USMC Corporal Melissa Foster has been mysteriously stranded in Equestria. She is determined to survive in a world she once thought fiction, using her wits and training, along with the help of a certain group of locals and another castaway from Earth.
I mostly liked this chapter. No real troubles following what was happening, pretty good structure, and it had an enjoyable pace. I’m not completely enamoured by the main character, but I’ll give the next chapter a try and see if I like her more. I also didn’t like the white space sections, where I’m guessing that lyrics used to be; it wasn’t clear if they were section breaks or not, making the story harder to read.
I do have one question though: why haven’t you put this in any groups? You generally get a lot more views once a story is in a few groups (provided that they’re actually relevant). Once you clear the ten-vote threshold people will be more likely to take a chance and read it (provided that they’re mostly positive, of course). The only reason I read this chapter was because I saw it on the recent uptdates section, and was curious about a multi-chapter story this long without ten votes.
8623050 Thanks for your feedback. I have previously attempted to put them into groups, both the Human in Equestria and the Female in Equestria(FiE) groups. While the system tells me that they're in those groups, but it does not appear when I check those folders. Any advice you can offer me would be great, I am relatively new to the site.
I mostly liked this chapter. No real troubles following what was happening, pretty good structure, and it had an enjoyable pace. I’m not completely enamoured by the main character, but I’ll give the next chapter a try and see if I like her more. I also didn’t like the white space sections, where I’m guessing that lyrics used to be; it wasn’t clear if they were section breaks or not, making the story harder to read.
I do have one question though: why haven’t you put this in any groups? You generally get a lot more views once a story is in a few groups (provided that they’re actually relevant). Once you clear the ten-vote threshold people will be more likely to take a chance and read it (provided that they’re mostly positive, of course). The only reason I read this chapter was because I saw it on the recent uptdates section, and was curious about a multi-chapter story this long without ten votes.
8623050
Thanks for your feedback. I have previously attempted to put them into groups, both the Human in Equestria and the Female in Equestria(FiE) groups. While the system tells me that they're in those groups, but it does not appear when I check those folders. Any advice you can offer me would be great, I am relatively new to the site.
I didn't check the word count beforehand so I was not mentally prepared for a 16000 word intro.
Second Industrial Revolution, here we come.
Why didn't I find this fic sooner?