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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's okay, everyone has such moments.
I wonder, who is the love interest for him?
8559680
YIKES! You want me to reveal his love interest so soon?~ ;) Don't worry, you'll see her again in a few chapters.
8559699
Great! Well, all i want to know is if she is a grown mare or not, and what type of pony she is?
8559704
By the time Dylan grows up, she'll also be a grown mare. She's also a country pony. You HAVE seen her before though, but only briefly.
8559706
Ah. OK. Thanks.
So...this isn't a crossover of Where The Red Fern Grows?
I doubt "having an abusive parent" = not understanding what family is. Also, wouldn't adopting a human who has parents and is a US citizen illegal as he already has parents?
8561973
Illegal here, but we really don't know about over there. Also, it's a story. Just kick back and read~.
i think i read something simlur i just hope the human isnt a gary stue
8562682
Don't worry, he'll have flaws and all that. Also, he'll make some enemies, too. He won't always be liked by ponies.
8562717
i hope so to many stories iv read where the human is just perfect in every way
8562751
Dylan is far from perfect because of his fears of his father, and he'll also be very flustered when it comes to a certain girl.
8562758
alright then
I would really love to see a rewritten version. It's not only this chapter that feels a bit rushed, it's more or less all the time
he saw it
he did it
next chapter.
I'm just having that feeling like it could be better and well while I always try to be nice about it, I need to tell my opinion.
I'm not just one of those who always vote blindly 5/5 on every episode on a season without noticing if they liked the episode more or less than the other one or just consuming stuff.
8559706
I really hope you haven't done another big timeskip.
It feels like the story is proceeding without telling us much about his relationships he has or makes and ....not sure how to say it but I guess I'm thinking about his personal progress right now.
I'm reading this in one go which is why my comments maybe sound a bit different know, since even if I keep being nice, I get a little bit dissapointed.
However there is worse and more annoying stuff out there, that I have read already.
This has potential but maybe you need to hit the restart button, keep what already happened in mind and just fill those chapters a bit.
Do you have a proofreader or an editor?, maybe you won't get one right away, but it could be good to listen to some advice, my advice would be pretty limited. I mean I understand english good enough, but I haven't written a story myself and can only compare some stories with those I read.