Forget not that I am a derp.
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It's been a week since Zephyr Breeze graduated, and he shows no sign of leaving his parents' house. Fluttershy takes it upon herself to find him a job where he can apply his newfound skills, and a Bearer of Harmony certainly has connections at her disposal.
Of course, said connection may not be so happy about some fancy college colt twice her age flapping on her turf.
An entry in Aragon's Comedy (Is Serious Business) contest.
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The description should probably not say "Zephyre". Other than that, it's pretty good!
So... Shall we talk about the flaming alicorn in the room?
A competent Zephyr Breeze? Needs the Alternate Universe tag.
Is this a reference to a particular Sunset Shimmer from another story series? This is great, but I feel like I'm missing out on something. Something that I may have put in a RL shelf and haven't gotten to yet.
Okay, I seriously feel as if I'm missing out on something here...
Okay, but how on earth has nobody thought to bring these two together in a story before?! Shame on all of us forever.
Cool! And full of humor! Congrats!
Well, if this is even semi-canon to the story that Sunset came from, it's nice to see that she's personable!
A sequel with the Manehattan CMC and Zephyr Breeze would likely be interesting... Maybe when the other (two?) need haircuts? *shrugs*
Really wondering what the Statue of Harmony looks like... I'd guess a torch-holding markless Alicorn... *shrugs*
----
Typo:
treat (me?) with a bit more respect?
Babs Seed is going to grow up into the hairdresser equivalent of Gordon Ramsay, isn't she?
Oh hi, Hiccup!
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... Can we get enough artists on that that it becomes a meme?
Who'd've thunk that mane therapy classes had a lesson on using magical alicorn-grade scissors?
And now I imagine the Babs and Zephyr adventures with the colorful residents of Manehattan...
You just made me kinda respect Zephyr Breeze close to the end.
And I have no idea how I should feel about that.
Of all the jokes in this, this one:
was the most unexpected.
I dunno. Considering that Manehattan is, well, Manehattan, and the fact that Chicago used to have a restaurant where people were paid to insult you, I feel like at least a few ponies would tip a sassy baby manestylist more. Especially since her accent would make that adorable.
I've wanted a fic based on this art for a while, and you went above and beyond that. Great work!
Huh. For some reason, I thought that was Luna.
Was a fun story! Hope it does well in the judging.
This was an absolute delight to read. The humor was spot-on.
The only real issue I had was that the actual mane-cut section seemed a bit... quick? In-universe, I mean. It seemed that Babs and Zephyr gave the alicorn a full-body, high-level makeover in the time it took to exchange maybe a few minutes' worth of conversation.
That was Sunset? Huh. I really wouldn't have guessed.
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vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/e/e4/Manehattan_S6E3.png/revision/latest?cb=20160403170213
There you go.
That was hilarious! Loved the humor, timing, and delivery.
Fluttershy...cover up your oats.
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)
Dude I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe after I read that part
(ironicly enough that happened to me once by my mom's cats went I was young
I thought that was some version of Sunset, but I didn't want to assume...
Fun story. Snarky Fluttershy is always a treat.
emerged
Snarky Fluttershy, badass Babs, actually competent Zephyr, and the alicorn Sunset from the Ashlands bad future? Awesome!
If nobody else wants to pick the low hanging fruit, let me supply the stock punchline.
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The intent was for the Sunset Satan outta nowhere to work as a standalone device to introduce the climax, but to also serve as a bonus for those who've read some of my other stories. (Specifically Then Goes the Neighborhood and its prequels.) tl;dr: Remember that last timeline Twilight and Starlight went to before we got Glimglam's "tragic" backstory? The one where nothing lived? My hypothesis is that Sunset caused that one, mostly because it turns out breaking the mirror between worlds turns the slow leak of magic into a burst dam, gushing out of Equestria faster than it can replenish. Sunset's out looking for anything that might save that world, or at least equine contact.
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He is capable of achieving things. He just needs the courage to actually try. As with his sister, one musical number won't completely change his personality.
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I know, right? Especially since the cover image has been around since June of 2016.
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It's definitely canon. The Wandering Sun moves through probability space, not sure what she's looking for but certain that she'll find it.
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Barber Shop Nightmares? There's a thought.
And it amused me to borrow that joke for the exact opposite of its usual effect.
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Knowing your Manehattan, those are quite colorful residents indeed.
And yeah, when it comes to cutting the sheets of plasma that are an alicorn's mane and tail, you're going to want the tribe that manufactures lightning and rainbows to handle that job.
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Possibly, though Mr. Shears would strongly disapprove if she did while he was in the shop.
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Watsonian explanation: Never underestimate the efficiency of an earth pony performing her special talent.
Doylist explanation: That entire scene was crafted a few hours before the deadline, so the pacing might be a touch off.
Can we please just have something like this as an episode? We haven't seen babs in a while, and more than a season without follow up on Zephyr is too much.
...........ummm.....what just happened?
It’s not everyday I get to read a fic about actually competent Zephyr Breeze in freakin’ Manehatten. Only reason I’m able to find fics set there is mainly because of Quillamore.
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In order:
• The events of "Flutter Brutter" transpire, including the Flutterparents letting Zephyr breeze stay at their place "for a few days."
• "For a few days" becomes "for a week." In the meantime, Fluttershy talks to Applejack, who gets in touch with Babs Seed's employer in Manehattan, who agrees to give Zephyr a shot.
• Fluttershy coaxes Zephyr out of their parents' home with all the grace and delicacy she shows when making bears take their medicine.
• Babs does not play well with others.
• Alternate-universe Sunset Satan burns through the barrier between worlds. This does not compare with the terror Zephyr lives with every day as the most useless member of his family, so he stallions up and does his freaking job.
Any questions?
A variant of Freeport Venture Sunset Shimmer?
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Hmmm, no, no I think it's best not to ask anymore questions.
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Okay, that makes sense, except for one thing. Sunset Satan was wearing Twilight's crown, right? But the Element of Magic is a starburst shape, not a crescent moon. Or does the Element take different forms in alternate realities?
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Not quite. Alternate timeline Element of Magic-infused she-demon rather than alternate timeline burning cyborg lich.
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Yes, but not solely because it was an alternate timeline. In the world that led to this Sunset, Twilight never became the Bearer of Magic. Moondancer did, and thus the Element took the form of her cutie mark. And at the Battle of Canterlot High, she failed where Twilight succeeded. (No offense meant towards Moony. The heroes always failed in Starlight's splinter timelines at some point or another. They had to, or Twilight wouldn't have found worlds where the villains were winning.)
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I want you to think about how awesome what you just wrote is!
Putting these two characters together as coworkers lends itself to a certain kind of conflict. But I guess you thought it was better to throw in a transdimensional fire god halfway through rather than play out that conflict in any sort of interesting way.
When in danger, Babs will use a co-worker as a shield.
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If I'm being honest, it's more like I lacked the time and space necessary to adequately explore the character dynamics and still get this submitted within the contest deadline. The word limit might also be a concern, depending on how I'd approach it. I actually had to scrap an outline that focused more on the conflicting emotional and physical maturity of the two leads because this is an entry for a comedy contest, and while that sort of in-depth exploration might make for good reading, it wouldn't be especially humorous.
Basically, blame Aragon.
In all seriousness, now that I've opened the floodgates, someone may explore these two interacting on a more serious basis, sans interdimensional demon queens of dust. That someone may even be me.
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"mainly because of Quillamore"
I'm actually recognized for something in this huge pool we call a fandom. Yay!
*ears pique*
Wasn't this exchange also in a recent SLS chapter? Toward Midnight, instead of Sunny?
I smiled a whole bunch while reading this. This isn't a character dynamic I'd ever have imagined working out, yet it feels so natural that I have to wonder why I never pictured it before.
The narrative is a bit hard to follow, though, starting with Sunset Shimmer's sudden appearance. I didn't even make the connection until I hit the author's note. Figure there's some context I'm missing, which made the scene itself... problematic, let's say.
But I'd still consider this a strong entry in the contest.
Whoa, Fluttershy doubling down! What's next, Zephyr being competent at his job?
Bwahahaha!
Speaking from experience? (I'm the oldest of four, so I wouldn't know.)
Also, some of Babs' dialog seems slightly tribalist. I'm not sure what to make of it.
I had thought for sure that the alicorn was Daybreaker who had become a separate entity until I read the AN. I guess it was She-demon Sunset if she had conquered the EG world. A bit confusing near the end, but enjoyable nonetheless.
Slap yourself.
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Still confused but eh don’t really read sunset shimmer fics
This was awesome. I'd love to see more interaction between Babs and Zephyr someday.
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Considering he actually earned his diploma at the end of his only episode, the many stories that like to portray him as though he hadn't learned any lessons are probably the ones that need an AU.
Laughed pretry hard at this. It's basically my attitude towards major plot events at the larp I attend since I'm a recent addition to the game. In the event of important person showing up, just stay calm and do whatever the hell they want. Or run. Or say you're going to do what they want, then run.
I actually thought the alicorn was some type of bad OC wandering through the universe...
You know, as someone who spends so much of his time writing stories with Sunset Shimmer as the protagonist, I would have thought I’d realized that alicorn was her before the author’s notes. Oh well. Interesting that she’s also the one that’s capable of (apparent) inter-timestream travel here.
Also shame on you for making me have to look up what a “dock” is.
The alicorn that read like a bad OC was evil Sunset? Knowing this makes the story 10x better! Enough to get a like and a fave! I was so scared when she appeared, thinking "Oh no, a bad OC!" but thankfully it was just evil Sunset.
Apparently I didn't notice this at all when it was posted. Oops. But that was fun. Best of luck in the contest!
I knew I would like this story...but I didn't expect to love it. You did a great job here and it would be fun to see a sequel or two! <3
that's has to be the first ghostbuster's 2 reference i have ever seen