• Member Since 11th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 25th, 2023

Justice3442


Horrifically Fun

E

Tempest Shadow is called in for a meeting with the Storm King. However, the topic is not at all one she's remotely prepared to discuss.

Thanks to Nova Quill and Tired Old Man for their edits and suggestions!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 75 )
DumbDog
Moderator

I love you. :heart:

*snrk* The Great and Hilarious Justice3442 is back at it!

That was very strange, and more than a little silly...and absolutely adorable at the end. I loved it!

Yup. I can...

Oh god, this is a beta test for Twilight Sparkle teaching Tempest Shadow friendship and fire, fire, fire, fire, lightning, and fire everywhere oh my god, it's in my dreams and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

On the bright side, I love the slightly sociopathic characters you write.

Well that was daffy. :pinkiehappy:

I love this story. With all of my consumer whorish heart.

"Moichandising! Moichandising!"

Anyone else want the bobble head of the Storm King from the movie if they make one someday

Oh no no no I'm a rocket horse
Rocket horse burning out his fuse up here alone

Hmm not sure if I should read this having not seen the movie. Then again, I pretty much figured out the plot from the trailers - they get exiled by Tempest, and a bunch of characters voiced by celebrities help them get stronger and get back to Canterlot.

This was adorable! :twilightsmile:

8495386
My Little Pony: The Movie DA FLAMEFTHROWAH! :rainbowlaugh:

They could bundle it with that Cheese Sandwich tank toy, as single jet ship can't make it a game... :raritywink: jk

8495577
The one spoilerish thing is this does mention Tempest's backstory. Though, not really any spoilers for the plot itself.

The Stork King said, his eyebrows dropping slightly

Does he sell babies too?

Anyway, great and amusing read! Thanks! :pinkiehappy:

Oh dear lord...:rainbowlaugh: This is gold, right here. (And I for one, would buy that Tempest toy.) See, proof that the Storm King should be taking over the marketing world! ...Maybe.

Tempest threw a forehoof in the air. “Well, I lost my horn when my face got clawed by a giant bear that was made out of space! I can’t help it!”

Alondro holds up a finger after the manner of his troll hero, Dan, "I would like to query three important points related to said tragic backstory: 1. How did you and the other two small helpless foals escape the giant enraged Ursa Minor, as we have seen that once angered their aggression is quite difficult to sate and required a high-level magical artificer to sooth the savage beast. 2. Are we to believe that in all the history of Equestria, no unicorn has EVER broken a horn before and there is no treatment for said injury? 3. WHERE THE BUCK WERE ANY OF YOUR PARENTS FOR ALL OF THIS? DO THEY JUST LET YOU LITTLE TWITS WANDER OFF INTO DARK FORESTS ALL ALONE AS A MATTER OF COURSE?! IS THIS SOME KIND OF ARTIFICIAL NATURAL SELECTION TRIAL THAT YOU FAILED?! AND THEY LET YOU RUN AROUND AFTERWARD, INJURED AND MAGICALLY-UNSTABLE? DIDN'T ANYONE CALL PONY CHILD SERVICES?!"

Tempest Shadow shrinks down lower and lower as Alondro's enraged voice rises higher and higher to shake the fictional foundations of reality... I think that last part made sense... somehow...

Also... oh, of COURSE this was written by Justice3442. Who else could manage such sublime comedy?

8495763 THE TERRIBLE TRUTH: The legend of the stork bringing babies came about when a stork was seen carrying a baby in its beak. What few saw afterward was the stork devouring the infant alive. :fluttershbad:

(I have no idea if this is true, but it sounds darkly comedic enough to start an Internet meme over.) :pinkiecrazy:

8495935
I'm not usually one to quote the Mentally Advanced series, but when I do it's going to be this quote:

"It's like they give us a fork and a toaster and direct us to an electrical socket and a bathtub and tell us to learn a life lesson."

8495946 I wish the movie had been at least a LITTLE self-aware at that part. The backstory was so incongruous and lacking in depth, and held the assumption that OF COURSE being hurt as a foal would immediately send her to the Dark Side, it was like a farce that the writers forgot not to take seriously.

It was a place Starlight would have fit perfectly.

Tempest, "Don't you see? I was injured and rejected as a foal! Naturally I had no other choice than to become a violent dictator since nothing good could ever have come of my entire life after that!"

"Wow. I've totally never heard anything like that before..." Twilight stares flatly at Starlight, who grins sheepishly. "You two make Luna's explanation of sibling rivalry sound nuanced and deep by comparison. You suck."

Starlight and Tempest look down and sigh, "We totally do..."

:trollestia:

8495968
Yeah. In fact, that's why that part is IN the fic. :rainbowlaugh: I actually think Tempest's backstory is slightly more sensible than Starlight's, but maaan are ponies bad at making sure foals don't go off the rails when bad stuff happens to them.

8495968
Didn't she became evil much later, because she was promised horn regeneration? She didn't became evil, because she lost horn. She became evil, because she was promised healed horn for her services. It's in the comics.
But i must wonder why her horn didn't grew back after such long time.

My Little Plastic Ponies: Merchandising is Magic

Good job making the Storm King both hilarious for the sake of the joke AND sociopathic with a complete lack of disregard for any one's life but his own.

8495985
I assume that's exactly why they're so focused on harmony, to minimize the chances of foals getting permanently screwed up because they had a traumatic experience.

8496009
I'd say the underlining issues is apparently both Starlight and Tempest had no 'social safety nets' when the bad stuff happened, at least none that we're shown. Like... if say I lost my hands in a tragic fan-fic writing accident, I have friends and family to help my life get back on track. If I was a pony, apparently I'd have no choice but to replace my damaged forelegs with SWORDS and wander off into the Everfree forest until the experience hardened me and convinced me that the only solution was to declare war on fan-fics, or join up with some crazed megalomaniac.

After the events in the movie, Tempest manages to find and purchase a Twilight Sparkle action figure.
Just to have and because they are totally friends and nothing else.
(And any claims by Grubber of her having them make out are completely and totally untrue)

8496160
I say we have an amazing new story concept there. Do it.

I find it incredibly cute that Tempest is excited to be thought as cool.

8496275
>> Implying I'm not already almost 500 words into said story concept.:trollestia:

8496360
Looking forward to seeing Justice Blades featured.
Working title------------------------------^^

8496366
:rainbowlaugh: It's not quite the "swords for arms" idea, but it does tie into the whole 'tragic foal backstory' thing we've seen from the franchise a couple times.

8496368
Aw. I was really looking forward to Crazy Edward Fanfic-Hands.

8496370
We'll see! I do enjoy abusing those Anon and Self-Insert tags. :rainbowwild:

The Storm King sighed. “It’s just that ‘tragic backstories’ are a tad played out.”

Wrinkles formed around Tempest’s eyes as her face tightened. “I lost all my friends when I was a filly! Is that played out?”

still like it.

That was nice and at the and slightly confusing but funny

I can’t wait to see the Mane Six Escape Balloon Limited Edition Collectors Set. :scootangel:

Wrinkles formed around Tempest’s eyes as her face tightened. “I lost all my friends when I was a filly! Is that played out?”
“Yes. In fact it’s the leading cause of creatures of all races turning ‘bad’,”

Storm King tells it like it is. This is why I'm sorry we didn't get more of this guy.

The barest hints of a pout appeared on Tempest’s lips. “So… there’s no flying, lightning shooting thing? Not even a one-of-a-kind-prototype?”

So Tempest is actually tempted a little at having such a cool ride. And she invokes one of the most classic reason why the villain gets a cool custom model.

“You’d think that would have killed the pilot, but no. He screamed all the way down.”

...

"Why would they test that in the air and not on the ground first?"

I also like the idea that the SK knows that people are more likely to pay money for cheap junk than pay taxes.

And those slogans! HAHA!

I love how it's Storm King having explain how merchandising works to Tempest!

The picture alone grabbed my attention and told me this was worth reading 👍

Whole movie I'm just looking at it going, "Storm King is literally Hasbro Marketing..."

8497343
I know, right? Between this and Fame and Misfortune there's this weird habit of the show creators subtly rebelling against their corporate overlords. :rainbowlaugh:

8495968
And at least Luna and Celestia are apparently capable of living for millennia. That's a long time for bad feelings to simmer and fester. If someone one-upped me over and over again for centuries, I might go nuts, too.

That's basically what turned Katsuhiko Jinnai from a crooked high school student playing politics into a cackling supervillain bent on world domination and it only took a few years in his case. Yet the makers of the show presented it in a way that made it entirely understandable a reaction(Note if you decide to watch El Hazard, watch the OVA, it's excellent, while the later made TV series is just bland. And I do recommend you watch the El Hazard OVA if you like anime).
8496160
In a way, this is Sunset Shimmer's problem, too. As far as I can tell, she had no one but Celestia so when she was on the outs with the Princess, she just had no one.

8497375

Worst part is, it's literally their fault in the first place. Sunset, Starlight, Tempest, were all responsible for the loss of their support group (Tempest if we assume that she had, y'know, made more friends as she got more mature instead of immediately choosing a life of villainy at like... the age of four) and went bad because of it on the spot. "I don't have friends (totally not my fault!), so I'm going to rule-and/or-destroy this world!"

8496009 Uhm, she just sort of marched off and gave up on society after apparently doing nothing to try to make her life meaningful in any other way. And apparently no one ever even tried to help her.

Her backstory was an instance of total narrative failure where NEITHER show, nor tell, were used to explain ANYTHING adequately. She loses her horn, two foals are scared, she leaves her hometown looking angry, and voila... she's evil now!

8497375 Let's just agree that the show is really bad at fleshing out 'tragic villain' backstories.

We have nothing that approaches the level of a Mr. Freeze, Clayface, or even a Baby Doll (Batman: TAS KNEW how to do tragic villains with understandable backstories. And, even when they realized they'd done wrong, it didn't instantly absolve them of responsibility for their crimes. The show writers understood the nature of cause and effect, and the lasting consequences of actions.)

8496160 And so we see that the ponies are the worst people in the multiverse.

Foal, "Mamma, I scraped my knee on the playground."

Mother, "I CAST THEE OUT!!!" Tosses the foal into the Everfree. :rainbowlaugh:

Oooooo... I sense parody potential here.

8497863
8497857
8497375
Shadow Tempest is the THIRD unicorn I've had to come up with an additional backstory to explain how she went from sweet, little filly to crazed monster.

She's an orphan!

No.

My theory is. Based on what we're shown in the movie, ponies are quite valuable outside Equestria. According to the IDW prequel comic, the mane six were worth at least the cost of two sizeable airships. So my thoeory was that Fizzlepop ran away from home and was found! By literally anyone else who wasn't a pony! Basically, she was captured and sold on the open market (though, it's unclear how much a 'damaged' unicorn filly was worth). Her horn being broken might have been a small boon in this case as we're ALSO shown that unicorn horns themselves are valuable.

Presumably, Fizzlepop escaped at some point or was granted her freedom. Maybe she changed hands/flippers/claws/paws a few times first. She seems to be a capable fighter. So either she had to grow up learning that skill or perhaps something especially crazy happened like she was forced into gladitor like combat!

At least, that's how I made sense of it until I read her wiki and found out her backstory involves FRIENDS who left to go to CELESTIA's FRICKIN' SCHOOL FOR GIFTED UNICORNS and then she got UPSET when THEY WENT AND SHE DIDN'T! So she JUST UPPED AND RAN AWAY!

I mean... the being captured and passed around like the only joint at a stoner party idea might still work if it's sandwiched between that and where she meets up with the Storm King. Still, apparently the take away here is that when you're a foal and something bad happens to you, your only recourse is to basically slowly give into madness and/or despair!

It's already making for GREAT fanfic material! :pinkiecrazy:

8497869
I've concluded that Luna is perhaps the only antagonist who didn't just START evil we've gotten a decent backstory from... End of season 7 spoiler: Maybe except the PoS.
8497871
>>Implying I'm not already 7K+ worth of words into the idea.

8497919
>> 500 words
>> 7K

Yessssss

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