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zetasquadron94


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Crossover with Hands, by Andrew Joshua Talon.

Friendly word of advice, link to that story. Please respond to this comment.

8538828
Thanks, I didn't realize I'd made such an error. I put the link in the beginning of the first chapter, but it wise to also place it in the story synopsis. Sorry about that, this is only my first time using the fimfiction.net posting interface.

female in equestria, not many of those so thank you for writing it.

>“Too many moving parts! Can’t use it prone! Too slow to reload! Limited types of ammunition! Just about the only military that used them were the irregulars in the Spanish Civil War. It’s only good for hunting.”

Dead wrong. The Natives at the Little Big Horn steam rolled Custer with lever actions. Granted him and his men had trapdoors, but even with bolt actions the fire rate increase over bolt actions would make a lever action superior as an "assault rifle". Lever action rifles are also superior for cavalry and overall handiness, as they don't have a big ass bolt handle sticking you in places and hanging up on shit.

The real reason militaries focused on bolt actions was they had this very *false* hangup on long range marksmanship. They wanted solders engaging targets out to 600 (or more) yards. This is bullshit and it cost Custer his life. In close quarters level actions wreck bolt actions.

Also the linkages for a lever action isn't that complex really, for example the Marlin 336
http://www.urban-armory.com/diagrams/marlin336.gif
Granted this design is from the 1940s, and as such somewhat more developed than the older Winchesters.

The ammo is limited to flat or round nose bullets, assuming you aren't counting the modern soft ballistic tipped shells they've got now. But within 200 yards it really doesn't matter if you are using spitzer rounds or not.

Oh, and also the Russian did in fact use Winchester 1895's chambered in 7.62x54R back in WWI. The guns were well liked.
http://www.guns.com/2015/10/26/the-winchester-1895-rifle-winchesters-other-lever/
Oh, what's this, a level action gun that is using a modern (--ish) spitzer round with a internal magazine *and stripper clip fed*.

Also, not all guns have to be front line military in usage. Her thinking is just straight up wrong. Level actions still have great niches even today. And has a guide, hunter, or scout in an area with dangerous wildlife a lever action "guide gun" chambered in something like .45-70 would be very useful.

Edit: fixed spelling bold action -> bolt action. WTF I must have been tired.

8582845
I appreciate your feedback. I will be honest, I got much of the information on lever-action weaponry from Wikipedia. Melissa may have been only considering the military perspective of things, as much of her knowledge base on firearms comes from that area. Those other niches you spoke of simply didn't occur to her, she was devising weapons for combat and little else, at most just guessing that the military gear would cover any problem. I also didn't know clip-fed lever-action firearms even existed, that might be useful in the future.
Cavalry in the traditional sense just didn't occur to me when writing, thanks for pointing out that oversight. Are there any sources of information you can recommend to me on late 19th century/early 20th century warfare?

8583864
Fair enough, and I sort of suspected that the character had a strong bias. I mean hell so far you got her looking a bit high strung really.

I'm not a proper historian, but rather an enthusiast. That being said I can strongly recommend the youtube channel "Forgotten weapons" and it's sister channel InRangeTV

https://www.forgottenweapons.com/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLS9OQoWbNM

These last two explicitly address some of the things I mention about lever guns:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOtW76itFtU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8KfCKjbIUA

8585118
you forget that enthusiasts are sometimes better historians than actual historians. i am part of the SCA and we have people who know more about medieval history than actual historians.

Well that escalated quickly, and now we must figure why this celestia thinks she is sunset

I mostly liked this chapter. No real troubles following what was happening, pretty good structure, and it had an enjoyable pace. I’m not completely enamoured by the main character, but I’ll give the next chapter a try and see if I like her more. I also didn’t like the white space sections, where I’m guessing that lyrics used to be; it wasn’t clear if they were section breaks or not, making the story harder to read.

I do have one question though: why haven’t you put this in any groups? You generally get a lot more views once a story is in a few groups (provided that they’re actually relevant). Once you clear the ten-vote threshold people will be more likely to take a chance and read it (provided that they’re mostly positive, of course). The only reason I read this chapter was because I saw it on the recent uptdates section, and was curious about a multi-chapter story this long without ten votes.

8623050
Thanks for your feedback. I have previously attempted to put them into groups, both the Human in Equestria and the Female in Equestria(FiE) groups. While the system tells me that they're in those groups, but it does not appear when I check those folders. Any advice you can offer me would be great, I am relatively new to the site.

8623761

Huh - my mistake. I checked and your story is in both groups - sorry. I would note that your story is in the non-NSFW folder of the FiE group, which might reduce how many people who find it want to read it. Maybe you can send a post to the group admin to get it moved to the right folder, unless they’re using NSFW as a shorthand for ‘clop’.

It’s also in the ‘General’ folder of the Human in Equestria group, which seems to be the right place, based on the first chapter, but that folder has nearly 2,000 stories, so yours is likely to get lost in the noise, particularly without the necessary ten votes for people to see its rating.

It’s a tricky situation, and I don’t have any good advice to offer, I’m afraid.

Well, thanks for your help anyway. I was concerned that the site had malfunctioned somehow. I do believe they're using NSFW in the conventional sense, though, so I'm intent on keeping it out of that folder.

Thanks for posting the story. There's a lot I like about it, but I'm struggling to like the primary character, and her apparent obsession with industrialisation.

I feel that the addition of magic means that a lot of assumptions about the 'best' solution to some problems may be wrong. Additionally the disadvantages of a sudden move to an industrial society (significant changes in roles making some cutie-marks obsolete, rapid migration to the unprepared (and presumably unhygienic) cities, and pollution for some examples) may outweigh the potential benefits. The introduction of new tech requires some basic infrastructure that would take a long time to set up and introduce, and I'm not sure she's taking that into account. I'm also a little worried by someone wanting to make missiles without having suitable to aim them at.

So thanks for writing the story, I did enjoy the first two chapters, but I think I'll drop it here.

That explains the Q dream. Hopefully the ponies will actually think about the cruel truths he revealed and be prepared to make some amends. It's not the whole truth, but there's enough to it that they really should be doing some soul-searching about how Melissa was treated. Especially Fluttershy and Celestia. And I hope someone discusses what happened with Lyra and Bon Bon, letting them know they threw an innocent victim under the bus without even talking to her.

The similarities between Melissa and Sunset's behaviour does lead me to wonder though. Did Sunset also suffer from ADD or was she poorly socialized? I could see a feedback loop happening, as ponies react negatively to her social stumblings, she gets more and more impatient and unforgiving towards their reactions to her, until her poor behaviour towards others becomes the deliberate choice they originally mistook it for instead of the inadvertent social miscues and errors it started as. Just a thought.

Well, this has been an interesting read. The story runs quite smoothly but the setting of "Crossover of a fanfic" surely drives a lot of people off from starting to read it. This story could easily be made a lot more popular if it was stand-alone story with its own setting. There are a lot of references in here, and some enjoy it but to me it was a bit too much, but could be it just is how the character is, explaining things from perspective of random TV series or books. The story seemed a bit incoherent at times, things happened a bit jumpily but i count that as being due me not having read the Hands.

Anyway thank you for writing this, and do not be shy to write more things if the mood picks you!

I didn't check the word count beforehand so I was not mentally prepared for a 16000 word intro.

Second Industrial Revolution, here we come.

Why didn't I find this fic sooner?

he pistol lay on the side table, the clip removed and put atop the other three found in Melissa’s jacket.

ree

shit, this is amazing.

Considering rail ways, suspended steel bridge, skyscrapers, hydroelectric dam, Twilight attempts to take Pinkie encephalogram, x-ray, Twilight mentioning of quantum physics, modern bathrooms and Apple irrigation system for their kitchen garden that assembled from standard steel pipes I have a hard time to belive that that "hundred years" behind us. Several decades? Yes. Hundreds of years? Definitely no.

Well, I think that Oliver sums all of this better that me.

The woman in the picture is Sunset Shimmer, right?

My god, I am in a bad fanfic.

Sweet Celestia!! The self awareness is off the charts!!

“Eat my ass, you cum-colored christmas ornament!” Melissa spat, flipping her off with both hands.

Pffft... HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!! Holy Fuck! You hust couldn't resist that one, could you?!

SO MANY REFERENCES!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! That was a happy scream. Dr. Wolf, Jasper Pie, Sunset's gecko, Ray! I love it!!

Melissa pulled out Glamdring, holding it by her side, “I don’t see anyone else in here. I got a few clips of bullets and superior combat training. I’d like to see--”

(eyetwitch)

8782202
I was talking about the cover art.

Dear Zeta, you really need to add this to groups. And get more fetching cover art.

Gimme a couple days and I'll see if I'm interested in editing.

8873727
I realized that eventually. Not sure how long. Way too long. :twilightsheepish:

8873920
I have added the story to groups, but unfortunately it doesn't like to appear. I've had this problem before, and I have no idea how to fix it. Any advice?

...Please tell me she's not going to pull an Independence Day...

8957787
Yes. That. Please tell me she isn't going to do that

8957798 I hope zetasquadron94 doesn't have go out that way either. I like this fic too much. Even moreso that it ties into Hands too.

Will this story have any sex or sexy moments in it?

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