- Member Since 10th Jan, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 30th, 2018
Toothless the Night Fury
Fire-breathing dragon with a passion for reading, writing, and editing. Avatar by CosmicSpectrumm
Toothless the Night Fury
Joined 10th Jan, 2013 ·
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Yes by all means continue this fic till it's completed
Rlly nice so far, keep going!^^
Missing CM? Casting painted by Pinkie?
Nice to see you back.
You should continue. This story is great.
8477191
Awesome! I'm glad ya enjoyed it! I will do by best to keep up with it then!
8477308
Aww, thanks! I'll certainly try to!
8477358
Why not all of the above? >.> <.<
It's good to be back! At least, for a little while. :P
8477507
Thanks a lot! I'll certainly try to keep up with it!
Spoiler in the title? Nice work...
8478058
Oh shoot, I never even thought about that. ;>.> It's thankfully a minor one, but enough to consider definitely.
I'll swap it out for 'Tempest' and that should work fine. Thanks for pointing it out!
I see a ton of potential in this fic. Do not waste it by not continuing. This lookd excellent so far, and I desire to read more.
I already hope that not everyone is against Twilight or Tempest with what they apparently are planning here.
It is a nice story idea, but I honestly don't hope she is running away the whole story and only in the end they have some peace for themself and they "defeat" the princesses in what ever game they play here.
8479059
Aww, thanks for the kind compliment! It appears a lot of people really want this to continue, so I'll certainly try my best to keep up. I'm hoping to send my next chapter out sometime soon.
8479741
Thanks for the compliment!
That's certainly a very good concern, I'd love to answer this fully. Unfortunately, I don't want to give away any spoilers, or paint myself into a corner with possible upcoming chapters.
However though, I can tell you some of the things I am thinking about.
I want this story to come off as real and believable as possible, despite having some maturer themes. Tempest most certainly has her own wants and desires, but so does Twilight. She has things she wants to do that might not align with Tempest's, even if she's her friend (or possibly more). She has friends she likes spending time with and responsibilities to do, all that would be impossible if she got up and ran away out of nowhere. She's also a loyal student to Princess Celestia and respects and honors (most of) her words. All of these qualities you see in the movie and the main show.
In addition, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are still the benevolent, loving rulers you see them as in the show. They don't want to cause drama or harm to anyone. They are simply doing the best that they can, with what they know and experienced in their life. They're trying to do the right thing, even if some situations don't have any.
I also plan for consequence to have a big effect in this story. Actions have real and tangible reactions. If you do something, you will certainly experience the aftermath of it.
So the story might not be as cut and dry as you fear it could be. I can also say that I plan to add additional, more dramatic conflicts as the story progresses (with a great many of them caused by the main character herself).
8480451
I'm looking forward to that.
8480451
Well it does sound interessting.
Just something about Twilight that I have to think about once in a while. The show probably wanted us to believe that Twilight wanted to be a princess or something, but to me it sometimes looks strange that she tries so hard and feels so bad about everything, even if it was actually kind of Celestias fault.
I know it happens in several stories uhh I mean series/movies, that the heroes just get a sudden transformation and happy ending, I just think that if you would maybe take a different look at it that you could say "this or that" about Celestia.
I remember some things that were said when it first happened, that Celestia was lazy or something, or why she couldn't be honest with Twilight instead of the possibility to traumatize her with her sudden responsibility.
I sometimes think, that if you have dreams in your live and someone suddenly comes and trew that out of the window with what they planned for you, this can be pretty bad. It suddenly reminds me of arranged marriage only that Celestia wasn't even her real familly. To be honest Twilight is a fangirl from Celestia.
8481535
I'm glad it does!
Actually, I disagree a lot. It's been a while since I've seen the show (and especially the episode that Twilight transformed into an alicorn) so my memory might be rusty. But as far as I know, Twilight never wanted to be a Princess. All she wanted in the beginning was to busy herself in her room and learn more magic and knowledge. After that, it was just to learn more about friendship. I feel like she has always thirsted for knowledge, not power or royalty or any of those things.
The reason I think she appears to be trying so hard is because she's trying to fulfill expectations that she believes the Princesses and other ponies have of her. Expectations of a Princess, of a guardian of Equestria. I believe she feels so bad about everything because she feels she isn't good enough.
Interesting, okay.
This is a bit hard for me to understand, but I think I get the gist of it. You're saying I should revisit when Celestia made Twilight a Princess, and re-evaluate her reasons for doing so, right?
That's most definitely something I can take a look at, yeah. I feel like it's going to be quite hard, as the episode that covers it (and the series in general) goes very in-depth on Twilight and her character arc about this. As sudden as people say her transformation to an alicorn / Princess is, I see it more as a long change and growth over time.
But it would be quite interesting to throw into the mix, yes. Thanks for the idea!
Oh okay! That makes a lot more sense now!
It reminds me a lot of Adam Jensen from Deus Ex: Human Revolution. He was a head of security who was beat up and brutally injured after a mercenary team attacked his headquarters. His boss then filled his body with hundreds of human augmentations and implants, removing his limbs, reprogramming his brain, all to make him stronger. The only problem: he never asked for it.
I think it draws an interesting parallel here: unasked for power and responsibility. It could be an interesting theme I could explore with Twilight's character and this story.
Thanks for the idea again! Perhaps it can come into play in later chapters.
Will this be updated per weekend?
Continue this. It has lots of potential and I could read it ALL the way through. Really want to know what happens.
8482457
A lot of people said they really want me to continue this, so I'll certainly do my best. I don't want to box myself in a corner with deadlines since they stress me out a lot. I'd like to update at least once weekly though.
Also, chapter two is currently finished and currently under prereading by my awesome friend WordSPark37. Hopefully that'll be out by tomorrow or the day after that.
8482458
Aww, thanks! It appears that I will be continuing it, from all of the people who've liked and commented here. I'm glad to hear that you're interested in it!
Good to know that I have the blessings of one intersexual princess. ;)
8481742
well yes that is what I meant with it.
That sounds about right.
Somehow I get the idea that you think I was trying to find reasons why Celestia did a good thing with changing Twilight into a princess, I'm actually against it, at least for why she did it or that Twilight can'T help herself but trying to fit into that role.
That is exactly what I meant yes.
I think I can accept it in the show I mean we have no other choice anyway, but I would love to see this actually being a theme for a storie or Twilight acting on this. There are going to be several people who somehow still find arguments about why Twilight is going to like it or something, but if you try you can find reasons for everything.
The only other thing you could do is, that this maybe is causing Twilight to help Tempest in the end, actually acting against Celestia or handling her duties how she wants it to be done. NOt letting herself be forced to accept a tons of guards, not being able to go anywhere without them and stuff like that. When I started here, I totally hated the idea of Twilight doing her work or changing her life for her, or more that some stories showed it in such a bad way.
I was wondering why she thought to look there at this moment, but she probably felt "her getting excited and needed that proof or something"
Well I had read the whole thing in one piece now, it is as good as it looked or appeared from reading this or that part, but you know about my little concerns that I had.
Well I'm going to read your comment again if I remember it and when I feel those concerns again, to remind me of what you said.
In the end this might even has a chance for a sequel.
8482787
Yeah, I was a tad confused at the beginning. But I think that's what you meant. I do admit, I think it is an interesting plotline to explore. I don't know if I'd be able to cover it in this story, as there's a lot of conflicts I have planned out already and I don't want it to be cluttered. It's a fantastic idea though. I definitely encourage you to bring this to others (or, if you're a writer yourself, explore it yourself in a story or two). It sounds awfully interesting.
Yeah, that's definitely possible. I was thinking that she was just doing a through inspection of herself, but subconsciously, it absolutely could be because she was aroused or that it was brought up subconsciously. That's a very good interpretation of that.
No problem! Happy to quell your concerns. Ooh boy, let me try to finish this one at least, before we start talking about sequels. I'm in over my head as it is. :P
8482836
I would love to write, but I just don't feel up to it. The idea to figure out the write grammar and how they want it to be written properly with their weird writers guide looks still a bit to difficult for me at the moment and even in english when I haven't even written anything in german.
No matter how much I read, I always get the feeling I would start the sentences wrong if I include them speaking if you know what I mean.
8482836
ah yes thank you, but again I notice I always forget the even simpler reasons for something like that.
aaawww don't worry, I think I Just like to assure that the authors aren't exactly planning an ending that would make it impossible to even think about a sequel. I mean if they have an ending with a timeskip where the chracters are suddenly old and everything, then a sequel wouldn't exactly work, at least not with the same characters.
Sometimes I think how they get the idea we want a sequel with the children or different characters at all, just in the same universe if we where fans of those exact characters.
Okay have a good day, I still got at least two or three Tempest stories to read, the hype is still strong.
Yep, you need to continue this
8482565
I can't wait to see what you've got!
8482960
Oh yeah, definitely. I personally feel really lucky to be born in the United States. If English wasn't my primary language, I'd never be able to write, edit, or even read fan fictions with as much enjoyment as I do now. Grammar, syntax, rhythm, and so much more are things that just come naturally to me, which is why I feel bad when others aren't as fortunate as me.
Regardless, if you have a passion for writing, don't be afraid to write! Everyone starts somewhere. Your first story might not make a big of a splash as someone fluent in English, but that doesn't mean you won't create something amazing in the future.
I totally get what you're talking about. We fall in love with the characters and the plot so much, we don't want it to end. If they're an especially good writer, they'll also keep you wanting more, even if the ending was absolutely incredible. I think there's very few bronies who doesn't want to read and be immersed more in the universe of My Little Dashie, for example. It was just so cute and sad and ugh!
I don't imagine my ending's going to be as powerful or as heartbreaking as ROBCakeran53's. I'll certainly give it my best shot though. ;)
8483244
I most absolutely will, thanks for the comment!
8483246
Bah, expectations. ;x.x hides underneath a pillow
hhhhmmm this was good, there were only two stories till now, that made it difficult for me to decide what to think of them, but I get the feeling I could get really into this.
Man, this is some good descriptive writing. Bravo!
No! The infamous cliffhanger! Wait....your going to do this every chapter aren’t you? You sneaky bastard...
8485130
Aww, thanks! I do admit, my writing style can be a bit bizarre at places. I try to eliminate as many unnecessary words as possible, but sometimes it comes off as choppy and staggered. And I'm always deathly afraid of engagement and interest in the story. But it's good to know you have that feeling! I'll try to keep it up!
8485139
Oh, holy shit, Crowley. I'm an absolute huge fan of your work. I don't know why I wasn't following you earlier (fixed), but I think you were the one who inspired me to make a FIMFiction account and start writing back in 2013. It means an absolute TON for you to enjoy my writing, thanks a lot man!
8485219
Was it one of my pre-readers? 
Hey, who told you my spoilers?!
8485224
Thanks a lot! I certainly do my best to bring you guys something entertaining.
8486205
No way! Glad to see my fics have made a lasting impact! Keep this work up, my man.
And the 2nd chapter is as strong as the 1st. That is an excellent sign, and it pleases me immensely.
Do not worry about when it is published... do so when you feel it to be ready. I will happily wait for more quality like this
8486637
Hehe, glad to see you enjoyed it!
I do admit, the first chapter came directly after the movie, and thus, I was super inspired. These following chapters are going to be the real test for me. I think I'm up for the challenge though, especially with awesome support like you. And yes, the lifted time restraint is absolutely awesome. I don't want to feel rushed or hurry to get chapters out.
As long as there's people like you patiently waiting, I'll do my best to make it awesome.
Well this is interesting!
I’m liking it so far so interesting!
This is very cool. I hope they make a Tempest icon soon. She needs one.
oh crap.. um twi, u ok?
8503283
It's okay. She's always comfortable as the bottom.
8488133
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it so far!
And they should have Tempest emoticons! Quick, to the inboxes! frantically spams a million PMs to knighty's inbox
Another great chapter, another great cliff hanger that makes me need more! Keep it up!
Longer wait? It’s okay, I could imagine how Tempest feels I imagine I’m Tempest and I can see she’s afraid with everypony looking at her. Keep up the good work!
Hmmm. I must say, I feel very little for Tempest, other than disdain and anger. I can't promise to enjoy the romance between them, because as it stands, I don't see her as worthy of it. It doesn't help that the whole thing seems fuelled by lust more than anything.
I know it's wrong, but it's difficult not to find some joy in a mob of "weak" ponies beating the stuffing out of Tempest.
8503289
Hahahaha No kidding.
Oh snap!
I had been waiting for a good Tempest/Twilight story and looks like I finally found one. I look forward to the next update.
8503292
Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! The cliffhanger was actually a last-minute change on my part. It was originally what Twilight said, but I like this change more. Adds a bit more mystery, but I think there's enough clues to figure out what she said. ;)
8503302
Awesome, I'm glad! I'm definitely trying to get across a feeling of not only empathy but relativity. I try to make Tempest seem real and akin to things the reader might experience, to create a greater connection and interest. Personally, it's an okay job so far. I hope to strengthen this with later chapters.
8503369
Oh yeah, definitely. I can totally understand why you're feeling that. Tempest isn't a good person. It's unfortunate, but it's a fact she has to face. There's a reason why she's disliked by not only the hospital staff and the guards, but all of Canterlot. And lust does play a big part in her initial reaction to Twilight, good spot there!
In further chapters, I'm hoping to turn her initial reaction on its head and develop it into something more. There's definitely a long road of redemption however before like you said, she's worthy of it.
8503401
Hehe, don't feel bad! To be fair, I enjoyed it as well. ;) Tempest needed a good stuffing anyways, for being such a butt in the movie.
8503671
I know right?!
8503683
Oh snaaaaap!
8504138
Awesome! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! There are several Tempest x Twilight stories out there though if you're looking to quench your thirst. ;) The Tempestlight and TempestSparkle groups have a handful, if you don't know about those yet.
I'd highly suggest to check it out! There are a lot of talented writers over there.
8504431
Ohhhh snapppppppppppp!!!!!
WOOOOO-
CHAPTER!!
Chapter Dansus
I just hope that even if she is "redeemed", Tempest doesn't change too much. I like her a lot as she is
(Not in small part due to the fact that I have the exact same philosophy and outlook on life as her... ) 
I think she underestimated Snow Ball's strength, because most of the time, being a nurse doesn't go well with being a weakling. Even without factoring the fact of what you have to see and do during training (and that's plenty), it takes some strength to do what she is doing right now and stick with it. Being devoted to be a good nurse to the point of caring without fail for someone everyone else would like to see dead isn't something someone weak could do... Even more so given that she did it with a smile even with Tempest abuse.
The mob however just showed how weak they are. Assaulting someone who is bound and helpless (and you had nothing to do with it), or not in any situation to defend herself, is just disgraceful. Even more so if you need a mob to do so. Snow Ball is probably miles stronger than they are, and you can bet most wouldn't realize it or even spare a glance at her, meek as she is.
Aaanyway, leaving that aside, let's see how it goes between her and Twilight. My bet is "awkward" is going to be insufficient to describe the situation adequately.