of him with his baby:
cdn5.img.ria.ru/images/102354/40/1023544085.jpg
Tough shit, can withstand sand, water, mud. Do you really not know what AK-47 is?
Mozambique even has one on their flag.
But, back on story topic, damn it. Man, you're doing good.
Tempest's really in character, and I loved pizza roll scenes both in this and previous chapter.
Really looking forward to the moment Sooth has to leave, because I feel like she's gonna miss him a lot.
Poor thing is as lonely as a Mars rover, and... although this therapy does work for her, it better not become too much of an attachment.
He already is a mercenary, it's just his sword is different.
A friend of my once fell in love with a hooker. That didn't end well. He spent a month stalking her and thinking how can he change his and her life so she wouldn't need to sell her body, yet he didn't know that she's actually OK with her job, and sees him as nothing more than a creepy stalker.
PS, yo. Proofread.
PPS screw the drama, I want to see Overly Attached Tempest. This is comedy gold.
You should mention the word Creampie for the next chapter.
8764124
Why? I'm aiming for something a bit more intimate.
8762158
Yup. Read my response to Ocelloid below.
8763111
Thanks for this spectacular comment. I couldn't parse your Russian, though. GoogleTranslate? I haven't really figured out what Tempest is going to do after. I just know she won't be making puppy dog eye at him. I am thinking about writing more about Sought Touch. He's a fascinating character on his own.
8746885
Thanks, Camolot. And the next chapter comes out today or tomorrow.
8772392
Nah, the line in Russian is just a silly joke.
It's kind of rephrasing the old saying "no matter how much you feed a wolf, it still wants to run into the forest", but with Tempest.
I wrongly assumed that you speak Russian, judging by the name and appearance.
8777302
I do speak Russian. I just couldn't figure out even what you were trying to say.
PS: New chapter is live!
8764124
Cloppy time!
Yaw sad that there is only one more chapter.
8783766
Who knows, maybe afterwards there'll be an epilogue?
Hate to see it end, but that's why you save it in your favorites. So you can read it all over again.
I loved the story! Hate to see it end
πππππ
Nice story man, like everyone else hate to see it end.
Hey there.
Now that I'm through this story I can say I enjoyed it.
Not for the sex in it, but for the feelings you put in it. You captured the mind of a deeply hurt person and showed it that there is good in the world.
It wasn't overly long or complicated, but that is good. Just the right amount of feeling in the bitter mix of a scarred soul.
One thing I noticed was that there was sometimes a she for a ge or a her for a him, but other than those minor things everything was good.
Stay strong and stay standing.
Dragon
8793118
Thanks. That was exactly the point, actually. It was meant to be a hopeful story about surviving the suck, because there are good things to live for, even if so much bad has happened to you. I went back through and proofed it to cap it off. There's just one last little surprise to add in.
8786722 8785765 8784597
Why thanks. I got a little surprise for ya'll...
(looks at synopsis) But, doesn't Tempest only have one scar?
.....so?......WHEN ARE WE GRTTING MORE!? I'm not freaking out! I just want more good reads!
Well. I did like the little epilouge.
And as I spy with my little eye you snuck in some german here. ... okay BrΓΆtchen was kinda hard to overlook.
Nevertheless a nice aftertouch to the story and a really good closure.
Dragon
8816304
The story is over, bratan, but I have a ton more content where that's from. If you like this kind of plot with porn, odds are you'll love Nights In Pink Velvet, which I am just about to release the next chapter of. I'm glad you really like this story and it makes me smile wider than anything else as an author.
8818648
How could you miss the German and the Russian? LOL.
I just couldn't leave Tempest and Sought alone. What happens next is up to them. I wanted to give a brief look at the real guy behind the character and show maybe what he'd like and how his life is, as well as the impact his clients can have on him, what his hopes and dreams are, and so on. This fic walked a fine line between realism and romanticizing. I'd like to think that the ending, especially with him wanting to have a home love and to have sex outside of work would balance it out closer to the realistic end of what I intended to be a rather rose-tinted take on the healing power of emotional connection and physical intimacy. The most intimate part wasn't the sex, it was the crying afterwards.
I wanted to give some realistic closure to Tempest. She's doing better now and is at least going to try living. One good round in bed won't unfuck her for good, and nothing will, but being made to feel loved and valued as a person will do a lot to help her be more functional and perhaps happier. Maybe it'll work out with the guy who keeps hitting on her, maybe it won't. The point is she's going to give living a chance. I also wouldn't say that she and Sought would be shipped together. I don't see him ever really being comfortable with an admitted killer, and they really interact more like friends than lovers anyway
Anyway, thanks for the feedback. If you like plot with porn stories, I have another one ongoing called Nights In PInk Velvet that's due for an update in the next couple of days. I also would have to recommend An Escort's Journal by Diso Knight. I decided to end the story here, actually, partially becayse there's a similar ish thread running through that one, and he's a way better writer than I'll ever be.
Lastly, Mars Miner did some great art related to this fic. He did a commission showing what Sought Touch had to work with.
8740395
Well said.
Wonderfully done, haven't seen the movie yet and already you have me falling for her.
8964794
Awwww, thanks. Just remember that Tempest is a psychological dumpster fire with a long history of violence and established antisocial tendencies and issues with emotional regulation. Be sure to come back an comment again once you've seen the movie, K?
9008021
I plan on it.
You managed to write a porn story that's heartfelt, romantic, cute and deep as fuck. Bravo good sir, bravo!
Have a follow and a favorite, you earned it.
This was an excellent read. Really love how you dove into just how fucked up Tempest would be after that kind of life, and how she properly reacted when finally confronted with things like safety and gentleness. Makes my heart do all the warm fuzzies. Great work here. 10/10
I don't usually comment on stories like this
but this was so fucking sweet...π
11778112
Aww, thank you. Scar horse just needs a little love.
11781463
Mate, I think you misspelled "Scar horse needs a metric shitload of love and cuddles and support."
Tempest is so underrated and it kills me that she's barely represented on this site...