Winter Fever
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I'll give you a bump up because I only read chapter 2 for the tickling scene and stayed because the rest of it was pretty damn hot.
Ok then, I like where this is heading
Hmmm, I would love to see a sequel for after they were defeated. Maybe it's the night after and Twilight and Tempest have a talk about how they feel that leads to two submitting once again? Or maybe in a confused state, Tempest subs? Idk.
Quick question: does this story have non-con? You gave it the non-con tag, but it's nowhere in the description.
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It’s one of those stories where the non-con is mostly a figleaf. I wasn’t sure how to tag this in terms of consent without making someone mad -- it’s not a hardcore rape story by any means, but there’s a lot of coercion. Morally and legally speaking, prisoners can’t consent even if they want it. Twilight is attracted to Tempest but tries to resist her advances, and she’s chained to a bed, and there’s a lot of manipulation and pushing of limits, but she ends up giving in and going along with it.
If there was an official “dubious consent” tag I would’ve used that, but since it has elements of non-con I chose that so people who hate coercion won’t have to read it.
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I thought there was a dub-con tag. Guess I done goofed.
Anyway, BDSM doesn't really do much for me, so this probably won't be my kind of story. I just wanted to help with the tags was all. I bet it's a great story though!
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I’m open to removing the non-con tag if people think it’s not hardcore enough in that direction. I just assumed most dubcon fics should have it because it’s not fully consensual, and it seems to be used this way in other fics I’ve seen, but I’m not sure. Some of my future story ideas also have dubcon themes, so this issue will come up again and I’m curious how to handle it.
The only tags (called warnings) I see are: death, fetish, gore, narcotics, non-con, profanity, sex, suicide/self harm, and violence.
SHUT UP AND GET TO THE POINT!!!!!!
You know that Twilight will get her back big time.
Makes sense Tempest is a sadist and Twilight's a masochist.
O-kay?
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i would like to know if the story states who wins because as it stands before i read this i cant tell who is domming who
Ehhhhhhhhh... Its good-ish but its way too compressed. This is the kind of story that would normally take place across months, not hours.
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I’m guessing you mean they developed feelings for each other too fast, but if I’m wrong feel free to clarify. At least the way I saw it, and what I tried to show in the last chapter, is that Twilight is infatuated because she just had an intense sexual experience but she’s also trying to be nice to Tempest so she changes sides. Tempest may have softened a little bit, but she still has a ton of issues to work through, and she’s still willing to give Twilight to the Storm King. The sex wasn’t meaningless, but they’re not exactly about to get married either.
I’d say not a whole lot really changed because I wrote it so it fits into the rest of the MLP Movie, as opposed to diverging into some crazy AU where they run away together or something.
This reminded me of an old satirical Reductress article: How To Tell If You’re Falling In Love or Just Grateful You Came So Hard.
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All of which takes place in the span of a few hours. Hours which are broken up by electro-yuri-dildo-strapon-denial-sex. Because being yelled in the face by the Storm King that he was never going to hold up his end of the deal wasn't enough to convince Tempest to switch sides.
Its fine that the story fit into the rest of the movie, but you could've stretched things out. Made it so that Tempest's airship had to stop to resupply before going back to the castle. Or that the movie did a timeskip rather than show the whole ride back. Or that Tempest came back but the Storm King was out of town so Tempest and Twilight were left sitting it the castle for a few days.
But no. You fit the entire story in the span of a few hours. *shrug*
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What's a "figleaf"? Will all the sex be F/F?
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Yes, it’s all F/F. There’s no futa surprise or anything like that. By fig leaf I meant the resistance is not all that substantial. It’s the sort of story where the victim claims not to want it or might make some token protest for some reason, but they actually do want it -- a willing victim, in a way. It’s a common element of non-con/dubcon fantasies, since most people don’t fantasize about having sex they don’t really want, but they like the idea of being coerced or overpowered in a way they like. Maybe there’s a better term, but fig leaf or token resistance is what I usually see.
Loved it! Great submission on twis side and tempest is such a good Dom, your detail and way of writing is really immersive and super hot. Excited to see more from you
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I’m glad you enjoyed it. I focused on writing a close POV and avoided filter words as much as possible (felt/saw/heard and so on). That takes a fair amount of effort though, at least for me, so I’m not sure how well other stories will fare since I probably won’t spend as much time on them as I did this one. I also might have blown through all my fancy purple prose descriptions, especially since I went way overboard on orgasm descriptions because of the intense e-stim aspects.
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Thanks. I wasn’t sure whether to tag it, especially since I’m not sure I quite understand what people look for in kinky tickling. Part of it is the way you lose control of your body and surrender to the tickler, right?
Pinkie might enjoy Tempest’s tickling electricity.
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I have large chunks of a sequel written down, but there’s so many possibilities that I’m not exactly sure where to take it, especially in terms of balancing steamy sex scenes vs. story. The helpful thing with this story is that it was confined to a small room.
Right now, I have it so Tempest is still messed up in the head and domming Twi and pressuring her into pseudo-public and somewhat dangerous sex acts, and Twi becomes a bit of a push over and has to learn to stand up for herself as her kink life intrudes into her actual royal responsibilities. I also thought about making Twi turn into a switch or dom at this point to teach Tempest a lesson and assert herself, but I might just go the sappy route and have it turn into a more equal relationship, or they learn to relegate the power play stuff to the bedroom and keep it away from real life. I’ve considered a threesome with them and Pinkie. They might also go on a royal mission and visit one of Tempest’s old marauder frenemies. Not really sure, though.
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It's the laughter the victim can't control, the struggling against delicate touches they can't avoid, the teasing and tickle talk the tickler says to the ticklee, the humiliation of looking like you're enjoying it, the fact that you can even be sexually molested through the tickling and still smile with glee. An entire body to be played with like a melodic giggling piano.piano.
Oh, please do keep making fun of Twilight's pudginess. Gets so little attention in the other submissive Twilight stories.
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If I ever get around to a sequel I’ll try to expand on it more. Like maybe Tempest gains some extra pounds as she becomes domesticated and starts eating an Equestrian diet, then she works out more than before and says someone has to be in shape. I’m guessing Tempest wants Twi to be a little squishy, though, not only for eye candy purposes but so she can make fun of her decadent princess lifestyle.
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Thanks. I’m almost done with a 30K word Fluttershy/Pinkie story, but it’s pretty much the opposite tone from this -- it’s gentle, earnest, sappy, and relatively vanilla. After that I might churn out some shorter ones. I’m about halfway done with an over the top, somewhat jokey fic where Celestia and Luna, ahem, take advantage of Sombra, as opposed to the countless fics where the opposite happens.
I have a ton of dirty story ideas I’d love to get to, but it takes me a long time to finish anything. Maybe someday I’ll write a big blog post and summarize them.
for my part I found the awesome fanfic
rather well detail, it is exciting the characters are faithful with their characterization
the only thing that I blame for my part is the fact that there is no more detail in the position of the characters if it is on the back belly on the left side etc.
and from a certain point of view for me even the fanfic would have to stop in chapter 4 the goal is that Tempest brings Twilight glass the dark side of the magic she at the ateind are objective is all that there is no need to go further
Pretty good. Though Twilight was perhaps a little too willing after just a little bit of teasing.
I was going to read this anyway, but I also have to know what heroic cunnilingus is.
This might just be one of the hottest things I have ever read. Nervous, inexperienced, subby Twi getting topped by Tempest is always delicious, but this takes it to the next level.
Ohhhhh god, I wish I could be Twi in this and get whisked away in Tempest’s muscular, powerful limbs. Yummy.
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gib sequal
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Sooner or later I'll release a pseudo-sequel where Tempest is punished by Cadance, Shining Armor, and the royal guard, with some extremely creative name like Tempest in the Stocks.
I have all kinds of ideas for a proper sequel, but they always spin out of control and I'm not exactly sure how to end them. Was there anything you had in mind that you'd like to see?
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Oh my OwO
Well, heh, I'd like to see Twilight and Tempest's relationship blossom some more... like, have them truly fall in love, and form a more gentle side to their relationship while the kinkier stuff gets broken out behind closed doors, heh
And perhaps Twilight's the one to pick Tempest's punishments so she can watch or something...
I also kinda like the ideas in one of your other comments:
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I think this is pretty non-con, with Twi being all shameless.
The writing in this is amazing!