Rainbow quickly flew to Twilight's library and crashed through a first floor window, startling Spike. "Woah, Rainbow are you okay?" Spike asked the obviously not okay Pegasus.
Rainbow stood up and zoomed past Spike. "Not now Spike!" She called as she disappeared up the flight of stairs. Rainbow broke through Twilight's door, grabbed her and flew out the window.
"Dah! Rainbow what are you doing!?" Twilight screamed, confused would be too weak of a word to describe how she was feeling.
Rainbow stopped in front of the weather managing building and put Twilight down. "Okay I need your help to find out what in Tartarus caused me to somehow appear in a black room, see Scootaloo dead and see you and the rest of the girls lifeless bodies wither away!" Rainbow panicked.
Twilight took a moment to process what Rainbow said. "Is this a prank?" She asked.
Rainbow's right eye twitched, then she shook Twilight violently. "Do I look or sound like I'm pulling a bucking prank!?" She let go of Twilight and took a step back. "Sorry... But no. This isn't a prank, I'm serious."
Twilight regained her composer. "I-i'm sorry too. I shouldn't have assumed that you would pull a prank on me with something like that."
"Let's not get all mushy, we still have to find out what made me see all those things." Rainbow said, determination clear in her voice.
"Right." Twilight stood up. "How are we gonna figure it out though. I don't know any spell that could make somepony see those type of things."
"You don't have to know of any, just use a spell that can detect if any strong magic has been used recently in this area." Twilight turned to Rainbow with wide eyes. "What?" Rainbow asked.
"When did you get so smart when it comes to magic?" Twilight asked.
"It's not very difficult to use common sense, Twilight." Rainbow rolled her eyes.
Twilight blinked. "Are you the same Rainbow I know?"
Rainbow glared at Twilight. "Just cast the spell."
Twilight nodded and walked into the building, Rainbow right behind. Twilight started casting the spell. "Woah." Twilight said, taking a step back.
"What is it?" Rainbow asked, her annoyance now turned concerned.
"You were right. The magical energy in this room is massive, but it's not a natural cause, it was by a pony!" Twilight exclaimed.
"So somepony is getting their kicks from seeing ponies freak out." Rainbow summarized, venom stinging her tone.
"In short, yes." Twilight shuddered.
"Is there any way to track them?" Rainbow asked.
"Unfortunately, no." Twilight hung her head.
Rainbow contemplated what to do. "We should wait for the next time this pony strikes again." She figured.
"I guess that's the only thing we can do, isn't it?" Twilight asked solemnly. Rainbow could only nod in response.
Roll credits
That poor window… but fair enough. She’s in a rush.
I really wish I used another word than “zoomed”. Also, that poor door and other window. Wait, why didn’t she just use this window in the first place?
How far did she fly?! And how fast? I’m surprised Twilight didn’t lose her breakfast, or try to teleport out of the frantic mare’s clutches. Also, heck of an explanation, Dash. If only I conveyed just how fast you probably blurted that out better.
Honestly… fair reaction. It would be a grim prank, but what else is Twilight suppose to think?
Should have added Twilight’s reaction to being shaken. Also, Rainbow feels pretty bipolar here. I guess it sorta makes sense, but it felt a bit clunky to read.
Not sure composure is the right word, but it’s close enough to not be a problem. Using “pull a prank” here feels a little too wordy, and likely not what Twilight would say. She’d probably just shorten it to prank.
Missing question mark when Twilight asked something. Missing “s” on “type” to make it plural.
Hmm. I understand I wanted to make Rainbow a little smarter here, but…
She also just comes off as pretty rude. Not to mention how, even if she is “smarter”, that doesn’t mean she would have that knowledge. How would she know if a spell like the type she’s asking Twilight to cast is possible?
Again, pretty rude. I understand Rainbow just saw some pretty horrific stuff, but I’m not sure she would act this way towards any of her friends. Not in this situation anyway.
Wait she was genuinely annoyed? That feels a bit undeserved. How did Twilight annoy her? By being understandably a little confused?
This is a nitpick, but “enormous” would have worked better. Also, was Twilight amazed by the magic reading she detected? If that’s the case, it’s not very clear. I’m also not sure if it’s appropriate given the situation. After what Rainbow described, Twilight would likely be more concerned that somepony was able to cast a spell like that.
I can not read Twilight’s thoughts here very well at all. Especially when the phrase “in short, yes” is used during a shudder. It feels pretty incoherent.
Really? I would have to research this more. I get why I didn’t want tracking them to be possible, but I’d need to check if there’s precedent for it in any pony media. It may not exist, or it may very well be a thing. I can see either being the case.
Not sure Rainbow would suggest this. Granted, she doesn’t have much of a choice, but I would expect her to be more bitter about it.
This chapter feels… disappointing. Though that can be said for the previous chapter as well. They should have simply been one complete chapter, though “complete” doesn’t feel right when their combined word count is still under a thousand. It just feels like a lot more could have been done with this premise’s first outing. That being said; for as much as they were lacking in detail, they were even weaker characterization wise. Rainbow felt unnecessarily mean in this chapter, and Twilight barely got to do or even feel anything. Their was nothing engaging here, just “dark” moments for the sake of it.