I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".
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Who’d say that being a flower pony is hard? Roseluck never thought so, but after getting stuck with two lazy coworkers and having to provide flowers for all the occasions, she quickly ends up on her last legs. Luckily, there are always Lily’s “caffeine” pills...
Preread by RK_Striker_JK_5
🇺🇦Russian version🇺🇦 translated by FoxcubRandy and edited by ColdSky
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Fuck it. I hate you I'm laughing too hard at this. :D :D :D Okay, you've gained a new follower.
Oh my god man... why do have, like, three heads, *giggles*
What a trip!
8596374
Your mistake was attempting to resist
Until now that is. Once you go down the dark path of Samey fics, there is no going back!
I'm just going by the title here, but shouldn't there be a crystal ponies tag?
That's great, I must read it! And translate
8596374
8596452
After a million words you'll never be the same again...
8596610
Not really. "crystal" as in crystal meth, I'm afraid.
8597288
Xорошо
Equestria's high background thaumaturgical radiation has created a new class of horrific (if you are a normal, well adjusted pony) or darkly humorous (if you are not) medical emergencies: organ sapience. The aforementioned "liver exodus" is the ur example, but many other cases have been recorded by Canterlot medical researchers in their yearly publication "Closed Casket Compendium: An Omnibus of All the Horrible Ways You Can Die". For some reason unknown to researchers, the effect is most pronounced in the GI tract.
Ms. Doughnut Steel earned her place in the CCC when her duodenum, already a well-read legal scholar, claimed to have found a legal loop-hole in the Equestrian Constitution and promptly declared independence, claiming the title of "Generalissimo Hubert Cumberdale" and forming the sovereign state of Intestinum Duodenum. In a press release, Cumberdale promised an "eternal guerilla conflict against the despotic Celestia and her illegal junta". Fortunately the Equestrian Civil Service were able to negotiate a peaceful reintegration of Intestinum Duodenum back into Equestria (and Ms. Steel's body) through a month of legal negotiation and the procurement of 2 cherry ice cream sandwiches.
Mr. Tutti Frutti caused a sensation when his lower intestine crawled its way out of him in the midst of a radio interview to pursue a career as an operatic singer by singing a tear-jerking rendition of "This Day Aria" followed shortly by "Winter Wrap-up" and "The Smile Song". Mr. Frutti was hit with an expensive emergency prolapse surgery, innumerable calls from scouting agencies, and a 17,000 bit fine for "the broadcast of copyrighted works without a public broadcast licence".
As a result, many ponies panic when they feel heartburn or a twinge in their lower GI tract after a particularly hearty and spicy meal. Do they drink a slug of milk of magnesia? Do they call their solicitor? Or visit a talent agent?
8643771
It's barely January 2nd and I already have the comment of the year...
So basically, it was a great shitstorm...
8644743
"Shitstorm" was what happened when Decibel Explosion, lead drummer of the blackened ogre death metal band Gelatine, had his mesentery suddenly decide to pursue a career in meteorology...
8645685
Guess the guy stopped relying on his gut feeling when predicting weather.
Yeah, that couldn't end well...
8597288
We will expect
By the way, what does a phrase "Flying it, thanks" mean? I don't know this idiom.
8751431
It's an Irish idiom meaning that everything is fine.
8751630
Thanks! What means a phrase about "rocking horse" I understood myself
(Now I'm translating this story, yeah...)
8751659
This is the best line ever.
I could use some of those pills right about now
9160709
Exhausted?
9160754
Procrastination is a hell of a drug. I miss my ADHD pills.
9160771
Indeed. Though I'm not into drugs in general (hypertension, for starters).
Even better! I mean, I just read a story involving these three and I thought it was by the same author.
It wasn't.
Needless to say, I liked this story.
Getting laid even in death.
It's spelled eulogy
10126987
Apparently those two are often confused.