You're stuck in Equestria with no money and no home. Can your limited knowledge of equines help somehow?
Six months later, you're a regular on the freak show circuit. It's actually pretty chill. You've got a bunk to yourself, and they give you all the beer you can drink for free. Ponies toss bit coins up on stage and sometimes flash you, and all you've got to do is puke on command.
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I think this have to be said:
goddamit Biscuit!
8538721
That's fair.
Hey guys I preread this and it’s good so you should read it.
2 years later you're in the hospital for an eroded esophagus, and because it's a world without humans, there's very little they can do to help you. Maybe you shouldn't have spent 2 years puking regularly?
The End?
The End.
...
Dammit Tramp!
I dunno what I expected. But you surpassed it. Bravo.
Yeah, yeah. Horses can’t vomit. The important question remains...
...Are you sure Manny is okay?
Goddammit Biscuit.
This is... amazing!
I'm not sure if I can upvote this... But I definitely can't justify a downvote.
I'm trying to upvote it... It's just hard to swallow, I mean I'm no sword swallower.
8538766
Yeah, one of the dangers of constant puking (I think you can get tooth decay from it, too).
As long as Manny's okay, though, that's all that really matters.
8538771
It's really not his fault at all, but I figured I ought to blame him anyways.
8538813
Thanks!
Thing is though, unlike earth horses, MLP ponies can vomit.
8538819
I know, right? He could be traumatized! Who will Fluttershy ride into battle if not Manny?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/3/18/851990__safe_angel+bunny_applejack_blackthorn_bramble_fluttershy_observer+%28pony%29_pinkie+pie_rainbow+dash_rarity_twilight+sparkle_spoiler-colon-comi.png
8538881
I know. But I couldn't help myself.
8538891
Thanks!
8538895
You pretty much have to upvote it. Not for me, but for Manny.
8538930
That's why the AU tag. It's like a get out of jail free card.
(To the best of my recollection, we've never actually seen a pony vomit in the show, although in the baked bads incident it's very much implied.)
welcome to youwritecrackfic month
this was a very silly story and I will only read it once.
And once again, Admiral Biscuit, you leave me wanting more when the story is closed. Though knowing how your stories usually are, I don't know why I'd expect more.
This was definitely a fun little read, but now I've got to get back to homework, which is what I should have been doing.
8539014
You should read it twice. Starlight's dialogue is funnier the second time through, IMHO.
8539069
Fun fact! I wrote this story when I should have been paying attention in a mechanic class.
You'd think Griffons would have hairballs, or something similar, but then again these are redneck ponies. They wouldn't know.
8538930
8538946
If I remember correctly, the only pony that has vomited is Pinkie Pie. Since she also sneezes confetti, I wouldn't take her as a representative sample...
8538771
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8538940
He's going to pull through, right?
This fic is offensive to bulimics. Don't you know it's a real sickness?
[sar]
Well, at least you were productive in that mechanics class.
Fun fact: in Germany, the shorthand 'Manny' is heavily associated with the cliché of the somewhat dim, mullet wearing, pimped pseudo-sportscar driving and self-proclaimed most capable mechanic ever from the 70s through the 80s. I'm sure you'd love him. Because of that, the perfectly ordinary German name 'Manfred' more or less was purged from the list of names parents would ever consider for their baby. Having a manticore with that name in the show still amuses me.
And I do hope he's okay.
As long as it isn't spitting furballs.
I think I'll upvote this. For Manny.
I'm sure Manny is fine, I fully expect Starlight to slam the door in "my" face and then go out to check for him. After Trixie's show they discovered they had much in common and now they meet semi-regularly.
"I" also tried to upscale my act in the Academic Freak Show circuit, by showing off the other human peculiarities, but then "I" discovered that other great apes had an appendix too that could kill them, and the odontoiatric community to whom I could show off my wisdom teeth was too small as to be profitable. Also, they didn't flash me.
Great story by the way, but that may be my fever talking
My reaction to this was a mix of the fuck? and gigglesnort...
"Sometimes flash you?" Anon, that means they got bored and left.
Uhm... I don't know what I expected XD
Not so much human in Equestria as human in Totally Legit Recap. Neat.
Also, I quite like how Starlight said that ponies are the only fingerless sapient race, then listed several similarly nondigital civilizations.
8539354
Exactly.
8539375
Story was so not proofread.
Glad you enjoyed it.
8539379
I wonder if they do? What are bird tongues like? Or do they have cat-like tongues? Hmm.
8539403
As I recall, we didn't see her actually vomit, just make an urk noise and her cheeks bulged out. But, that's pretty much cartoon symbolism for vomiting.
But yeah, maybe she isn't the best pony to base canon upon.
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8539473
I hope so. I'd better check to make sure, though.
8539498
Is it bulimia when you're doing it for beer?
8539574
Well, at least you were productive in that mechanics class.
Exactly!
(And I did learn new stuff in the second half of the class, when we were covering things I didn't know).
Love him? I work with him (although it's a 4x4,because sports cars are kind of passe out in the country).
Which is a shame, because Manfred is a great name.
Someone really out to go and check, just to make sure.
Seriously, I am now wondering if that's a thing that griffons do.
8539643
Who has much in common? Trixie and Glimmy? Glimmy and Manny? Do they all meet up for a REDACTED in the forest?
Although it would be difficult, you could potentially show off not only your appendix, but also your gall bladder, which are of course both things that equines don't have.
And assuming that you could get Minuette to trade her tooth files for human dental implements, she could open the world's first (probably) nude dentist's office.
I'd visit it.
Stories like this are good for what ails you, or something like that.
8539679
Exactly what I was going for!
8539814
I suppose it depends if they stand up on their hind hooves and show their bellies, or if they turn around and lift their tails, doesn't it?
8540129
I hope you were at least amused. Or confused.
Really, either is good.
8540260
Strangely, I think I've only ever seen one or two of those.
Yeah, I was thinking of changing that, and then I thought that the story already doesn't exactly make sense, so why bother limiting her list of other sapient species to only ones that had hands (of a sort).
Bravo! It's about time HIEs stopped getting automatic welfare payments from simply appearing in Equestria.
Especially the ones who fail to feed the manticores properly. That's what they're there to do, right?
It's a "Circle of Life" ...thing. Humans appear in the Everfree. Manticores eat them. Manticores leave ponies alone for a while.
8540905
She and Manny, and I'm really struggling to stay classy here
Having a customer pool of one may be a problem for the profitability of such an endeavor
Ach, what a cruel and unfeeling world we inhabit
WHAT
No, seriously, WAT
This is way too good to be a tramp fic. It definitely has the recognisable plot structure.(I realise Tramp isn't the person I'm thinking of. Sorry, Super Tramp) I'm sure I've read a fic starting this exact same way, to a less hilarious effect. The dialogue is kind of reminiscent of one of Aragon's fics [1].[1] or his amazing blog on relationship advice
Interesting case; there was one time that a mint unicorn jumped the stage and put on a pair of pants. It took three hours and seven police stallions to restrain her.