Trixie is on her way to Vanhoover when she gets lost. She finds an old tunnel through a mountain and decides to take it, if only to avoid the trees. When she's inside, something is attacking her wagon, and upon investigation, she has an encounter with something terrifying and magical.
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I love it!
SPOOPY. SUSPENSEFUL AT FIRST, the ending was somewhat anticlimatic enjoyed nonetheless
I skimmed this, and I get this would be horrifying for Trixie, but once I realized she'd been pulled out of a human magician's hat, that just turned it into a comedy for me
Very well done!
The majority of this story that focuses on the mystery of the unknown thumping is a great bit of suspense. Trying to figure out what was happening was a big part of the appeal of this story for me. The fact that Trixie couldn't see anything for a long time really plays off the fear of the unknown. Excellent work on that!
I like Trixie's concern about where she is in the mountain and how she was determining how dangerous the area was and how far she was from safety on both sides of the tunnel. I like reading about characters that are safety-aware and attempt to second-guess danger rather than just have it happen to them and react. Characters who are pro-active like that are respected a lot in my book.
I'm a big fan of the ending. I know some may see it as comedic, but seeing Trixie's perspective on being the subject of a magic show means that regardless of how we may feel about the reveal, Trixie is still absolutely terrified. And I like that unexpected twist. The idea of disembodied hands pulling her up out of nothing is frightening nonetheless.
Wonderful work! Fav and like easily. :)
8543111
I'm glad you liked it. And thank you for pointing out the bits that made it better for you. It's always good to know if there's something specific someone enjoys in the story. Although it's often subjective, this helps me know what I did right. Thank you again.
8543468
You're welcome! I know pointing out specifics really helps a writer. Sure helps me. Keep it up!
Hi, I just wanted to say I loved this story! I found the ending hilarious, I have a dark sense of humor so this was right up my alley! Also, I did a reading of this story on my Youtube channel, if you'd ever like to check it out, here's a link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-d0wNKrf24
P.S. if you do check it out, don't mind my horrible Trixie impression.
8748736
Why thank you. I appreciate it.
Wow love the ending.
Thumbs up for a surprising ending.
From her point of view: horror. From ours: another birthday party or performance.