I look out into this city and see only what is mine. The sisters of night and day may say that the land of Equestria is theirs to rule. But Canterlot is mine, every street, every pony and every bit of wealth is mine to play with. After all, no pony who's anypony can be anyone without invoking my name.
I am prince Blueblood, direct descendant of the unicorn royalty and no pony is free from my grasp.
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I recall reading some of your earlier stories, and I have to say that your prose has taken a great leap in improvement! I love the concept here, and the only suggestion that I have for you is to try and make the dialogue sound a bit more natural. Pish-Posh speak is nice, but make sure that you can imagine the characters say what they're saying. You can try reading out your lines out-loud to see if they flow well. If not, then you may want to consider revising.
Good luck!
Is it me... or am I starting to like Blue Blood more because of this story? >=3
Hope to see more at some point. This is how you do arrogance.
7740008
This was more of a prototype for La petite mort.
I plan to finish that far sooner than this. Finish of course after I comeback and polish what I've done so far on it. Haven't touched this site in like a year.