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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sweet how you are redoing the story, I can't wait to see what happens next, also with him in the Castle that means he could get a chance to meet a certain Alicorn of Love, I wonder would he get drunk from the love she gives off?
Hum, not bad for a first story, I would say that you writing is a bit dull and redundant at time, but I think you will improve on it on your own for the most part. You could add more description of the guys narration of what he see the character in doing by adding more descriptor that are more hyper like: 'laugh in derision', 'toothy grin', 'franticly search' and such.
Still, I do like that Celestia seemed to have premonition about the outsider showing a link between him and her, I wonder where this will lead too next.
I will be looking forward to see what will happen next.
If you are looking for a cover art I am open for commissions if you are interesting, I have done a number of cover art that you might recognize. Here is the link to my DA gallery, hope to hear from you soon, and good luck on your story.
https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku
This didnt included the flirting or? Luna is best Waifu!
Well I mean, you haven't exactly done anything anything particularly royal in a thousand years soooooo.... no?
Basically
...but it starts with a T
It's more of a cat though
...no, it looks horrible, your tail not only has different color that doesn't match him in any way whatsoever, but it also has a completely different curl to it that doesn't match his moustache at all
She said "stand back" not "leave me all alone in a closed room with the only things that can defeat the demigoddess that has literally been one step a head of us this whole time"
At what point did he lie?
He what at it? Blinks or winks.
10091463
Elements of Harmony, The
Classic.
Awww darn! Celestia didn't toss the classic "we need to talk" line!
So, I've just started reading this, and while I've noticed some improvement from chapter 1 to this one, there's a piece of criticism I feel I have to leave here. So far this story is in danger of falling into a trap I often see SI fics make, that is, having the SI just as a "spectator" in the canon events, just making snarky or smartass comments and not really considering how their presence or actions can change the stations of canon. Now, I'm willing to read a bit more and hopefully this was just an artifact of the beginning, but it's something I advice you take into consideration in the future.
Fluttershy
Millennium, millennia is the plural.
11399707
Fixed it, thank you
Pranking Nightmare is always good.
I really love how he kept trolling nightmare moon.