The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews

by Daily Show Ponies

Episode 7 [Mayor Mare]: The phone call

Many changes occurred at the Daily Show office ever since Jon started doing "Equestrian Interviews." Out of all of them probably the biggest was the huge influx of interns he had to hire to answer the phones. At first Jon thought his present staff and assistant could handle the day to day phone calls from people asking about the ponies he had on his show.

But the more citizens from Equestria he interviewed the more people called, all of whom were turned away or denied further information. It had gotten to the point where Jon's current staff couldn't perform their regular duties due to the seemingly infinite invasion of phone calls. To counteract this he hired new interns, almost doubling the amount of employees he had.

The decision to hire so many unpaid workers didn't entirely sit well with him. When anyone came to work in an environment like the Daily Show they carry with them the assumption that they would have more hands duties to the show's production, as opposed to simply answering phones all day.

Though for the most part the men and woman who applied did so willingly, even after Jon's assistant Selina Jenson briefed them on what their one and only Job was. Overall it seemed as though they were just happy to working on the show...plus more interns meant more opportunities to Photoshop them in funny pictures for future segments.

Even Jon himself took the occasional phone call but this was usually from his own cellphone. These were usually calls from friends in the entertainment business cutting out the middle man and doing an end-run around his wall of interns.

These calls usually ranged from past business acquaintances to well known celebrities. He mostly answered these calls out of respect but sometimes if he was busy he'd let them go to voice mail. There were some incidents where the caller was too important to ignore; at one point he even got a call from an official in the White House of all places.

But no matter who it was or how famous they were Jon always told them the same thing. He couldn't talk bout it...that is until one night he got a phone call from a friend who was probably the most powerful of them all. Someone who he couldn't ignore or take lightly.

"Celestia?" Jon thought, as he stared at the name blinking on his phone. "Celestia is calling...me?" Jon sat at the foot of his bed and begin to piece together what this meant.

In the short time span of their partnership Jon could never recall a single moment where Celestia was the one calling him. Even when she first made contact she did so through a letter requesting that he call her. Ever since then whenever Jon needed to make a request for a someones appearance, or some general information, he would get into contact with her.

But this was different.

The sound of his cellphone calling out to him broke Jon from his daze and he immediately clicked on the answering key, unsure of what he was getting into.

"Hello?" Jon said.

"Greetings Jon," Celestia replied. "How are we doing this fine evening?"

"Oh well I'm fine," he answered, rubbing his tired eyes. "And yourself."

"Just splendid," she responded. "I hope I didn't call you at a bad time?"

"Hey that's my line!" Jon said. He wanted to mention that he was about to go to bed but decided against it.

"Oh yes I suppose it is," she said, sharing a quick laugh with him. "I imagine you're wondering why I've called you tonight."

"Oh, who me? Naaah." Jon replied. "You know being the important celebrity that I am I'm always getting phone calls from royalty at the dead of night. Why just the other day Queen Elizabeth II called me up cause she wanted to borrow my weed whacker."

Celestia laughed for a second time making Jon wonder if she genuinely thought he was funny or if she was just being polite.

"I'll be honest...I am a bit curious as to why you're the one calling me." Jon said. "Usually its the other way around; what is this opposite day?

Just as he asked his question a thought manifested in his head. This might not be a social call at all. Maybe something had happened; an emergency of some sorts perhaps. In which case he figured he should stop joking around for a second.

"Wait is something wrong? You're not in any kind of trouble are you?" Jon asked.

"Oh no everything is quite alright," Celestia answered. "Actually I'm calling because an associate of mine has expressed interest in speaking with you."

"An associate?" Jon asked. "Wait someone from Equestria wants to talk with me?...This really is opposite day."

"She's actually a very important pony to the citizens of Ponyville," She added. "But I'll understand if you're too busy to speak with her."

"No, no, its fine. I'll be more than happy to talk to..." Jon said, leaving his statement to float for a bit so Celestia could interject.

"Mayor Mare." Celestia said. "Her name is Mayor Mare. I'll patch her through right now."

"Mayor Mare?" Jon thought, as the line started changing in pitch and volume, struggling to reconnect. "What the hell kind of a name is--

"Hello?" A voice said over Jon's phone. "Can anypony hear me?"

"Uh yeah I can hear you." Jon said. Even though he couldn't see the mysterious caller he could tell, based on her voice, she was an older woman. Maybe late 40's.

"Oh splendid!" The voice said. "Am I speaking with Mr. Jon Stewart?"

"Yes...yes you are," Jon said as he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry but who is this?"

"Oh dear, where are my manners?" The voice said, clearing her throat. "My name is Mayor Mare and I'm the Mayor of the district of Ponyville." Jon inferred before hand, based on her name, that this was the case. Though he refused to believe it till he heard it himself.

A blood-born member of royalty had just introduced Jon to a duly elected civil servant. The absurdity of it was enough to make Jon compress his face in disbelief; this was certainly a first for him.

"Well its a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Mayor." Jon said with a stretch. "If you're calling to inform me on Ponyville's latest legislative policies I should warn you I'm a little out of your jurisdiction."

"Oh my!" Mayor said with a chuckle. "They were right about you. Quick on hooves as always it seems."

"Ma'am I don't mean to sound rude," Jon said as he rubbed his eyes, "But it is late and my wife will kill me I don't--"

"Oh I am sorry! I forget that our time zones don't exactly synch up," she interrupted. "Anyway as I said before I am the Mayor of Ponyville and it's my understanding that you have a show coming up in a few days. If it's alright with you I would like to throw my hat into the ring, so to speak, and humbly request that you allow me on your show as the next guest on "Equestrian Interviews!"

And another first.

Jon was no stranger to people coming in contact with him with the sole intention of appearing on his show, politicians especially were among the most guilty of this. It was actually a very regular occurrence and in Jon's experience they all usually did so with ulterior motives.

But in this case he had never had someone from Equestria call him offering themselves as a guest. In time though he would learn that there were in fact many others who wanted to but lacked that knowledge of how to get in contact with him.

"Are you still there?" The Mayor asked.

"Uh yeah I'm still here." Jon answered. "And I appreciate your offer but--"

"Now before you make your decision." She interjected. "Allow me to present my credentials. I've been the Mayor at Ponyville for over 10 years now, elected three times by landslide results, and I've never had a single scandal!"

Jon had to admit that this was all very impressive, though from an entertainer's point of view her last achievement wasn't a good selling point in her favor.

"Well that's all very nice," Jon added. "But I've actually been planning a schedule ahead of time and I'm not sure if I can--

"Now Mr. Stewart before you say anything else let me say that I do know where you're coming from," she interjected again. "I understand that you like to make these kinds of decisions yourself and I can respect that. But at the same time we both know politics plays a big role on your show. It's practically your bread and butter."

"She certainly does sound like a politician." Jon thought to himself, as he was slowly starting to give in to her argument.

"So would it not make sense for you to have someone like me on your show?" She added. "Imagine the kind of ratings you could get with a tag line like 'Jon interviews his first pony politician!'" Although Jon wasn't entirety fond of her approach he had to admit she had a good point.

He had nothing against her personally; his distaste purely stemmed from her poor timing. He'd had a long day.

"If I say yes will you let me go to sleep?" Jon asked, already writing himself a reminder to call Jenson in the morning.

"Of course!" She replied.

"Ok then, in that case the next appearance slot is yours." Jon said, his tired demeanor clearly present. "Have Celestia transport you to the studio on Monday and my assistant will take care of the rest."

"Oh thank you Mr. Stewart!" She said with enough enthusiasm for both herself and Jon. "I look forward to meeting you in person. Good night!"

Jon sat there listening to the dead ringtone for a good ten seconds before falling backwards on his bed.

"A pony politician." He thought with a laugh. "They actually have government...and here I thought their world was perfect."

Comments

[Madman with a Keyboard]

Mayor Mare? No scandals?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Because the Summer Sun Celebration went just perfectly.

I wonder what would happen if Jon found out about that little..... incident.

Anyways, loving the story so far!

[Tatsurou]

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How about Winter Wrap Up?