The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies

Episode 4 [Ms. Cheerilee]: The classroom

"And there goes another one!" Jon thought as he lowered his hand in defeat. If living in the New York had taught him anything it was that hailing a cab is all but impossible. But this didn't stop him for very long and in no short amount of time he was already at it again. He needed to get home right away.

The day started off like any other for him, normal and predictable. But like most days as of late it wouldn't stay that way for very long. Ever since he took on the challenge of interviewing guests from Equestria he noticed that as the day went on it gradually transitioned from routine to blissful-abnormality.

However this time around the break in his usual schedule came in the form of a phone call from a very beloved and important person in his life...his mother. She called Jon at first to congratulate him once more on his recent success (At this point The Daily Show was still number one in the ratings) but then wanted to see if he was free for dinner that night.

Due to his busy schedule, which was now busier than ever, he rarely got the chance to see her, so he agreed. That night Jon and his mother, Marian Leibowitz, sat down at a local restaurant to catch up on things. Jon didn't want to talk about work but she couldn't help but congratulate her son one last time on recent events.

Jon always had the same rule when it came to social gatherings with friends and family. And that rule was: "Never. Talk. Politics." In his experience the mere mention of anything even remotely political could ruin a lovely evening, but unfortunately even with his own mother the topic was unavoidable.

This time around the subject of education came up. More specifically how, in the it's current economic state, the country was beginning to levy cuts to schools, their programs, and teacher's salaries. This line of conversation was not unexpected; Marian herself was a school teacher. She even spoke about some her friends, who were also teachers, and how a few of them lost their jobs due to budget cuts.

This hurt Jon to hear; growing up with a mother who was also a teacher made him a huge proponent of educators and their lifestyles. As a political satirist he knew how education was once again on the chopping block in America but to hear how it was so close to his own mother didn't do much to put him at ease. After their dinner (Which Jon had to admit was very nice despite all things) the two gave each other one last hug and kiss before going their separate ways.

As Jon walked down the semi-crowded street he thought about how much his mom meant to him and how much of an important role she played in his life.

"It was really nice seeing her again." He thought to himself, as he crossed the street. He continued to think about about how much she's done for him and how much he wished he could help both her and those like her. The last time he did something big for a worthwhile cause was his "Rally to Restore Sanity," and before that it was a fundraiser for kids with autism. And while something like that would help raise awareness he knew exactly what those at Comedy Central would say: "Not in the budget right now."

Jon soon found himself at at busy street corner still lost in thought. He wondered if he could have a segment at some point on his show about education. The problem with that idea was that at the moment education reform wasn't the "hot button" issue like it had been in the past. For the time being everyone was talking about the upcoming election and the Olympics going on in London. Both of which were topics Jon knew he had a responsibility to talk about.

Jon all but gave up on the idea, but just as he waved to random driver who let him cross the road an idea popped into his his head...a simple idea but one that only he had the resources to achieve.

But now here came the hard part.

"TAXI!" He shouted, trying to get the attention of a moving vehicle.

Later that night Jon found himself out of breath as he desperately ran up the stairs of his house to get to his study. When he finally arrived to his desired location he quickly and without thinking dialed the number of the only person who could help him right now. Princess Celestia.

"Greetings Jon." She said, "How can I--"

"A school teacher!" Jon blurted out, as he frantically burrowed through the many stacks of paper on his desk, looking for the list of names. "Wasn't there a school teacher on that list!?"

"Well a fine 'hello' to you too," Celestia said with a chuckle. "Dear Jon is everything alright? You sound as if you are in trouble."

"No, no, no, I'm...I'm fine." He displayed by lowering his rate of speech. "Uh listen...when we talked the other day I remember you mentioned something about someone being a teacher?"

Jon at last found the list of names. His handwriting could be seen all over it; foot notes for future reference. And there, on the last page no less, was a name circled with the phrase: "School teacher," written next to it.

"AH! Yeah right here," Jon said pointing to the paper. "This...Ms. Cheerilee...she's a teacher isn't she?"

"Indeed she is," Celestia answered. "Might I ask why you wish to know?"

"Um, yeah of course," He said gathering his thoughts and catching his breath. "I would like to have her on my show...like tomorrow."

"Oh dear," she said. "And here I thought you've been trying to avoid the last minute requests." Celestia was right. Jon wanted to get out of the habit of asking people the day before if they wanted to appear on his show. He wanted to have a more concrete schedule for days at a time but this was different.

"I know, I know but something...sorta came up." Jon said pausing as he was once again reminded of his mother. "Look Celestia...I don't know if its the same for you guys but over here in the states teachers are constantly undermined by the media and they're plights are never recognized."

"That's so awful to hear," Celestia said with a level of concern only she could express for something that didn't concern her. "But if I may be so bold...what does this have to do with our Ms. Cheerilee?" To Jon it meant everything.

"Look if your education system is anything like ours than this Ms. Cheerilee is probably as ignored and neglected by the community as our teachers." Jon said, who almost ended his last statement with 'my mother.' "So I wish to interview her and in doing so give her the attention I'm sure she deserves."

"Well, while I am glad to hear of your admirable intentions allow me to put your mind at ease," She said in a comforting manner. "Nopony in Ponyville is nothing short of an important asset to the community. Everypony here treats each other with the utmost respect, I can assure you."

"While that may be true for Equestria," Jon replied in a serious tone. "I"m afraid it's an entirely different case here in America. Look...you're probably right, but the thing is...I think people here in our world can really benefit from an interview like this. If your citizens, and by extension this teacher, are as well off as you say they are then I'm sure the public should see what life is like on the other side. Maybe then they can start thinking about...oh I don't know...reform in our world."

Celestia didn't say anything. She was stunned at how this mere mortal could show such compassion for others around him. Here he had the resources to interview any number of mythical creatures to further is own career and yet he uses the opportunity in the hopes of better the lives of others.

"Besides," Jon continued, "I still say this Ms. Cheerilee could stand to have a little more exposure. You may disagree with me but I'm guessing there's a reason her name is located almost at the very end of the list while others get theirs on the front and in bold. This Celestia could not deny.

"Well Jon I must say I am impressed." She said, her respect for him now at an all new high. "You may be from New York but if I didn't know any better I'd swear you were a member of Ponyville." Jon couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks Celestia," Jon said rubbing the back of his head. "Buuut I'm afraid I like having fingers too much." After a short giggle and pause Celestia gave Jon two options on what would happen next.

"So...shall I send a royal letter or would you rather I teleport you to her?" She asked. Jon almost answered the question right away but before he did a thought manifested inside his head. He quickly turned his head to a nearby mirror catching a glimpse of the somewhat elegant suite he wore for the dinner he just had with his mother (Something which she insisted he didn't have to do). It was certainly an acceptable attire one could wear in a variety of public places but he couldn't help but remind himself of his last, unpleasant, visit to Equestria.

"Your not sending me to a farm again, are you?" Jon asked rubbing his stomach, sounding a little on the annoyed side.

"No, I assure this place will be quite more accepting of whatever you decide to wear." She said sounding apologetic. "It'll also be a lot more...let's say hospitable as well."

"Well alright then." Jon said clapping his hands in anticipation. "Beam me down Scottie!"

Jon now more used to this than before stood up and closed his eyes immediately, waiting for the princess to conjure her magic. With a quick burst of light Jon was now in a new location altogether. Usually Jon would have time to slowly open his eyes and, at his own pace, deduce for himself where he was. But the sound of many voices collectively gasping forced him to open his eyes and quickly realize where he was.

It was bright outside so Jon could see clearly without any help. He was in a large room only somewhat bigger than his study, with many more windows. All around him were pictures that looked like they'd been drawn by a child...it looked like that because that was indeed the case. Sitting right In front him were over a dozen pair of eyes, each belonging to a young filly or colt; each wide in astonishment and each of them staring directly at Jon with their mouths agape. Celestia had teleported him in the middle of a classroom.

Jon was used to being in front of crowds; It was his world and it's how he started his career but this was different. Being in front of a group of children was not his usual forte. He was reminded of a story his good friend Zach Galifianakis told him awhile back about how he had do standup for a bunch of children only to run out of material before it was over...Jon now knew the feeling.

The collection of children, Jon noted, varied in appearance from pony to pony. Some were bigger than others while some had vastly different color schemes. He had never seen so many ponies in one spot before. The majority of the students were fillys and all of them were an almost even collection of Unicorn, Pegasus, and Earthpony...one whom Jon actually recognized.

"HEY JOHNNY!" A student sitting up front said, breaking the silence and earning her the attention of the rest of the class. Jon recognized that giant pink bow anywhere. It was Applejack's kid sister; Applebloom.

"Fancy meetin' you here!" She said. "Are ya back again to-"

Before she could finish a voice coming from behind Jon cut her off and immediately got the attention of the class...mostly.

"Excuse me sir but we are in the middle of class time!" The voice said. Whoever it was she sounded much older than the majority of ponies present, and her tone of voice carried with it much authority. Jon turned around to see a purple colored Earthpony glaring at him looking rather perturbed. Her mane was light purple with streaks of pale, light gray rose and her cutie mark depicted three smiling sunflowers.

"Who are you!" The purple pony said. "Or for that matter...what are you?" Before Jon could answer Applebloom sprung from her seat and dashed in front of him, almost as if she was about to take a bullet.

"Wait Ms. Cheerilee!" Applebloom pleaded. "This is Johnny! He's a human! Please don't hurt him, he's real friendly like!" Jon was grateful for young Appleboom vouching of him, though he was pretty sure he wasn't in any real danger. The only thing on his mind was what she had just said. That his Purple Earthpony standing before him was his target. The school teacher, Ms. Cheerilee!

"Wait...'Johnny?'" Cheerilee said with a sudden sense of realization. "And he's human." She was starting to put two and two together and at that moment she recognized his face. She now knew who he was.

"Actually its Jon...Jon Stewart," He said, now spinning back to Applebloom. "Uh listen sweety, I need to have word with your teacher. So why don't you be a good girl and get back to your seat while the adults talk in private."

Usually Applebloom would have objected to being talked down to and insisted she listen in but she was quite fond of Jon so she obeyed and went back to her seat, where she was greeted by her fellow classmates whispering questions at her.

With his identify now cleared up Jon was free to talk with his potential guest. He made his away around her desk where he greeted her with a handshake and kneeled down so she could hear him.

"Hello Ms Cheerilee," Jon said, in a low voice. "Like I said my name is Jon Stewart. I'm the host of 'The Daily Show.' I don't know if you've ever heard of it."

"O-oh well I- That is to say yes...yes I have heard of it." She said still slightly in shock. She wasn't used to a celebrity from another world being present in her classroom. "Some of my best friends are real big fans of yours...but listen I am in the middle of something here so...can I ask what are you doing here?"

"Oh certainly!" Jon said, feeling guilty that he interrupted what appeared to be a lecture. "Well, I'm here because I was wondering if you would be willing to appear on my show?" This sudden news surprised Cheerilee greatly. She was certain that he had appeared in her class completely by accident or that he was lost. The thought hadn't occurred to her that he was scouting for talent, and she definitely didn't think for even a second that he was here for her.

"You want to what!" She exclaimed. Her sudden outburst caused her students to look up at her; she covered her mouth and motioned for them to go back to what they were doing. After lowering her voice she began speaking with Jon again. "I'm sorry but you want me on your show...ME?!"

"Yeah!" Jon said encouragingly, while still as a whisper. "I think it would be a great opportunity if I interviewed someone like you."

"Som-Someone like me?" She pondered out loud. "What do you mean by that? I mean...why me?"

"What I mean is you're a teacher right? So I believe that if someone in your position were to be interviewed on my show it would be a great segment for my viewers. 'Must-see-T.V.' if you will." Jon said doing his best to convince the unsure pony.

"Oooh I...I don't know" Cheerilee said, trying her best to not look rustled. "I mean...wh-when would you even want on your show?"

"Uh...oh about sometime tomorrow." Jon said with a guilty look on his face.

"TOMORROW!?" She shouted, this time permanently gaining the attention of her students. Noticing this she quickly turned to address her class. "Now, now students nothing to worry about. Please continue reading from your books." None of them did.

"I can't just leave my class tomorrow!" She said, whispering so loud the class heard her.

"Can yo-- Is there any chance you can get someone to sub for you?" Jon asked, hoping he wasn't coming off too pushy.

"Well I mean, I suppose I could get twilight to- I mean no!...I...I'm sorry Mr. Stewart but I don't think I can appear on your show." She said shaking her head.

"OK I'm gonna level with you," Jon said seriously. "I feel that if I have influential people on my show real change can be made in my world...and I feel that change can start with us." Cheerilee didn't quite know how to respond.

"But...but then why are you asking me," She said looking confused. "I'm sure you can find somepony more important than me to go on your show...I mean I'm just a teacher."

The phrase "just a teacher" didn't register with Jon's brain. What got to him the most was that it wasn't said by some out of touch politician on capital hill but from an actual teacher. It was that kind of mentality that inspired Jon to ask her in the first place; now more than ever he needed her on his show. Jon had no choice...it was time to play dirty.

"I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do." Jon said with a sigh. Before Cheerilee could respond Jon had already stood up and faced the class. She may have been their teacher and they her students but the ponies present in the class was still an audience. And Jon, being the renowned comedian of many years, knew exactly how to talk to an audience.

"Hey Kids!" Jon said with overacting enthusiasm. "My name is Jon Stewart and I host a show called 'The Daily Show!' Who here knows about that show?" A surprising amount of students raised their hooves.

"Well alright! So kids tell me..." Jon said, sliding to the side and extending his arms out at Cheerilee as if she was a new model car at an auto show. "...who here wants to see their teacher, Ms. Cheerilee, on T.V.!?"

Jon's question was met with every child's eyes as wide as the moon, and their faces glowing with excitement. Her fate was sealed.

Comments

[Domisacat]

Jon Stewart + My little pony? Please Excuse me if you hear a large popping sound , thats just my mind being blown.

[DiscordedWhovian]

3902915 I gotta say, your avatar is perfect for this.

NOW. Her fate was sealed indeed, for there is no escape from a classroom of students. All teachers know this sadness.

[dlazerous]

Dang Jon, that's dirty pool.