Colonization

by garatheauthor

2017: 150 Years Later

Twilight groaned as she awoke from her slumber, rubbing the sleep from her bleary eyes. The glowing red of her alarm clock told her that it was a little before 8 in the morning.

She slowly pulled herself out of bed and lumbered over to the window. Currently a heavy metallic blind covered it.

“Open,” she mumbled.

The blinds opened and a harsh light flooded in.

Twilight winced and looked away. The sunlight was always so much brighter above atmosphere.

“Tint,” she said.

The window darkened and the sunlight became increasingly bearable. Finally, after a few moments she could stare out at the vastness of space. Down below was the blue and green gem of planet Earth.

For the past 150 years she had been an ambassador to this planet. At first, it had been an ambassadorship to the British Empire. This was a post she served faithfully until 1910 when the British Empire became the British Earth Empire after the last despotic regime was incorporated into the union. Then in 1946 she became the Equestrian ambassador to the Britannic Galactic Empire when they reached for the stars. Now 61 years later, the Empire spanned 954 planets and included 56 races.

All of this was because of Equestria. The ability to control nature allowed the British to win a swift victory over dreary weather. This spawned a golden age of technological and cultural advancement. These advances when paired with the good and noble nature of the British people allowed for the virtual elimination of poverty, war, and hunger.

Modern day Equestria was a jewel of the British crown. Canterlot was like Ottawa, Canberra, Singapore, or Hong Kong. Cities that, while nowhere near as grand as the city of London, were still impressive monuments to Britain.

“Tea,” she said.

A mug materialized before her. She caught it with her magic and took a healthy sip. It tasted as perfect as ever.

She looked out upon the planet below. By this point she had lived there longer than Equestria. The only reason she was aboard the HMS Eternal Anglo was for diplomatic purposes. She’d been called to attend the opening of a British colony within the newly named Equestrian system.

It was good to be home.

An alarm in her room beeped. It then beeped again.

“Answer,” Twilight said.

A hologram appeared in the centre of her room.

Rarity smiled at her. “Good morning dear, did you enjoy your trip?”

She didn’t look a day over 30. Yet again, Twilight had to thank the British for developing a treatment for eternal life.

“I had a lot of fun. Though don’t tell anyone I said this, but the place was kind of backwater.”

“Well what did you expect? It’s a brand-new colony.”

“They didn’t even have a Tesco”

“Oh dear.”

“So, what do I have planned for today?”

“I’m afraid you have a jam-packed schedule. First you’re needed on the Isle of Victoria for a summit of British colonial ambassadors.”

The Isle of Victoria was located on the Victorian Sea. A sea which had been artificially formed without consequence from the unimportant lands directly south of the English Channel.

Rarity went on. “Then the mayor of Arnold wants to meet with you.”

“Where is Arnold again?”

“Oh, it’s a small city within the District of Columbia. They’re opening a Human-Equestrian friendship centre.”

“That’s pretty far. Do you think the super-sonic train will be quick enough?”

“I’m afraid not. You’ll have to use the teleportation network.”

Twilight nodded. “Anything else after that?”

“Hmmm well Elizabeth and Celestia are having tea at Westminster and they’ve both sent you an invitation. That’s at 4.”

“Oh, I’ll have to make time for that. It’s been ages since I’ve seen either of them.”

Rarity smiled. “And then afterwards, you can have dinner with me and the girls.”

“That sounds fantastic. What are we having?”

“They’ve opened up a new fish and chips place in Ponyville. This one uses ingredients from other planets.”

“Sounds tasty.”

An alarm flashed, this time silently. She was getting a call from the Prime Minister.

“Sorry Rarity, but I got to go. I’m getting a call from Jeremy.”

Author's Note:

I am so sorry. I just wanted to meme the HiE genre super hard.

Comments

[IPlayCardsNShit]

Sorry mate but you appear to have misspelled Theresa 😂

[Gavier]

The entire equestrian army consists on forty royal guards...

Headcanon accepted.

[garatheauthor]

8273143
I'm sorry but in this timeline massive support from the coalfields of Nigel V and Steel Mills of Tesco VII were enough to swing a Labour majority in the 2017 BGE (British Galactic Empire) Election.

8273189
Celestia may be responsible for drastically cutting the defense budget by 99.999% over the last 1000 years. Some layoffs were bound to happen.

[Iron Sky]

The Isle of Victoria was located on the Victorian Sea. A sea which had been artificially formed without consequence from the unimportant lands directly south of the English Channel.

Upon reading that line, I failed to maintain a stiff upper lip.

[D-Bence35]

“They didn’t even have a Tesco”

I'm dead. This killed me.

[KnightMysterio]

I don't understand what I just read.

[beefkebab]

This fic establishes once and for all, that the world is shit not because of Eternal Anglo but instead because Eternal Non-Anglos ruin noble plans of Brits.

[garatheauthor]

8687044
God save the queen.

[Midnight Quill]

After your other two stories, I'm not entirely sure what I read here. This felt surprisingly... random?

[FanOfMostEverything]

...
...
If you're wondering, each ellipsis represents me staring at the comment text box for ten seconds, unsure what to write.
...
Yeah, I wasn't in the right mindset for this one. The massacre of Equestria's army should have been a tipoff, but then we got to the timeskip and...

No, that one didn't represent another ten-second pause.

Suffice to say, this was definitely a thing.

[Cuy Val Dar]

>The British Empire is so big and so successful in its imperial policy that it now controls the entire galaxy

>Jeremy Corbyn somehow ends up PM

I despair of trying to understand British politics.