Starlight and sunset go on a date and have a relaxful day and talk a bit about their future. Then they make out.
Entry in the sunset shipping contest
Art by Cbear264
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 17th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
TheOneAJ
I'm am an autistic brony, looking to write fantasy and everyday life novels for my kind. I became a brony when I related well with applejack and twlight, and I love the show.
TheOneAJ
Joined 17th Dec, 2013 ·
Offline
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You have one right there.
I also noticed that you had one "sunset" that wasn't capitalised and a misplaced comma in the third paragraph.
I feel that this story had a bit too much making out as opposed to exploring their relationship. But it was still sweet at times and it was a nice read.
But that sounds like a much more interesting story. Perhaps a prequel is in order?
I feel like you could have used any two characters and ended up with the exact same story
Yo, don't forget to add the story to the contest group or else it won't get counted!
Good luck, by the way!
just some short and sweet fluff like you said. Though I wished you wrote more....
8402733
Eh, it's for a contest I have no hope of winning, and had a million other projects to work on too ^^'
کہانی بہت اچھا تھی! میں کردار کی ترقی سے محبت کرتا تھا اور جس طرح سے تم نے مناظر کے درمیان منتقلی کی تھی! آپ کی وضاحت مجھے خوشی ہوئی اور مجھے امید ہے کہ آپ اچھی طرح سے کرتے ہو! اس بات کو یقینی بنائیں کہ آپ کو لانڈری میں چٹنی نہ ڈالیں!
8458701
Thank you :)
And thanks for all the attention