• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 17th, 2012

Rainbowflash


I write stories, watch ponies.

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Scootaloo has always craved the freedom of the skies. After a bit of reluctance, Rainbow Dash decides to train her. However, what Rainbow discovers about Scootaloo - and her gift - suddenly takes Rainbow back to one of her past competitors, a little mare with a powerful ability; the ability to Supercruise.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 15 )

Decent story so far. I see what you did with the Super Cruise thing(referencing the f-22 raptor's ability to cruise at super sonic speeds).

But if I may make a suggestion, when a character is thinking about something to himself, instead of putting it in quotations, put it in Italics. It just lessens the confusion of whether they're thinking or saying it out loud, especially when that character is in the middle of a conversation.

#2 · Dec 5th, 2011 · · · Part 1 ·

CLIFFHANGER!!!!! and to quote a character from a kids TV show "I, CANT, HOLD, ON, MUCH, LONGEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Looking forward to see where this story goes.

Go with Jacky's suggestion. Threw me off when what I Rainbow was saying was actually a thought.

#4 · Dec 5th, 2011 · · · Part 1 ·

SUPERCRUISE IS CRUISE CONTROL TO COOL

That sent a chill down my spine, I like this.:rainbowdetermined2:

This story is a great idea in exploring the relationship between Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. Whoever this person is that Rainbow Dash knows will it change the relationship between her and Scootaloo ? :rainbowhuh:

Please I wish to encourage you upon such a great idea like this one.

Hmmm... my trope awareness senses are tingling... :rainbowdetermined2:

I have a hunch who Scootaloo's mom is. Like mother, like daughter? :scootangel:

Interesting back-story on the OC rival for Rainbow Dash.:rainbowdetermined2:

If it is related to Scootaloo in a way, this could make things both awkard and interesting in the coming chapters re-examining Rainbow's relationship with the little filly. :rainbowhuh:

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one as I cannot wait to see what happens next. :scootangel:

Nah, I think it would be best if Shock Diamond was dead.... a testament to the dangers of supersonic flight. Rainbow Dash is putting a filly in a very dangerous position and she needs to be able to stand back and say "Stop, we shouldn't push the envelop any further," which I believe is a difficult thing for Dash.

A ghost and memory is the hardest thing for Rainbow Dash to equal or beat. A ghost will always be better, because you remember it being better than you , so it will always be better. By being dead, Shock Diamond says it can be done but offers no clues how it could be done.

scootaloo is shock diamonds reincarnation

The thought seems to be occurring that Scootaloo is Shock Diamond. She seemed to shrink into the horizon, so I'm wondering if supercruising reverses one's age, or if it was part of the stuff-up. Either way, I probably won't read this any further. It's a passable effort, but doesn't seem to be worth the trouble of reading, to me. Good try, though.

scootaloo's mom is shock diamond I just know it. after the race they couldn't find shock's body, I wonder why? she most likely left and went and settled down and had a filly and thats where scootaloo comes from.:scootangel:

Y U NO RELEASE MORE CHAPTERS?!

93326 Patience, my friend. I have recently been acclimating to DAH SPRING. And now I need to start writing again. :pinkiehappy:

this is defenitly a story that needs more chapters.

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