When the Main 6 and Spike get teleported to a unknown world through a riff in space and time. Lucky there was someone willing to help them get through this world and get them home. The rest in the long description
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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What kind of transformation for this story?
...Whoa. Editor.
Setting aside the horrible punctuation, capitalization, and regular grammar for a second, having multiple characters' dialogue in the same paragraph is a huge no-no, even in a first-person story.
An editor isn't needed at this stage, no editor should have to put up with this many mistakes. I'd suggest taking an online course in writing. Improving takes work.
9132711
Thanks for your import and your right but I've learned from the first chapter. But just remember I have a lot learn to try to get the story right on the grammar end of writing.
But I'm thinking about going back into the early chapters of the story to make a better scent of what going on. Also there one thing I would like to make is that is the first time seeing Twilight and the others in my world.
Let me ask you, folks is that you see Twilight and her friends for the first time without even knowing your name. How would you describe them?
9132739 You do have a lot to learn, but this learning isn't done by doing, it's done by teaching. Seriously. Go to Khan Academy for a start.
Your writing has gotten bulkier, but I wouldn't say that is better. You are still making the same mistakes (in the latest chapter).
As for your question, the following would probably be a simple description of them.
Ah... nope. Nope, nope, nope.
Editor. I'm begging you, for the sake of your readers, for this story, for yourself, and for the English language, bless its poor soul, get. An. Editor.
Wow... You know something, I'm genuinely impressed. Not by the story, the story is something else entirely. I'm impressed by Cribb. Firstly, I respect that you haven't disabled the comments or turned off the vote ratio. A lot of authors would have disabled them as soon as the dislike ratio outgrew the like bar, but you haven't, which I can genuinely respect. I can tell that you're writing this story and updating it for your entertainment, not our praise, which is something else I can respect as well. Personally, I write more for attention than my own joy, and seeing an author go all out on a story that they like is something I always find interesting.
Plot hole: horse could hav jump back in