• Member Since 12th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 5th, 2017

Pegasi will rule


Heya! I'm Nate, the fun loving Brony from CT! :D

Comments ( 433 )

get a proofreader cause your grammar is terrible beyond belief.
although i would like this to be continued so please do.

1016863
Sorry about that. I write really fast, so as to not lose my train of thought with the story. :twilightsheepish:
If people point out the mistakes, I'll eagerly fix them ASAP. Thanks for giving this a read. :twilightsmile:

1016876hmmm well at the start of the chapter you said "she" way too many times, also you put "here" instead of "hear".....
...
...
...
...
...could i proof read?

this is the only good Halo fanfic on this site. I commend you for this.
Your grammar is also a bit off but it is small enough so it may be ignored.

1016918
Hehe. Thanks! Yeah, I write really fast so mistakes are there, but if people point them out and where they are, I'll fix 'em ASAP. :twilightsmile:
And you really think it's the best one?! No foolin'? :rainbowderp: That's awesome to hear! :yay: Thank you so much!

1016882
I guess so. I'm kind of new to this, so I don't know the process of making someone a proof reader. :twilightsheepish:

1016939
Because i don't like it when the other Halo crossovers introduce a large amount of covenant then they're all like "ERMAGERD EQUESTRIA IS DEAD!"

And, if IraqLobstah disses on this story, ignore him, he goes out of his way to post hate for halo fics, like a biased youtube commentor.

Edit: currently tied for first on 'Best Halo Fic' because i forgot about the one with Jorge.

1016876

That's not preventing you from going back and editing after you write it down.

Also, haven't read it yet, but I hope you've taken into account that the Gamma Company Spartan IIIs need a special drug cocktail to prevent them from going nuts.

1016959
Oh I know that. I read Ghosts of Onyx about three times. :twilightsmile: Next chapter is a flashback, so it will be addressing some of these instances. :raritywink:

Comment posted by Pegasi will rule deleted Aug 30th, 2013

oh this here, is good. :pinkiehappy:

I really enjoyed reading the introduction to this story. Please go on! Also, TwilightXSpartan... teehee :twilightblush:

1017349
Your good! :pinkiehappy: Thank you for da positiveness! have a mustache! :moustache: :raritywink:

Yes, next chapter :D keep going

1017430
You ask, and I oblige. IT SHALL BE DONE!!!!! Give me a few minutes to proof read really quick like to make sure it's all good. :ajsmug:

Comment posted by Gyvon deleted Aug 30th, 2013

PRETTY PLEASE!:flutterrage:
seriously this is good, at least the set up is original as it can get, keep'em coming!

I've made some of the armor in the author's comments and they look really badass!:pinkiehappy:

1017719
Haha. Thanks! Yeah, when I finished that chapter, I realized I hadn't described the Spartans in detail. I just didn't have the room for it. I was playing Reach at the same time and I thought, Why don't I just put the armor selections in the authors notes?! :pinkiehappy: And so I did. Now, if this story is popular enough, I'm expecting to see my characters run around in Reach. That would be...lowbird.com/data/images/2011/01/so-much-win.jpg

Comment posted by Trot C. Foxy deleted Aug 30th, 2013
Comment posted by Liaf112 deleted Aug 30th, 2013
Comment posted by Gaz1997 deleted Aug 30th, 2013

You asked, I came through. I barreled through the editing on this one, so if you see any mistakes. Just tell me where and I'll fix them up right quick! :twilightsmile:

glad for it but im not one for being eagle eye for grammar mistakes...>.>...:twilightblush:.....and yep read this mer minutes after posted...

you're pumping these chapters out like nothing!

1017977
FINALLY!.........should we expect some drama over twi's....extra-terrestrial interests.....:trollestia:

1017983 Hehe. Yeah. I'm trying to see if I can do this without an editor. But that doesn't mean your not welcome to help! :heart: :rainbowkiss:

1017998
You know what? Buck it! NEXT MOTHA F**KIN' CHAPTER!!! :yay:

1016876

"Well, I was in the middle of a battle. I boarded the ship, that's now a pile of ruble, during the battle hoping to blow it up. But my nuke was destroyed and so was the navigation consul during a fight I had with an Elite. We ended up here, ma'am." He finished. Princess Celestia eyed him carefully.

A "ruble" is a form of russian currency, I assume the word you are looking for here is "rubble" although I would point out that "wreckage" might be more appropriate.

A "consul" is a diplomatic official stationed in a foreign country who facilitates trade and the like. The word you are looking for here is "console".

Not terrible, bro, but you need to dial back the speed on the romance angle a bit, 'cause the speed at which Twilight is becoming enraptured with this completely alien being is a little OOC. Curiousity, I could understand, especially from Twi. I could even understand a certain degree of respect and admiration, he did just save her and her friends, but... she knows nothing about him, she's the rational sort of pony with little to no experience in relationships, he's a freakin' alien she knows nothing about... and save her and her friends or not, he just murdered several sentient beings in front of her.

Also unless Celestia has encountered aliens before and has a reason she's being remarkably... undiplomatic. I'm not saying her actions are wrong, she's being cautious and protective of her subjects, BUT, she's not the sort to act so rudely or brusquely in what she has to realize is a first contact scenario. There's no reason to be rude, especially when the individual in question is cooperating and even being remarkably polite, and Princess Celestia is a shrewd enough diplomatic operator to recognize that.

All in all, it's not bad. I wouldn't bother with constructive criticism if I didn't think you had something interesting here. These are just hopefully helpful suggestions.

Good luck, bro.

1018018
Fixed those mistakes and thanks for pointing them out. Also about Twilight's feelings for him, I thought of all those things, but then I remembered, that she has never experienced the feeling of love, from what we know. Love is as Alien to her as he is. I felt that every rational person-er-pony, rather, has a side that is unknown to them. And with these feelings she has unknown, I thought that since she's the pony who studies and examines everything, she'll want to experience it further. I understand where you're coming fom with that so I hope this clears it up. :twilightsheepish:

Comment posted by DustTraveller deleted Aug 30th, 2013

. 1018073
Yeah I felt the same when I went back. But lets remember, he's just a kid, about 18 or 19. He wouldn't have the same reaction to something like that which the Spartan II's would be all over in an instant. He's not used to keeping secrets from anyone, and he feels they wouldn't know what to do with the information he gives them anyway. I understand your concerns completely, feeling them myself. But, he's just a kid. He doesn't know any better.
And as for Luna mind raping him, I had no idea what to have him say. I mean, she just went in so fast and dug those memories out like nothing. I felt that making him shocked and afraid that the memories he's tried so hard to repress are ripped to the front, and he really doesn't care about classified at this point.
PLOT HOLES ARE AWFUL, I KNOW!! :fluttercry:

HOLY EQUESTRIA, BATMAN!!! TWILIGHT MOVES FASTER THAN GROUND HOG ON HEROIN!!
TWILIGHT CONFESSES HER LOVE IN JUST A DAY?! COULD IT BE INEXPERIENCE TO THE FEELING TO FULLY UNDERSTAND? OR DOES SHE WANT HIS ALIENHOOD?!?!! GAHHHHH! THE FAST MOVING TWILIGHT IS SO NEEDY MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!!!!!:heart: BOOM!!
Also, I know she moved fast, as someone else pointed out. But, I had no idea how to fill the spaces in between so, BUCK THIS S**T she's going hard!!!
AND SO IS HE?!?! :pinkiegasp: SAY WAHT?!?! Let us all take in what will become like Mass Effect with Lyara and Shepard shall we. Remember the guy creed.
"If it has a hole, I can f**k it!" :rainbowlaugh:
No, but seriously, clopping is bad... :applejackconfused:

1018153
Miracles await you, good sir. Expect big things when the Covenant threaten their lives cuz shits about to get messy!. :raritywink:

NOTHA CHAPTER HAS BREACHED!! MAN YOUR COM STATIONS!!!!:moustache:
edit: yes i have problems making the minor details fill between the main details.......>.>....no comment on clopping...<,<...

lol bet u cant stickem qoute from HALO 2

and with bubble sheild thing i could say sum 1 watches red vs blue

:derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2::derpytongue2:

1018245
Haha. Exactly! I tried to make her as quirky as I could, but it ended up making her an undeniable bitch. :rainbowlaugh:

AWESOME! SUPER EQUESTRIAN ARMOR

Okay. Last chapter of the day. I need to save some to heighten the suspense. This chapter will do just fine. Expect a new one tomorrow at 12 or 1. Idk what time exactly. I'm on break from college so why the hell not? :rainbowkiss:
You have all been amazing and I posted these just for you guys. Thank you all so much! Enjoy the shit storm! :rainbowlaugh:

wow yet again im forced to stop immediately what i'm doing to burn thru another chapter....>.>......CARRY ON

Yeah, I got that rvb reference, that was south and theta reference right?

1018381
well your enjoying yourself.......those covies n brutes are gona be pretty pissed that their getting ripped by one spartan.......nothing new really :rainbowlaugh:

Seems to happen regularly for them, huh? How the human race is losing that war, I'll never know. :rainbowhuh: But i thought about making his ass kicking skills go to 11 since people were off put he got bit by the love bug. :scootangel:

Man, things are about to get all kinds of awkward.

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