An ancient war machine is awakened by an enemy strike- but can it figure out what's really going on, or will it destroy the world first?
Inspired by Legacy
Many thanks to LostArchivist for help with editing and ideas!
Rewrite began 3/17/19.
Wait a minute. I'm featured? I wonder when that started...
Cancelled 9/19/19. It's just... too broken. I may rewrite at some point.
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bolo
8636096
Yes.
8636097
Is it too early to ask for a name and maybe a mark number?
8636108
Name, yes; I'm open to ideas. Mark number, no- it's an XXXV. The highest mark I've read in any official book is the XXXIII... Note that I am likely not to end up following many of the rules, models, or patterns laid down in either FIM or Laumer's books, as I haven't read/watched the entire related series.
I am, however, aware of at least one deviation I will make: Mass. If you know of Nike, the experimental XXIII in David Webber's Bolo!... I did the calculations once, based on the numbers provided in the same book. Assuming a hull 1 1/2 times as wide as it is high, Nike's bounding box- at 15ktons, if I recall correctly- has an average density approximately 1/6 that of water. While I'm sure materials science can account for some of that, I don't get the idea that Bolos are supposed to float without countergrav, even if they maintain an internal vacuum.
I'll be following this one, so few bolo crossovers here and so far only one of any length.
8636125
Anything after mark 32 is either fanmade or theoretical if memory serves. Feel free to go nuts on tech and armament!
As for the density: no. Just no. There's no way in Hell a vehicle of those dimensions could float unassisted. Not if it wants to hold up in battle.
It's great to see the Bolos ride again! Thank you for the conversation, and the captivating story!
About the name. Is it a he or a she, first? Any thoughts about the personality?
8636136
I agree- as a matter of fact, this one's inspired by the 'one of length' you mention! I aught to mention that.
8636142
I thought the cutoff was 33... Whatever, 35 puts me safely in fanmade territory either way.
I'm glad you like the story!
As per the name... Gender indeterminate, personality indeterminate, as of yet. I'm planning on letting the Bolo go nameless/voiceless for as long as I can get away with. That way, I can decide how it should sound, at least XD
You're definitely off to a great start, I have been waiting for another story like this for ages. In fact I just finished rereading the other story again earlier today
8636180
Thank you! I've also been hoping to find enough... I mean, these bolos are awesome- so why are so few written about...? I go here, and there's really just Legacy and a couple of shorts... I go on Fanfiction.net (similar to fimfiction, but no FIM), there's only two dozen- most of which are one-shots anyways. David Webber's Honorverse has some 30 books (or the like) in it, simply because people finish the series and want more Harrington- so why don't the Bolos have that...? Unanswered mystery of the universe, I guess.
Sorry about my tirade.
Time:The possibilities for this timeline are intriguing.
Continuing to monitor.
What is your headcanon for pony lifespans? Daring Do is several centuries old? Ummmm... How old is Equus? The planet the ponies live on? How old are Celestia, Luna, the Mane six?
So many questions! I'm loving every minute of it!
8636539
I'm glad you like it!
8636963
Somewhat indeterminate, for basically all of the above. While I'm placing the story immediately after the big battle with Tirek- end of season 4, if I remember correctly- I'm aware that Daring Do appears in person during season 4... and is, presumably, still alive- and in fit shape- after the battle. I have not personally seen any of her episodes, though.
As for the rest, you can probably assume that the FIM side of things follows cannon unless otherwise specified; I have some familiarity with the world.
I really like how this bolo is being cautious for the most part, also very happy about Daring being saved
I am very interested to learn what happens next. Please continue this intriguing story.
Keep up the good work!
8637031
Me too- and I do dislike tragedies myself, as well.
8637218
Thank you!
i really enjoy this my love for war machines and such and in mlp? perfect not alt have these kinda stories as far as iv seen and in such detail and precition it trully is spectacular i do hope for more
8637570
My thank you!
I get the feeling that all Tartarus is about to be unleashed on some timber wolves
I like how this is going so far. Can't wait to see how far you will go with this.
8638003
*Releases chapter 5* Mmm, yes, I believe so.
8638598
Glad you like it, thank you!
Yep, that's about what I was expecting. A bolo just can't resist solving problems with Hellbore fire can they
8639365
Well, in his defense, he didn't really have any other weapons to point at them.
8639370
Good point, and to be fair there's no such thing as overkill where a bolo is concerned, just massive property damage
8639379
Mm, very true, I believe. I am thinking that this blast dealt actual damage only to Fluttershy's home; the rest- including Zecora, who may or may not ever appear- only got the noise.
They don't float they are tough enough to drive on the bottom off the sea, mark 33 and up have antigrav
8639757
Yes... even though the volume and mass numbers given in that particular official Bolo book might have suggested otherwise, I agree whole-heartedly. But who's counting? Not like I'm stuck to any specific size/mass numbers on a 35....
Balast tanks
8639790
I'm just calling it a typo or something- an error. It's not like a Bolo might actually be 1/6th the density of water, is it? More likely to sink like a Bolo unless lifted, I imagine.
Wouldn't have guessed Fluttershy to be the one who made first contact with our Bolo.
8641113
Me neither- but I'm thinking about chalking it up to some scentless but psychoactive gas 'left' wafting from the tunnel to draw the attention of passing ponies... and her to be the first one close enough.
As per why her, it's probably because she's the one I sympathize with best- thence, the easiest one to write without breaking character.
I can hardly wait for the next enthralling chapter!!
please keep this amazing story coming. Keep up the awesome work.
8641310
Will do, and thank you! At this point, I'm going to have to slow down; my vacation has ended. However, you may rest assured the story is far from over!
Bloody Hell. A Bolo with MAGIC!!!???
Oh this. This is shaping up to be a fine adventure. Can hardly wait for more.
OK. Now I'm hooked
8641905
Bolo with magic? Possibly, yes. Since Zeus has no inherent technology for magical manipulation (his AM screen is a modified kinetic battlescreen), it may take a while- and a lot of potentially interesting failures- for that to happen, in full.
8641953
Glad you like it!
what a great story! it would be great if fluttershy becomes its commander.
yes fluttershy a commander of a bolo is so sweet!this story is so good,congrats to you! this is going to be a pure pleasure to read! well done to you!
Can we stop dissing humanty
Liked and tracking. As I told NFire, us tankers are always up for a good Bolo story...
8642986
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!
8643033
How am I dissing humanity...?
8643272
I appreciate the sentiment, thank you!
The suprourty of the ponies to human
8643582
*Superiority
And when it comes down to it, this superiority is really just in resilience, right?
That's actually canon for MLP. Humans couldn't survive most of the things ponies simply walk away from in the film. (Rainbow's crashes in various episodes, an anvil, piano, and cart landing on Twilight's head from at least thirty feet up in Feeling Pinkie Keen, among others)
Anything else, specify or it didn't happen!
Honestly, I like where this is going.
As for the OOC moments you spoke about or what I think it could be
Twilight's actions, yes out of character, but you used the Bolo medical features and pointed out a tumor in her head. That I can see being used to explain her behavior. Once she awakens she will be back to her old self.
Fluttershy- Yes she is known to be a weak flyer. I don't think its covered in the show very much, I could be very wrong. Which is most likely true. Again with what the Bolo found in a med scan can be used to help explain why she was and her sudden change.
Pinkie-...can't help you there. She even freaks me out.
If you do end up rewriting this. I like what you did with the Medical part of the story and would like to see that still included as Ponies may not have a lot of info about it about what you discovered.
8645796
Thank you- and I'll apologize ahead of time for my ranting on the topic:
That is a good thought. I had been planning on chalking up the medical issues as some sort of magical ailment caused by something messing with the Tree of Harmony, but I like that idea better- an excuse for my inability to keep them in-character! .... Though if I do use it as an OOC excuse, the tumors won't be cancerous, if any are present in such OOC-excuse capacity. I imagine major enough undetected non-tumor medical problems could cause behavioral changes, though I may be wrong. Regardless, I do plan to keep them as close to in-character as I can, medical issues chalked up as creating the canon behaviors or not. Even so, the medical part won't go away. I can expect the ponies have their own medical procedures, which may or may not be either effective or more harm than help. There will also be problems they haven't a clue even exist, likely resulting in unexplainable pains they learn to ignore... Until they simply disappear, that is.
I honestly didn't earmark Pinkie as OOC. After all, if she were to witness a Flutterboom (which was theoretically made possible by augmenting nanites rather than innate ability), wouldn't she be so excited she'd violate her canonical behaviors anyways, like with the trope O.O.C. Is Serious Business?
Fluttershy, however, was probably the furthest OOC. Not only is she a weak flier, but that's because of skill, not strength- and besides, her shy side practically disappeared.
And honestly, I like where it was going too. I just did what I have done with almost every story I've written to date: Started strong and fell apart later, due to insufficient character development. Rewrite fixes that.
I think I've decided what I'm going to do, per rewriting- the rewrite is going to go up as its own story, titled Fire and Thunder. I'm planning on cancelling this story (or possibly handing it to another author for continuation, if desired/possible) when the other goes live.
im rather enjoying this, i do hope it is continued this way im finding it interesting seeing our future techj with there more mystial one its awesome i do hope more is done and twilights and everyones reaction will be epic once "ZEUS" is ready to move again, i love the story hope to read more
8647082
And I wish I could keep providing. Unfortunately, I made too many mistakes in the production- and fixing them would require far too much rewriting, destroying the entire storyline... No matter- I'm rewriting anyways, though it'll be going up as a new story. Yes, unfortunately, I am changing the discovery sequence; this time, however, I'm avoiding the pitfalls I made last time, and actually planning ahead... Without making statements & advancements that jeopardize future plot points. Yes, such will change the story substantially; Yes, I hope to posit similar- or interestingly dissimilar- situations into the rewrite, titled Fire & Thunder.
8647162
then do as you must i love this story either way i love futuristic ai war machines and mlp so ill read it no matter what if i may hear when its up and running ill happily read it, may my death-bringers walk once more i hope to hear from you soon
8649260
I appreciate the sentiment, thank you. It so happens that, at this point, I've already launched my rewrite: Fire and Thunder. Have fun!
The story and the protagonist is very intriguing and the writing is great so I am definitely giving this a follow and fave so that I can keep tabs on it.
So the Six have encountered something carcinogenic, or possibly radioactive? Presumably not the Bolo itself - Rainbow hasn't been around previously. Something from a previous mission? Weird residual magic?