- Member Since 5th Nov, 2017
- offline last seen April 4th
PeryFire
I'm a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.
PeryFire
Joined 5th Nov, 2017 ·
Offline
Featured In8
Sad4,359 stories ·2,623 members
Dark8,366 stories ·3,771 members
- GrimDark2,452 stories ·2,184 members
Tragedy1,235 stories ·902 members
Equestria Girls Fics12,142 stories ·3,767 members
Equestria Girls Rock!!!228 stories ·175 members
- I Just Wanna Write775 stories ·104 members
Sonata Dusk643 stories ·1,431 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.102 seconds
Total duration
1,009 users online
15,218 hits today, 2,123,720 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I can't wait to see where this story goes. I just hope Sonata isn't the murderer.
8620206
Thanks for your interest! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter!
This very much has my interest!
Though just a warning: your story is tagged with "Tragedy", but that's pretty much only meant to be used on stories that are going to end 100% badly (like "literally everyone dies" badly), as opposed to having a happy or at least bittersweet ending. So unless that is the case, you may want to fix that.
Looks interesting, can't wait to see what you do with your story bruh :Pinkiehappy*
Hope ya have a merry christmas
Sincerely,
Sar Meister
8620221
Thanks for reading and connecting! I appreciate the warning regarding labels, as the story progresses it'll make more sense why I chose that label. Thanks!
8620226
Thanks for your interest, and have a happy Christmas as well! :D
Not bad. Little bit slow for a first chapter, but the premise has me intrigued. Definitely gonna keep an eye on this one
I notice you mentioned Princess Celestia in the last paragraph, though. Was that intentional?
8620251
Thanks for the feedback, and thanks for that catch! I knew I was going to screw that up at some point! Will go and fix right away! Thank you!! :D
I'm loving this so far. Keep it up. =)
8621550
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it so far!!
Happy Winter Season!
8621638 You too! And if I may give you some advice (and this is just personal): I'd say to make the chapters a bit longer. I know this is getting the story going, though I think it'd be a bit wiser to aim for... 2k-ish? I 'unno, I don't write mysteries. Still, that's just me. I'm digging the story so far and I wanna see how it plays out. I may not write mysteries, but I LOVE them. And so far, this is very, very interesting. So yeah, keep up the good work. ^_^
8621643
Thanks for the feedback! I'll try to implement longer chapters! It'll be easier when the ball gets rolling. :D
8621647 Awesome! Well, whenever it updates, I shall be here.
Also, if I may guess...
The killer is a taco.
8621650
lol
Oh my Celestia you've guessed it. I can't believe this.
8621655 Knew it. I saw the taco last night. It stood over me as I slept. The bastard kept saying "Why did you not get the soft shell? WHY!?" And I was all like "I DON'T EVEN LIKE TACOS, LEMME SLEEP!"
Don't worry though, it was arrested for public indecency.
Great job so far!
8622008
Thank you!!
Looks great so far!
8622902
Thanks! Glad you liked it! :D
Am I to assume these aren't the sirens and are the actual girls from eqg? Or are they just...chill now or something? It isn't a bad start!
Go where?Sonata thought. She noticed Adagio's uncharacteristic all-black attire. Then she looked down at herself, and saw she was dressed the same.Right. The funeral."Yeah." She said.
Why did she forget?
Okay, I do have a couple of things to say. First thing being I do like this story and premise. I guess my previous question has been answered, but it does bring up more. What was the reaction everyone had when the three girls showed up? How did they handle it? Did they show up together and if so how did that work out? Just...a lot more questions about them.
Second thing I'd like to say is that I am new to reading mysteries. I love them, but I just haven't read a lot of them. One thing about mysteries, though, is that the small details are important. What's happening in the background? What smells or sounds are around? Who was crying g real tears, who wasn't crying, and who was faking for attention? Was anyone bored looking during the announcement?
What's up with Twi suddenly. She would have wanted to be there for her friends. Why did she accept a ride with them?
I'm not asking these to be mean, but especially when writing a mystery, these things are important. If it was a ship fic I wouldn't even care tbh. But it isn't.
I'm watching a mystery show rn. In the background of a scene there is a guy welding something. Later, the MC is sent a video of her kidnapped best friend. She finds her bc she can hear the welding from where she had been looking earlier. Just as an example of what I mean. Ofc every detail isn't going to lead to finding the murderer, but if we only get the details for that, it'll make it obvious.
I am looking forward to your next chapter! Good luck!
8647599
Thanks for your interest! I kind of AUed this a bit. The Dazzlings in this story are just regular high school girls who have been going to Canterlot High along with the Mane 6 (7?). There's also no magic in this story's universe, and the events of Rainbow Rocks never happened. Hopefully that helps!!
8647627
Thanks for your feedback, it is much appreciated! I'll definitely try to add in more of the little details from now on. I'm actually not too familiar with the mystery genre itself. I mean more emphasis on Sonata's state of mind with people she knows dying than the actual figuring out who dun it part. But I'll do my best to adjust and take these into account! Thanks!!
Interesting so far. I'm eager to see what happens next.
8685196
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
That was intense. I'm really loving this!
~ Mintstar
The suspense is driving me crazy
8686981
I'm glad it's working! Also I'll try to update again soon to keep you from going too crazy.
8686904
Thanks! I'm glad you like it!
8687061
You're welcome ~ Mintstar
That was so intense! Winder who the murder is...
Last chapter started making me think maybe it Sonata while she was all dazed out, and just didn't remember what happened 
this proved me wrong... ~ Mintstar
8691106
Glad you're enjoying it!
No sh*t, Sherlock!
8698175
Lol yeah
Cliffhangers!
8738211
Not for long~!
Well.......... crap.
I think I'll have to do a full review of this.
8742070
Aw thanks! ^^ That's so nice of you to say. Thanks for reading!!
8742258
Review is here.
8742287
That was quick! Thanks, I'll check it out!!
You could have replaced the Dazzlings with anyone else and nothing about the story would have changed, because they weren't themselves. Sonata reads the newspaper? Sonata is good at math? Sonata and Vinyl are friends? I can't connect any of this to the existing character.
Adagio was even worse. She's not supposed to be a passive character who sits around waiting for the police to solve her problems, especially when they've already failed her so utterly. If her friend got murdered, she would be out there finding the bastard who did it. The way that murder happened was also stupid, but you already know that.
I saw the ending coming since chapter 5, but I hoped the story would surprise me and do something else. Nope, the most obvious answer was the right one. The baseball bat scene should have had an impact, but it did nothing for me. The killer was totally uninteresting. There was no horrible hidden side to it, just a crazy person killing on whims. Then the killer is caught and that's it.
8745046
Thanks for your feedback, I'm aware that I have made many mistakes, and I will take your critiques into account in future stories. For now, I'm just glad to be done this story, and will just let it be. I was losing interest in it a lot towards the end, which probably didn't help with the sloppiness of it all. Thanks for reading.
That was dark.
I LOVE IT. :) But seriously though what a plot twist.
8750520
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!!
That was pretty good. Considering, I'm a fan of murder mystery that was fun to read.
I wondered if it was Sonata earlier... and I was right! That was a depressing ending though.. 
~ Mintstar
8817169
Thanks for all your interest and support! I'm glad you liked it!