This is a world in which Gods rule their cities. Magic is a divine manifestation of nature's power. Demons – both figurative and real – lurk in the shadows.
Sunset Shimmer – unparalleled thief, master of the arts, and a magical prodigy – worships the brightest and the warmest of all Gods. More than worships, in fact: six years, all born from one strange and terrifying encounter, have fuelled a fire in her heart that will never die.
If only the same could be said about her. For surely, mortals and Gods were never meant to fall in love.
Inspired by, but not a contestant for, the Sunset Shipping Contest: Changing Seasons. Further details are available via this link.
Chapters (6)
A note on the word count: while Oroboro has stressed that the word limit is loose, I'm aware this entry is potentially a few thousand too far. The closest I have to a defence is that I genuinely think* that the needs of the story outweigh the size limitations on this occasion.
*Although, in the name of open-mindedness, I might yet be persuaded otherwise.
(Interestingly enough, several entries are well below the word limit, in some cases by a lot more than I've gone over it. I like to think my entry is pinching their leftover words and balancing things out. Not a genuine argument: the idea just amuses me.)
Still, if it's simply too big to be allowed, then let it be known I'm quite happy to withdraw it as an entry, content in the knowledge that the contest at least granted me the inspiration to write.
If nothing else, the contest's getting a (tiny) bit of extra publicity for a while.
This looks to have great promise. Added to read later; I shall enjoy it when I have the time.
Same as what A British Gentleman said, this looks pretty cool. Will devour it later tonight!
8392701
I'm afraid 15k is too far over the limit. Sorry. =/
Still, I'm glad my contest inspired you to write so much, and I hope you're happy with what you produced. I'll make an effort to go ahead and read it anyway.
Pretty interesting AU and story.
Amazing world you created i have to say, its one of those stories that has give enough material to make a whole world out of it.
Many gods with powers centered around their worship.
A but irrational of Moondancer to assume Sunset is to blame for her families corruption and death, but then again it was a irrational/emotional moment for the usually stone cold Moony wasnt it.
The ending though, ugh leaves more questions then answers in a sense. Hate/love that feeling. You just want to know ALL there is to know about it, but sometimes its better not to i guess.
You have any other plans for this world you created?
Exquisitely crafted in both the world and the emotion on display. A gripping read from start to finish, along with one of the best names I've seen for Sunset's outer inner demon. Thank you for this.
Proper review time!
Loved all the imagery used throughout this. The similes, the grand wording to try to describe just what us mere mortals are looking upon when faced with a god, all of it. Poetic and memorable.
The angst and pain of what it means to be a god has been well tred ground, especially in this fandom, but at least here it's kept to a minimum up until the last chapter. Guess I can deal with that.
Liked all the parallels you built up with Celestia and Sunset, the obvious one being demon Shimmer. Classic inner demons at work here!
And Trixie remains a true friend till the end!
If there's one thing I had issue with, it's that I wasn't always certain about the passage of time. This all felt like it took place over the course of a few days but passages sprinkled in alerted me that much more time than that was going by. It took me a moment to work out the numbers before getting back into the story.
So yeah, I had a good time with this! Sunset remains a fascinating character study and is used to good effect here. Thanks for the read!
I find this setting (sunsetting?) fascinating. Thank you for an excellent read.
8392753
If it's anything like most people's Read-It-Later lists: See you in a few months!
8392860
Fair enough. It was always a gamble. I'll simply replace "Contestant for" with "Inspired by, but not a contestant for," in the description. Credit where credit is due, after all. I'll also remove it from the group's folder, since it's not eligible.
EDIT 1st September 2017: Now that there's an "Inspired by / Late entries" folder, I've added the fic to the group and placed it in said folder.
8392868
I'm glad you found it so. Thanks for reading.
8393233
To be fair, from her perspective the evidence was at least suggestive. Throw in the fact that she's just been suddenly forced into another unpleasant experience with a demon, and you just bet she's going to be too stressed to think anything else.
Sadly, I don't in all honesty have any plans for further expansion. Usually, I see such stories more as a way to experiment than as a way to establish a larger mythos. I still like to see people respond the way you have; it means I must be doing something right.
8393431
She was this close to being "Rising Sun". I won't bore you with the broader details of naming, but that idea got shot down pretty quickly for lack of evocative power. Also, what a fantastic comment! Thank you!
8393806
Well-tred it may be, but I'm partial to it. I like my gods to have human (pony?) foibles, and it's both philosophically and dramatically a good place for mining. Of course, and to be fair, I imagine there are only so many times you can read about a god bursting into tears (about how awful not-dying really is) before it gets tedious.
No argument there: passage of time is a constant source of problems for me. I can't tell if I'm giving enough clues to trigger recognition without being plain, or if I'm being too obscure. I don't like just dumping "six years later" into a narrative, but sometimes the dull method is the only workable one (I frankly gave up when it came to the second chapter's title).
And of course, many, many thanks for the critique. Glad you enjoyed reading!
8394290
Thank you in turn for reading my efforts. It's always a rewarding experience to read comments like yours.
This was interesting to read. But, like another one of the old entries I read, it feels like I need to read something else first to understand this better. IDK, something about Alternate Universes with me. Like, keep it short and sweet or make it the main focus. If that makes sense. I have a hard time formulating my thoughts and opinions into words.
8512267
Interesting. In this case, I never set out to give that impression. I do put in implied backstories in my Alternate Universe fics (in this one it's Celestia's prior history of lovers at the dawn of civilization, her subsequent creation of Celezyon the inner demon, and how she either lost or suppressed her memories of those lovers until only the criticism remained). Other than that, I think all the important information is present and correct. Maybe it's that implied backstory aspect?
8512564
Yeah, I think it's all this implied backstory. It's like, I know there's something here that I should know, but it's either going over my head or needed to be elaborated on further. Like the whole Pantheon thing, the abrupt transitions between chapters, Moondancer's arc. If this was longer and had more time to flesh things out, I think it'd be a really great story. But for now, the story told is comprehensible if taken at face value. It's in the undertones that I know that there's untapped potential here.
This is an awesome story. The pacing really works, because even though it could be considered plodding, everything is operating at its extreme. Sunset is pushing herself, acting at the edge of the law, pushing her relationships, her studies, even her charities. It gives the whole thing an edge, like she's teetering on a knifes point. The ending was a bit disappointing, because I was waiting for the other horseshoe to drop, but once you accept that it's more about sunset accepting herself and her flaws moreso than their relationship, which is a nice bonus, it becomes deeply satisfying.
8558379
True, the ending was chiefly designed to grant closure to Sunset's increasing anxieties (most obviously, by demonstrating that Celestia, due to Celezyon's creation and influence, is not some unreachable paragon). Inevitably, the obvious side effect is that Celestia's half of the story isn't focused upon to the same degree. I confess it was a compromise.
Another likely factor is that romance is a relatively new genre for me to be writing in. I will try something more even-handed, but I haven't yet mastered the art of balancing both sides of the relationship in terms of focus and depth.
Technical (and helpful, thanks!) critique aside, I was utterly surprised and delighted to receive your comment. Many thanks for the enthusiastic response!
I don't get it.
10663019
Hm, do you mean anything specific, such as the ending scene, or the fic in general? Enjoyment or not, it'd be useful to know where readers have difficulties with my writing, so that I can be clearer in future.
OK. Weird duality. Sunset here says Celestia is a god or God, then goes 180, and says nobody can read minds, as it would be simular to moving Sun with magic... Is it not known here or now shown that Celestia moves the Sun?
Well. Bugger me... Many clues. Can't put them together yet. Passion corrupts, the dark demi-god, Celestia seems to be in Godly Depression...